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I relate to things that have sentimental value. My mother was really good about choosing what to keep and what not to, so what she did save was hard to sort for different reasons. So little to choose from. There are several things I know I do not actually want, but they are around as my few tokens of things that remind me of her.
Oh HECK NO - this stuff and these situations are NOT going on Facebook. This is where I vent and the only place I vent. I haven't even shared on Facebook that the old place is sold and I don't intend to.
I already have told all immediate family members that if they want anything, come get it. This was after my mom first took all that she wanted to her new place. Then my brothers and I walked through (well, one brother - we did have a list of items the other brother wanted moved and stored FOR him, which we've done reluctantly but that party is OVER). My dad had left a shortish list of heirloom items that he thought people would want and we divvied that stuff up, with very little drama, thankfully. That leaves my kids. Three of the four of them walked through and chose a few items. Then my mom actually offered the two daughters her two sets of dining room furniture and surprisingly, they both took her up on that so they loaded up, along with a few other items. My sons only seemed interested in things like my dad's hats, a few books, and some WW2 and Civil War era stuff that I have ended up storing, of course. At least no furniture requests from them!
Oh and everyone's got paintings.
So that takes care of the principle residence. I have been telling everyone for months now "If you want anything from the farm, go get it." So that's that. But I am sure I will hear how I "gave all the heirlooms away" one day. Oh well. I didn't see anyone beating a path to the place when work needed to be done (other than my older brother, who has been a life saver). So I guess they can all, well...you get the idea.
Back in the day, shortly after my parents were married, they each painted one picture. My dad painted a snow scene in a village, much like a Christmas village. I treasure that painting, and am going to buy a better frame for it at some point.
Mom painted a picture of several pieces of fruit. It hangs in the garage over the freezer, which I guess tells you what they thought of it! My only emotional attachment to it is the fact that my mom painted it. Otherwise, I wouldn't want it hanging in my home! Dad's painting is different, it's quite well done and I think will look good in a better frame.
I'm gradually going through a room of stuff my dad collected through the years. Throwing away papers and just junk. Anything worth keeping or selling later, I show to my sister. What she or I don't want will go into a sale later. (Since this is mom's home and she still lives here, we don't want to rush into having any sale.)
Like mentioned elsewhere, my dad had boxes full of slides in cartridges, some of which he took the slides and had made into CD's and a handful into prints. Many were of our family when I was a child, as well as cousins years ago when the extended family got together more often. Books, old pieces of furniture (some of which I want to chalk paint and use) and several framed pictures like you have as well. A couple of these I want, but most of them will probably have to be sold or given away.
This is funny, my sisters in laws are in their 70's and have two children. They have actually put stickers on the bottom of everything , marking all of their possessions to who gets what when they pass on. My sons wont have to worry about my "stuff" , I am getting ready to do my 3rd move in 4 years so I am learning quickly that I don't need "stuff" because it has to be moved
Yep. My parents moved four times in the last five years. I helped them move every time, because you know - they were old and needed my help. Finally I said, "GOOD GRIEF, Y'ALL - what's with all the dang moving?" Well, it was an adventure to them - frankly they didn't get along all that well a lot of the time, but moving was a project and an adventure to them that they could both relate to and get into - as long as they had their "help."
About a year and a half ago, my mom started eyeballing a house right down the street from them. It wasn't even on the freaking market! But she wanted my dad to contact the owners and tell them if they ever wanted to sell, to let them know.
OMG ,that was the last straw. I mean, the same neighborhood, the same builder, nearly the same square footage! I said, "You know what - you are both adults and can do anything you want to do, but I am not picking up a single box or hanging a single picture. You want to move? You're completely on your own."
Interesting how they quit talking about moving when their lackey said "no more."
They really had scaled down a lot prior to this, but it was only because I was surreptitiously chunking stuff with every move. And they didn't even seem to notice! Crazy.
My dad was super organized so you didn't really realize just how much stuff he had till you started having to move it.
I'm not dead yet but my daughters are already fighting over stuff they WANT. Its not even things that my husband and I bought but their grandparents things that I saved.
Do your daughters a favor and add an itemized list of who gets what as an addendum to your will.
I've had two instances in my family where family members no longer speak to each other due to battling over who was supposed to get what when the parents died.
It's silly really; stuff isn't the same as people. But, when someone dies, grief makes people go a little crazy.
My grandmother used her priceless Haviland china every day of her life for dinner. I don't know how she never broke a single piece of service for twelve but whatever...
She used to say "Nobody's coming here who's any better than us".
Tell your husband. Use it or lose it.
I love that! When my mother was alive she also used her own China just for us. She had chosen more practical China for that reason, and got many sets.
When my gma passed, we packed up what we wanted and arranged transport for it and then sold everything else for whatever anyone wanted to give. 25 cents? Sold. You want it as a donation for a charity sale? Here you go. Those residents were like vultures, which upset me, but my mother didn't care. They were taking the stuff away, which is what mattered to her. And it was her decision. I am glad that she was so pragmatic about it.
But PS: I have 4 sets of China.
I could use your gmas method and start using them I guess. But they wouldn't survive the dishwasher
There are some creative ways to divide property where each person puts in a silent bid... it is not really money but if one person really wants one thing they can use all of their equal allotment and get it.
Friends did this with true antiques... what was left was sold and everyone thought it was fair.
I guess in the case of this thread if no one really wants it... use free cycle and/or a dumpster for things you cannot donate.
Even donation is a crap shoot.
I had bought a home that had three 1930's patio swings... they were all metal with cushions.
Had one on the truck to donate and the center said no... just as I was leaving a customer stopped me and asked about it... to make a long story short he offered $50 for it and sold... the donation center didn't want it and lost out.
Part of getting rid of things is to be smart about it... either realize something for it or minimize the cost of disposal.
WE bought a gorgeous Tiger Oak antique Piano by mistake on E-may many years ago. Then we found out shipping would cost more than the piano ($500 for the piano, shipping was originally $2500, but we got it down to $750) Then we had to get it tuned (about $1500 - it had to be tuned in increments). We also had to buy new strings on occasion, Then we had to pay for piano lessons for the kids so the Piano woudl serve some purpose other than to look pretty in the front parlor. When we moved, it was to large and heavy to go on the truck and the cost to move it was back in the $2500 range. That $500 piano probably cost me $4,000. We sold it to a friend for $2000.
Used Pool tables are the same, the cost more to move and set up properly than they are worth. Even free, they generally are not worth it unless they have been recently restored. However you have to take them apart to move them so everything has to be redone anyway. We see them offered for free fairly often. My Dad has one in the basement, we played many thousands of games on it, but some of the the bumpers are now dead. It is ugly (form the 1970s) even though it is 1" slate. However moving it, replacing the bumpers and the felt, would likely cost about $2000. You can buy new ones cheaper and they include delivery and set up.
That reminds me of when I went to auction at an old farm house near me. The owner had been a country vet for 50 years. I saw that he had wicker dog crate for sale for half what they cost online or at the pet store. Welll........I got the dog crate, along with, 3 large (one is huge) gorgeous oriental rugs, a beautiful Waterford crystal vase and some lovely cherry end tables with two gorgeous lamps to put on them. We had to pay for delivery of all these beautiful things. Of course all the rugs had be cleaned as the vet had dogs and having oriental rugs picked up, cleaned, and returned was rather costly. And I decided while they were coming to pick up the new rugs they may as well take three other dirty rugs from the house.
The bottom line, I saved $200 on a fancy dog crate that we used twice and spent $7,500 on everything else. But hey, I saved money on that darn dog crate that our newly rescued dog absolutely hated and he could Houdini himself out of no matter what we did!
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