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Old 12-09-2018, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,639 posts, read 60,168,407 times
Reputation: 100961

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
Yep. Guardianship is big legal fees and you can assume a lot of legal liability. It’s also a paperwork nightmare. You want to avoid that. Imagine a belligerent person with dementia grabbing your car keys. I wouldn’t want to be guardian.

At least in Massachusetts, you can’t authorize any treatment plan. There is a state law about Rx for the elderly. Too many nursing homes were fogging patients. My mother is in Memory Care. An Ativan anti-anxiety Rx is challenging. I had to stick with RI and CT where my POA and health care POA are adequate. I’m not sure any other states have law like that.
Well, clarify, I do have a medical POA as well, but have never had to use it because various entities have told me that the general durable POA I have covers everything.

To be clear, it's VERY evident that my mom has debilitating dementia, so maybe that makes things easier, who knows? I mean, someone has to make medical decisions for her.
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Old 12-09-2018, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 24,913,792 times
Reputation: 50788
I’d get the letter declaring him in ompetent, and guard it with my life. MKe copies if you hVd to, but keep the original close.

See an attorney. You need legsl guidance specific to your state. Or, call a social worker who works for the State Dept. of Aging or its equivalent in your town. You can get good advice there as well,
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Old 12-09-2018, 11:19 AM
 
15 posts, read 15,649 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Do NOT file for guardianship if the POA will work instead - it's a pain in the arse and costs money you probably don't need to spend.

You should be able to authorize ANY treatment plan for him at any facility with the POA and the letter of mental incapacity. Sounds like he needs to be in a memory care center and on some medications to tone down that aggression/anxiety.

Thanks, I appreciate that advice friend!,
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Old 12-09-2018, 11:20 AM
 
15 posts, read 15,649 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I’d get the letter declaring him in ompetent, and guard it with my life. MKe copies if you hVd to, but keep the original close.

See an attorney. You need legsl guidance specific to your state. Or, call a social worker who works for the State Dept. of Aging or its equivalent in your town. You can get good advice there as well,
Thks and yes I plan on keeping that letter close!!
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Old 12-09-2018, 11:25 AM
 
15 posts, read 15,649 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
Yep. Guardianship is big legal fees and you can assume a lot of legal liability. It’s also a paperwork nightmare. You want to avoid that. Imagine a belligerent person with dementia grabbing your car keys. I wouldn’t want to be guardian.

At least in Massachusetts, you can’t authorize any treatment plan. There is a state law about Rx for the elderly. Too many nursing homes were fogging patients. My mother is in Memory Care. An Ativan anti-anxiety Rx is challenging. I had to stick with RI and CT where my POA and health care POA are adequate. I’m not sure any other states have law like that.
OMG!! The u so much for that info!! I have a very in depth durable POA and will get the “incompetence†letter from the psychiatrist this Monday and use those instead of seeking guardianship. My DAd has been DX w/dementia and is very aggressive and highly agitated easily.
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Old 12-09-2018, 11:29 AM
 
15 posts, read 15,649 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Do NOT file for guardianship if the POA will work instead - it's a pain in the arse and costs money you probably don't need to spend.

You should be able to authorize ANY treatment plan for him at any facility with the POA and the letter of mental incapacity. Sounds like he needs to be in a memory care center and on some medications to tone down that aggression/anxiety.
Yes, he is constantly threatening lawsuits, saying that he has many lawyers. And he is very aggressive physically and threatens harm
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Old 12-09-2018, 02:13 PM
 
Location: I gave up being nice for Lent.
2,500 posts, read 6,293,332 times
Reputation: 5255
You have received lots of good advice. I would just like to add always sign all paperwork with Dads name and you as POA. Your signature should read something like Dads Name by Kkewl Name power of attorney. NEVER sign your name alone. Especially if money or responsibility is involved. The nursing home tried to bill me for my Moms stay after she passed away. I was able to point out that I signed as POA for my Mom. So she and not me was responsible for all those bills.
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Old 12-09-2018, 02:26 PM
 
15 posts, read 15,649 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecilia_Rose View Post
You have received lots of good advice. I would just like to add always sign all paperwork with Dads name and you as POA. Your signature should read something like Dads Name by Kkewl Name power of attorney. NEVER sign your name alone. Especially if money or responsibility is involved. The nursing home tried to bill me for my Moms stay after she passed away. I was able to point out that I signed as POA for my Mom. So she and not me was responsible for all those bills.
Wow, that is very very valuable information that you just shared, thank you. Doing it that way will allow me to use his money to pay for anything done on his behalf. At least, this is what I am assuming.
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Old 12-09-2018, 06:36 PM
 
Location: I gave up being nice for Lent.
2,500 posts, read 6,293,332 times
Reputation: 5255
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kkewl View Post
Wow, that is very very valuable information that you just shared, thank you. Doing it that way will allow me to use his money to pay for anything done on his behalf. At least, this is what I am assuming.
Yes the way the attorney explained it to me was that you are fine if you use their money for their benefit only. Make sure that its totally for their benefit though. Where you can have trouble is if you use some for someone else. Even if its a gift. Something about Medicare look back rules. If he has to do a spend down they will come looking for that money.
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Old 12-09-2018, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 24,913,792 times
Reputation: 50788
I had forgotten that I signed as POA when I signed checks for mom’s expenses.

I really want you to talk to someone local who can give you specific guidance.
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