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I'm sure your parents were very appreciative of your help and love.
For me, it was tough when mom passed (5 years ago today, coincidentally).
But, because dad is still with us (living in our home with us), while things changed (became a little easier), overall the rhythm of the day did not change.
I can only imagine when dad is gone how profoundly different it will feel. Calmer likely, but emptier as well.
I would imagine it's (in some ways) quite similar to a parent who used to fill their time with their children and children's activities and now has no idea how to fill the hours.
Take care of yourself while you're grieving. You're not expected to bounce into a new lifestyle immediately.
I'm not sure if this would appeal to you but if you have a dog you can take classes and train it to be certified as a service dog. My sister has done that with some of her Great Danes and she would take them one evening a week to a nursing home. Everyone at the home loves to see them and pet them and it really makes their day. Doing something along these lines may help you to get used to not being a care-giver all of the time by still being one part-time.
I'm not sure if this would appeal to you but if you have a dog you can take classes and train it to be certified as a service dog. My sister has done that with some of her Great Danes and she would take them one evening a week to a nursing home. Everyone at the home loves to see them and pet them and it really makes their day. Doing something along these lines may help you to get used to not being a care-giver all of the time by still being one part-time.
Great thought but most facilities will only let Registered Therapy Dogs in to interact with patients. That's a whole different thing from Service Dog. It's both costly and time consuming. Once training is complete and before dogs are taken out, they must have a high dollar insurance policy. Mine had Lloyds of London, $1,000,000 policy. Training for Therapy Dogs is much more intense than for Service Dogs, which serve their master only, while Therapy Dogs serve anyone in need.
Great thought but most facilities will only let Registered Therapy Dogs in to interact with patients. That's a whole different thing from Service Dog. It's both costly and time consuming. Once training is complete and before dogs are taken out, they must have a high dollar insurance policy. Mine had Lloyds of London, $1,000,000 policy. Training for Therapy Dogs is much more intense than for Service Dogs, which serve their master only, while Therapy Dogs serve anyone in need.
Sorry, you are correct... I used the wrong term. She trained them as Therapy dogs. They were certified and insured.
Location: Foothills of Maryland Blue Ridge mountains
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First of all I'm sorry for your loss. I really am. I will echo what others have said.....be kind to,yourself. You are in the beginning stages of grief and nothing will feel normal for awhile.
I cared for my dad for 10 years while he suffered with Parkinson's. I attended a grief support group after he died. It was helpful being around others who were grieving within the structure of a group. I could see that others were experiencing similar emotions and I didn't feel so alone/crazy.
It's hard changing courses after a long period of caretaking. Take good care of yourself.
It hasn't happened to me, but you have my sympathy because I do see posts where I can tell that the person is heading exactly in this same direction, sometimes by being the caregiver, and sometimes just by living at home with parents and not venturing out into the world.
I'm sorry that your parents apparently didn't make an effort to push you to make more social connections, both to give you a respite and to ensure other relationships. But at least you know that you did well by them.
It's good that you're working. But now you have to start to think about what else you might like to have in your life. Of course, you're probably still grieving for your father - and on top of that, you're probably feeling very lonely. If you have friends, or if you have relatives your own age, I hope you reach out to them, and get together. Then you have to think about what else you'd like to try. I suggest that you sit down and make a list of things that you know you enjoy doing, or that you might like to explore. It could be anything - travel, cooking, art, tennis, gardening, singing, yoga. Maybe you have some expertise you'd like to share. Maybe you'd like to do some political volunteering. Investigate what groups you might join, or classes you might take. But steer clear of too much television, to much snacking, or anything along those lines. Think especially about a home project that you might like - maybe a reading project?
Caregiving was a long decade plus for me. And I will just be brutally honest and say when it was finally over what I felt most was plain old relief. It was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. They were long deaths and I did most of my grieving when they were still alive. I had been stuck for so long with so few options. I didn't even know ME anymore!
My life was no longer on hold. I ran for the nearest cliff and jumped off! I packed up my dogs in my VW Beetle and moved to Las Vegas. And I never looked back. I left my H too. I wasn't mean about it, I gave him 10 years notice. I was just DONE. Done with all of it!
It was an excellent choice. I met the love of life in Las Vegas. My mission in life now is to have a good time. I am finished with responsibilities.
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