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So, he wants all of the house? That is why he insists on doing this? How would he get 'screwed' out of his share by siblings?
I think we're getting down to the nitty-gritty, now.
OP, who's the executor of the will? Mom has a will; she must have named someone as executor. And how good a relationship does your husband have, with whoever it is?
If I was in OP's situation and my DH told me I should leave if I didn't like it I would be right out the door. Odds are good her DH would be begging her to come back before very long when he and SIL had to fill her shoes.
Her father is getting up there. I think she needs to tell her DH that she needs to spend a little one on one time with him before it is too late. It doesn't have to be on Xmas, it can be a week or two before.
As for the inheritance.......if his siblings are the type to try to screw him out of his share........ They will do it whether he is living in the house or not. And if his Mother isn't at death's door, she may live for many more years depending on the type and progression of her dementia.
If I was in OP's situation and my DH told me I should leave if I didn't like it I would be right out the door. Odds are good her DH would be begging her to come back before very long when he and SIL had to fill her shoes.
Her father is getting up there. I think she needs to tell her DH that she needs to spend a little one on one time with him before it is too late. It doesn't have to be on Xmas, it can be a week or two before.
As for the inheritance.......if his siblings are the type to try to screw him out of his share........ They will do it whether he is living in the house or not. And if his Mother isn't at death's door, she may live for many more years depending on the type and progression of her dementia.
That would be the wrong reason to beg her to come back. If she were to move out, he should be begging her to come back for the sake of the marriage, for his love for her, not because she's a self-sacrificing caregiver to the point of endangering her own health. This guy's priorities are topsy-turvy. I would hope, that if she left, he'd realized he'd screwed up majorly, and would be apologizing profusely, promising her that they'll move away together. Far away, out of the reach of family drama.
And yes, he needs to arrange for care of his parent, while she cares for HER parent.
That would be the wrong reason to beg her to come back. If she were to move out, he should be begging her to come back for the sake of the marriage, for his love for her, not because she's a self-sacrificing caregiver to the point of endangering her own health. This guy's priorities are topsy-turvy. I would hope, that if she left, he'd realized he'd screwed up majorly, and would be apologizing profusely, promising her that they'll move away together. Far away, out of the reach of family drama.
And yes, he needs to arrange for care of his parent, while she cares for HER parent.
He's 16 years into his investment. He isn't going to leave it now.
If your husband remains in the home, medicaid may not be able to take it.
Once he moves, who-ever is in the home might get to stay
Much of this depends upon your states medicaid laws
But she could end up using up all of her money
Then after her death, they may come for the home
Generally if it is a hardship to where a child is poor and living there at her time of death playing care-giver, then medicaid cannot seize the house. At least in California but there's been new laws in the last 5-6 yrs since we did hospice and I was an executor of his estate.
I also feel I am doing most of the work when it comes to the MIL than my husband is doing. My SIL does it in the afternoon from her nap, then we do it at night cause SIL goes to school. SIL is always in my business. I have no privacy and hubby won’t say anything because that is her and she’s an alien.
If I get mad, then he tells me to leave and move somewhere else.
My husband doesn't DARE say that to me because he knows I WILL. You know how he knows? Because I've already left him once. And I'll do it again if he goes back to being a butthead.
Your husband tells you to leave because he knows you won't. Time to change your game. Start packing. As long as you stay in that situation, you allow them all to abuse you.
Time to get down a suitcase and start filling it.
You don't want to. I know. It's easier not to. And you feel guilty about running out on your MIL. But what do you think will change when your MIL dies? Sis will still be there riding roughshod over you and your husband will allow it.
My husband doesn't DARE say that to me because he knows I WILL. You know how he knows? Because I've already left him once. And I'll do it again if he goes back to being a butthead.
Your husband tells you to leave because he knows you won't. Time to change your game. Start packing. As long as you stay in that situation, you allow them all to abuse you.
Time to get down a suitcase and start filling it.
You don't want to. I know. It's easier not to. And you feel guilty about running out on your MIL. But what do you think will change when your MIL dies? Sis will still be there riding roughshod over you and your husband will allow it.
My husband doesn't DARE say that to me because he knows I WILL. You know how he knows? Because I've already left him once. And I'll do it again if he goes back to being a butthead.
Your husband tells you to leave because he knows you won't. Time to change your game. Start packing. As long as you stay in that situation, you allow them all to abuse you.
Time to get down a suitcase and start filling it.
You don't want to. I know. It's easier not to. And you feel guilty about running out on your MIL. But what do you think will change when your MIL dies? Sis will still be there riding roughshod over you and your husband will allow it.
MIL sounds like one tough cookie. Me personally, I'd have moved out 15 years ago.
ditto ...
And frankly I feel sorry for those poor kids being yanked out of school like that for this reason.
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