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So, the thread is pretty self-explanatory. I'm an only child, mom is 67 and in excellent health other than needing both of her knees replaced. Bad hips/knees run in the family.
She wants to recover at a (nice) assisted living facility rather than at home with me taking care of her. Do people do this? She says she doesn't want to fool with having to get ready for appointments, travel to them etc. I tell her that PTs will come to her, but she still insists she'd rather just recover there, as the house isn't ideal for recovery (stairs, etc.). She's like "heck let Medicare pay for it, I earned it" lol.
So I'm wondering if this is something that's done, etc.
I am happy to take care of her after the surgery but she's insisting she'd rather just "do it all there and get it all over with."
Lol am I bad son or does she have some valid points here?
Its important to distinguish between "assisted living" type facilities (ALF) and "rehabilitation" or "nursing home" type facilities. Medicare or other insurance does NOT pay for renting an apartment with board at an ALF. At most, insurance could cover the cost of medically necessary services she uses while a tenant there. She would still have to arrange her own appointments, transportation to and from, though the ALF can provide help with that. Some of these services are included in the rent, others are extra. The cost could be pretty steep depending on the level of assistance she ends up needing (daily help with meds, personal care, getting around, meals, etc).
Its important to distinguish between "assisted living" type facilities (ALF) and "rehabilitation" or "nursing home" type facilities. Medicare or other insurance does NOT cover the cost of renting an apartment and getting meals in an ALF. At most, it could cover the cost of medical type services she uses while a tenant there. The cost could be pretty steep depending on the level of assistance she ends up needing (daily help with meds, personal care, getting around, meals, etc).
The place she speaks of is nice, I've been there before. I don't know all of the details but she said Medicare would pay for it. Money isn't an issue anyway she can afford whatever she needs, I just want to see some input from here. I hear knee surgery is absolutely awful to recover from, so maybe it would be best.
Normally after these replacements and if she's getting two knees done at the same time, she's going to need intensive PT and best place as I can see it would be the rehab facility. I believe medicare allows 21 days and by then she could be doing pretty good. That's a tough surgery and she's doing 2. I presume your mom would be going to a rehab facility. She'll get some pretty nice meals too and waited on.
My knee is nasty and I'm 79 and I'm dragging my feet to do it for a lot of reasons I won't go into.
Your mom is coming across with smarts. Good luck and hope she'll be fine.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 03-07-2018 at 10:53 PM..
The if it's just for rehab yes it's not a bad idea. My mom fell and broke her kneecap. She was and still is healthy. She needed it though. She was sent there with a cast from her upper thigh to her toes. Almost impossible to get around. They helper build up strength and learn to cope with it. She was there almost three weeks. Had cast on for another eight weeks or so after she got home. She had OT/PT every day in the rehab/nursing facility. It would have been impossible to travel every day for that.
On the other hand, if they are looking to be waited on that's not so good. During my dad recovery for something I think he moved around less in the rehab facility than he would have at home. But that was a different situation however.
Your mom can afford it and has stated it is the type of care she would prefer. You have even seen the facility. What is your real problem?
I can see her wanting to keep her family relationships at a more family level than nursing level. Maybe she feels more comfortable with others around in case of any issues (bathroom/bathing/etc.)? I would much rather have some level of help available right there even if it is just basic training.
Your mom can afford it and has stated it is the type of care she would prefer. You have even seen the facility. What is your real problem?
I can see her wanting to keep her family relationships at a more family level than nursing level. Maybe she feels more comfortable with others around in case of any issues (bathroom/bathing/etc.)? I would much rather have some level of help available right there even if it is just basic training.
Yes I’m wondering what the real issue is here. She is of sound mind and capable of making her own decisions, right?
Don’t go looking for problems where there are none.
My mother did it after her knee surgeries. She had PT twice a day and had to walk to the dining room at least three times a day, and to the Rec room whenever she wanted to play visit.
She got a lot of exercise. She always had staff available to help her. She made two new friends.
At home, she would sat in a recliner with her leg propped up a good deal of the time.
In three weeks, she was back and her feet and ready to negotiate the world again.
So, the thread is pretty self-explanatory. I'm an only child, mom is 67 and in excellent health other than needing both of her knees replaced. Bad hips/knees run in the family.
She wants to recover at a (nice) assisted living facility rather than at home with me taking care of her. Do people do this? She says she doesn't want to fool with having to get ready for appointments, travel to them etc. I tell her that PTs will come to her, but she still insists she'd rather just recover there, as the house isn't ideal for recovery (stairs, etc.). She's like "heck let Medicare pay for it, I earned it" lol.
So I'm wondering if this is something that's done, etc.
I am happy to take care of her after the surgery but she's insisting she'd rather just "do it all there and get it all over with."
Lol am I bad son or does she have some valid points here?
its not assisted living, but subacute rehab in a skilled nursing facility, which may or may not have an ALF attached, but your mom would be in subacute rehab not assisted living. I work in one of these as an OT, and we have many patients 10 and even 20 years younger than your mom for rehab. Why not give her a week to recover there?
Home therapy is not even close to the same, you'll have a OT/PT for 20-30 minutes 3 times a week who has very little equipment, a walker and a few exercise bands, versus 2+ hours a day in a facility, where we have all the equipment needed for rehab. Home therapy is for old frail people who are home bound, a younger person is better off with short intense rehab for a week or so, then just polish up the edges with home therapy once she's discharged. Why does it bother you, it sounds like you may be taking it personally?
I want to add, family members often caretake the person, wait on them. As someone else stated, in the nursing facility she'll have an entire staff carrying over what she's learning in therapy, whether it's getting dressed with assistive devices or walking to meals.
So, the thread is pretty self-explanatory. I'm an only child, mom is 67 and in excellent health other than needing both of her knees replaced. Bad hips/knees run in the family.
She wants to recover at a (nice) assisted living facility rather than at home with me taking care of her. Do people do this? She says she doesn't want to fool with having to get ready for appointments, travel to them etc. I tell her that PTs will come to her, but she still insists she'd rather just recover there, as the house isn't ideal for recovery (stairs, etc.). She's like "heck let Medicare pay for it, I earned it" lol.
So I'm wondering if this is something that's done, etc.
I am happy to take care of her after the surgery but she's insisting she'd rather just "do it all there and get it all over with."
Lol am I bad son or does she have some valid points here?
She does have very valid points
I think her doctor likely recommended this vs going home w/therapy
She is lucky she can afford to stay in quality rehab facility
Some people's insurance is not that supportive
Let her do it
Visit and call but remember she likely will have some intensive workouts and be tired--
Resting during this recovery time is just as important as the therapy itself
And consider this--
Your mother sounds like someone you care for and respect
She wants to keep that attitude and not risk it by having you (or your wife/family) see her when she is physically vulnerable, looking less than her best most of the time, or in a crappy mood because the rehab hurts (and it will)...
Allow her the buffer that this early rehab in professional environment will provide
She sounds pretty smart to me...
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