Single, 46 year old stuck taking care of parents. Advice....

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by Rowan123

Uh no, you did not cause the chaos and pain, they did by failing to plan and be realistic about their old age.
If they would have made appropriate plans, saved for retirement and moved in to housing that was suitable for them, they never would have been in the situation they're in now. It's all due to your parents' lack of planning and refusal to accept they're aging.

Not. Your. Fault.

Thanks for the update.

I agree.

Originally Posted by Jesseco

Thank you for the update. Your parents were already dependent (on you) for all the years they lived with you.
Now they are dependent on all of their children, and I'm thinking your siblings resent you a bit since you bore all of the burden before and they bore none.

It makes sense to me that you get waves of heartbreak, yet you appreciate being a little bit more removed.

I hope everyone continues to adjust; it sounds like a really good situation for both your parents and for you.

I agree. All those years your siblings did not have to do anything for their parents, as you handled everything, especially providing their housing. IMHO, your siblings are acting like spoiled brats because now they finally have to share the expense and work connected with having elderly parents, who did not save and plan well for their old age.

I am glad that they are enjoying their new house, although, I thought that you mentioned that they were going to be living with a daughter & SIL, who had a huge house that they did not share with anyone (if Africa did not work out).

Good luck to you.

[JGC97]

It's a blessing your parents didn't leave the country, considering they are now experiencing health problems. That was expected due their age. Sad to read that your siblings are ostracizing you, though. I know that has to hurt. It probably won't last too long - at least I hope not. Keep your chin up and live your life. Try to grab some happiness before you get too old to remember what it feels like.

[jencam]

I know my parents don't like the idea of being dependent but, they're just going to have to get used to it.

They were dependent all this time. On you.

Occasionally I get this wave of heartbreak for my parents. Knowing I displaced them and caused such chaos and pain in their lives. I try to accept my emotions and allow to them wash through me and out.

You're doing good.