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Old 08-08-2018, 10:57 PM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,564,537 times
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I want to say it does, but I can't find anything saying that. Medicare Home Health for my brother is only giving someone 2X a week for showering and dressing. That isn't much.

There has been a shift. As recently as a month ago when I tried again to discuss his half of the house being shielded from Medicaid he said he will never need it. He did concede he will need a nursing home, probably, but that with the proceeds from his half of the house he'd parlay that into stock market earnings to self-pay. I can't argue him out of fantasies, so I left that alone. We all decided we have to let go of what we want for him - his half in a trust so that in the nursing home, he has more than $50/month (or is it $25?)

Suddenly I got messages that he cut off his cell phone, because he can't drive anymore, might sell his Van for that reason and wants the house all in my name.

I asked why and he said so he could qualify for Medicaid nursing home. Of course the house wouldn't count against him, but whatever.

I don't know how we even do that. He said as Executrix I can do that, but I don't think so. The will says everything to be divided. It says I can assign anything not specified or something like that, which I took to mean smaller things, for a time I was thinking of assigning the dog to me, for instance, when there was a custody battle, or I would assign the cedar chest to me. (The only thing of my Mom's I want the most).

Anyway, this all took me by surprise, but while he's in this thinking mode I said I am pretty sure Medicaid will help you stay in the house longer. (Because it's cheaper than a nursing home, maybe?)

For those who think he shouldn't, I understand. But it's not up to me, he's going to stay as long as he can good or bad so I may as well help make it better if I can.

And please no comments about scamming the system. A special needs trust is explicitly allowed by law for the intended purpose. It's irrevocable, so if he didn't use the money up, it would go to Medicaid. And it can only be for specific things.

IDK, this is very complicated. To qualify for Medicaid, he'd have to get below 2K I think, and then how on earth could he keep paying the property taxes and so forth.

Sorry I am all over the place, but suddenly there is a lot 'in play'. March is the deadline to probate the will.
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Old 08-09-2018, 01:43 PM
 
3,763 posts, read 12,549,353 times
Reputation: 6855
OP -


apologies, I've followed your other threads from time to time but haven't been on much of late. I know your father was helping with your brother - is it your father who passed?

whomever it was, I'm sorry for your loss.

I believe that Medicaid does actually pay more towards custodial care - whether it's in a private home, or an institution (nursing home, etc)

Medicare is very limited in what it pays, as you've found out.


I think the 2K limit is basically assets, so if he had money coming in and used it to pay property taxes, it wouldn't hit the 2K, but I'm not sure on that.

If you were setting up a trust for him, couldn't the property taxes be paid from the trust?

I think Medicaid would likely have some helpful programs. I know your brother wants to stay in the house, and if programs exist that would allow it.. what do you have to lose by trying?

best of luck!
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Old 08-09-2018, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,153,902 times
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Every state is different, every situation is different and Medicaid rule are VERY complex.

In my state each county has a free service agency called Council on Disability and Aging that can assist with Medicaid applications. It may be called something similar in your state.

My husband, on Medicaid, was given the option of home care instead of full time facility (nursing home) care. In my state, and for his needs, they offered an aide coming each morning (Monday to Friday) for an hour, to get him up, dressed and feed him breakfast and get him on the free van to free all day adult day care. In the evening someone who be there to get him off the van, feed him, give him a shower and help him get ready for bed (maybe two hours). So basically care from 8 AM to 7 or 8 PM and then someone in the family needed to care for him all night and on weekends. If we did not want him in adult day care that did not mean that he would have qualified for extra in-home care. Now, for someone else maybe extra in-home care would have been appropriate.

He went into a facility as I could not care for him at home due to my Stage IV cancer.

I was told that each person's needs were evaluated and the appropriate amount of care, within the state guidelines, would be approved.

It was a different situation as, obviously, my husband was married. I was allowed a specific amount of money per month to live on, and the rest went to pay Medicaid. In our case, his entire SS check (almost $2,000 a month), plus $1,000 a month (from private disability) was paid for his care. If for some reason he would have received any additional money some month, it had to be spent on his care as he could never have more than $2,000 in assets at a time. ($3,000 in income a month was fine as it immediately was sent to the agency in charge of his Medicaid).

The rules are different for people that are not married. Before my aunt applied for Medicaid she was told that her house needed to be placed for sale within 30 days of the application (and then she needed to spend down the money that she received until she only had $2,000 in assets before Medicaid kicked in). Now, my widowed MIL, in another state did NOT have to sell her house before she applied for Medicaid. So, it is different in different places and in different situations.


With trusts and joint home ownership it would probably be best to consult with an elder care attorney to get the correct information.


Good luck.

Last edited by germaine2626; 08-09-2018 at 02:39 PM..
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Old 08-09-2018, 10:12 PM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,564,537 times
Reputation: 19723
OK, so he actually is not being difficult with me. That is cool. I am confused, though, after our last convo. He says he doesn't qualify for Medicaid nursing home. Because he can feed take care of his basic life care. I said what about the bathroom? And he said he could do that w/o assistance if it were remodeled to be larger (can't fit his scooter in there) and I said but it isn't, so you can't. He says the fact that he could means he doesn't qualify. It's sort of a good point.
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Old 08-09-2018, 10:32 PM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,564,537 times
Reputation: 19723
Quote:
Originally Posted by Briolat21 View Post
OP -


apologies, I've followed your other threads from time to time but haven't been on much of late. I know your father was helping with your brother - is it your father who passed?

whomever it was, I'm sorry for your loss.

I believe that Medicaid does actually pay more towards custodial care - whether it's in a private home, or an institution (nursing home, etc)

Medicare is very limited in what it pays, as you've found out.


I think the 2K limit is basically assets, so if he had money coming in and used it to pay property taxes, it wouldn't hit the 2K, but I'm not sure on that.

If you were setting up a trust for him, couldn't the property taxes be paid from the trust?

I think Medicaid would likely have some helpful programs. I know your brother wants to stay in the house, and if programs exist that would allow it.. what do you have to lose by trying?

best of luck!
Thank you, but thank God my Dad did not die. We never probated the will from when my mother died. My brother was an attorney and he has all kind of ideas involving trusts that don't make any sense to me. He believes that the house has to go in his name first before it can go anywhere else and Dad and I say no because then my half gets subjected to the look back.

I thought I convinced him this morning that putting on a life estate for him allows the taxes to be the same - disabled homestead is same as over 65 homestead. But I just got a message not to probate the will because of taxes, so that didn't stick.

I am not in charge. Dad intends to probate the will. That is happening.

Before, I thought there was ulterior motive to putting his name. He always wanted to borrow against it. Dad and I said no no no. He isn't asking after that anymore, but I always wonder if that is in the back of his mind.

To him, that equity just sitting there drives him crazy. He could remodel. Earn a million in the stock market.

I think he is spit-balling. Brainstorming. The other day he had said the house needs to go in my name and I was all YES. But turns out that involved something different than how I think of it. He said we'd need to sell it. Then where would he live? And that is when the brainstorming started.

He said the house is now an albatross around his neck. The taxes and the yard that he can't use. He only uses the living room, kitchen, and bathroom. Bedrooms are only for storage.

I said well, so a condo? I pay $200/month condo fee for all the exterior stuff here. Isn't that similar to what you pay? He said he could rent. Oh, no, sorry, housing values have doubled. As have rents. Even before that, I don't think there were rentals cheaper than taxes and upkeep on a house with no mortgage.

I suggested finding a program that does modifications for disabled like the bathroom. Maybe they don't do big things like that though.
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Old 08-09-2018, 10:37 PM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,564,537 times
Reputation: 19723
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Every state is different, every situation is different and Medicaid rule are VERY complex.

In my state each county has a free service agency called Council on Disability and Aging that can assist with Medicaid applications. It may be called something similar in your state.

My husband, on Medicaid, was given the option of home care instead of full time facility (nursing home) care. In my state, and for his needs, they offered an aide coming each morning (Monday to Friday) for an hour, to get him up, dressed and feed him breakfast and get him on the free van to free all day adult day care. In the evening someone who be there to get him off the van, feed him, give him a shower and help him get ready for bed (maybe two hours). So basically care from 8 AM to 7 or 8 PM and then someone in the family needed to care for him all night and on weekends. If we did not want him in adult day care that did not mean that he would have qualified for extra in-home care. Now, for someone else maybe extra in-home care would have been appropriate.

He went into a facility as I could not care for him at home due to my Stage IV cancer.

I was told that each person's needs were evaluated and the appropriate amount of care, within the state guidelines, would be approved.

It was a different situation as, obviously, my husband was married. I was allowed a specific amount of money per month to live on, and the rest went to pay Medicaid. In our case, his entire SS check (almost $2,000 a month), plus $1,000 a month (from private disability) was paid for his care. If for some reason he would have received any additional money some month, it had to be spent on his care as he could never have more than $2,000 in assets at a time. ($3,000 in income a month was fine as it immediately was sent to the agency in charge of his Medicaid).

The rules are different for people that are not married. Before my aunt applied for Medicaid she was told that her house needed to be placed for sale within 30 days of the application (and then she needed to spend down the money that she received until she only had $2,000 in assets before Medicaid kicked in). Now, my widowed MIL, in another state did NOT have to sell her house before she applied for Medicaid. So, it is different in different places and in different situations.


With trusts and joint home ownership it would probably be best to consult with an elder care attorney to get the correct information.


Good luck.
Thank you. He wouldn't want to go to a daycare. The information about the disposition of the house may be worth noting for me. IDK, I put this all out of my mind a long time ago when no one would agree on anything. My Dad has his reasons for waiting until almost the deadline for probate. I wasted my time and energy trying to discuss it with my brother.

Now, that part of the convo should be much easier. I am not in charge. Dad is going to probate the will. I guess I could refuse my role, but I am not going to. It's happening. Somewhat soon. There is still the back and forth about this trust idea. NO. I don't even understand the value of this 'living trust' idea for us.
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Old 08-10-2018, 03:06 AM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,564,537 times
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I think now I was tricked again. This was some sort of random thought process that went nowhere. We are exactly back where we started. Has to go in his name first and trusts and blah blah, and when I don't agree to that it's back to 'Then don't probate the will'.

I have scrambled egg brain again for nothing.

In order to even attempt to understand what he is thinking I have to get on the phone with him, which is hard. I can't say 3 words too many about anything w/o him saying 'I don't care' (if say, I talked about anything but him) or 3 words past the point he understands what I was saying and he has a paragraph about how he understands that and stop explaining. But he literally genuinely seems confused when he expounds, repeating himself over and over and I finally, after the 5th time say 'I understand, you can move on from that now'.

It's a struggle in myself because I understand that the best favor I can do for him is just listen. But if I am thinking we are in a solution mode, I want to stay on topic. But there never is a real solution mode.

I keep praying to God to make me a better person. Break this habit of trying to reason with him. Just let him talk. Surely there are some tools I could learn. When my mother's meds were not right, she would be hypomanic and just talk and talk forever. I would put down the phone. Pick it up occasionally to say 'mm hmm'. Passive listening, in a sense. She FELT HEARD, which was the important thing.

There must be something I can do that is similar for my brother. He isn't hypomanic. He would not be helped by just putting the phone down. I guess just more willpower. I've gotten way better at refraining from asking too many questions. I guess practice makes perfect and when I fail, just try again.
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Old 08-10-2018, 06:30 AM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,564,537 times
Reputation: 19723
Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
OK, so he actually is not being difficult with me. That is cool. I am confused, though, after our last convo. He says he doesn't qualify for Medicaid nursing home. Because he can feed take care of his basic life care. I said what about the bathroom? And he said he could do that w/o assistance if it were remodeled to be larger (can't fit his scooter in there) and I said but it isn't, so you can't. He says the fact that he could means he doesn't qualify. It's sort of a good point.
So now we can forget about the rest of the initial inquiry. Isn't this kind of a good point? If someone only would need care because they can't afford the implements to accommodate their disability?
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Old 08-10-2018, 12:25 PM
 
687 posts, read 637,479 times
Reputation: 1490
Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
So now we can forget about the rest of the initial inquiry. Isn't this kind of a good point? If someone only would need care because they can't afford the implements to accommodate their disability?
Wouldn't it be great if they could get the financial help to afford those implements?
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Old 08-10-2018, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,153,902 times
Reputation: 51118
I am so sorry.

I have read a number of your posts about your brother. Is it possible that you just need to step away and not contact or interact with your brother to keep your own mental health? As long as your dad & brother are unable to cheat you out of your inheritance from your mother (your half of the house) maybe you should just "let it go". Allow dad to probate or not probate the will. After all, the executor will be one getting into trouble if he misses deadlines not you.
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