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This reminds me of my brother when I told him that Mom's days were numbered. Boy, he figured out a way to come to Texas then! (He's about 6 hours drive from here but in another state.) Apparently he thought Mom would die, and within a few days or weeks he'd get a lot of money. I believe, based on conversations with some of the other people involved, that he told them he was about to "come into a lot of money" and would help them buy a house, pay his share, fix their truck, fill in the blank.
Well, Mom was tough and the weeks dragged on. One of his friends, who he was playing, kept calling me, asking about my mom's health. Well, she hadn't ever been very concerned about it in the past. Finally I just told her, "Look, Mom is under hospice care but it could be weeks or months before she passes away, and then the estate will take around 9 months to a year or so to settle, so there's simply no money coming my brother's way anytime soon."
Wow, within a couple of weeks, all his friends had kicked him to the curb. I knew that news getting out would separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak.
People who are addicts, con artists, etc. aren't usually interested in the long game. They want in, get the money, get out.
I'm sure that these three losers that are all shacked up with Brother now are getting frustrated. They are supposedly taking care of him - and getting no big payout.
I can't believe he's so crazy as to think that he should give them money and a house in their name and then they'll take care of him. Not to mention that even if Bob did manage to get a down payment, he probably has terrible credit and most likely wouldn't qualify for a loan, and if he did SOMEHOW, he'd almost surely default on the payments and then that money would all just be gone. But it's just going to be gone anyway.
This behavior right here is enough to indicate that Brother should be deemed legally mentally incapacitated.
>>Damned if they do and damned if they don't. You said Dad should take a lot of money away from my stepmom to care for him. Then you say my mother did too much. You're kinda all over the place. Every response I give prompts another criticism. That is some dysfunction I do not need.<<<
Stop making things up. I never said your mother did too much nor did I say your father should take A LOT of money away from your stepmom to help with your brother's care.
Yes there is a new plan. Bob has some house he wants to buy. Not using any of his money of course. My brother's (and mine if they can get it) will be the down payment. Has to go in Bob's name because of Medicaid. Supposedly they are going to take care of him but that is nonsense. They have no use for him after that.
I called the police to to a welfare check last night. They said Bob is well known to them. I explained my concerns about drugs and stealing houses and exploitation of a disabled person. He said he would get with a couple other departments, one being the drug unit.
Oh my, now you have the police involved. They will not be your friend and they will not help you make your brother do what you want. This will now end worse than you can even imagine. I just hope it doesn't end with your brother in jail.
This reminds me of my brother when I told him that Mom's days were numbered. Boy, he figured out a way to come to Texas then! (He's about 6 hours drive from here but in another state.) Apparently he thought Mom would die, and within a few days or weeks he'd get a lot of money. I believe, based on conversations with some of the other people involved, that he told them he was about to "come into a lot of money" and would help them buy a house, pay his share, fix their truck, fill in the blank.
Well, Mom was tough and the weeks dragged on. One of his friends, who he was playing, kept calling me, asking about my mom's health. Well, she hadn't ever been very concerned about it in the past. Finally I just told her, "Look, Mom is under hospice care but it could be weeks or months before she passes away, and then the estate will take around 9 months to a year or so to settle, so there's simply no money coming my brother's way anytime soon."
Wow, within a couple of weeks, all his friends had kicked him to the curb. I knew that news getting out would separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak.
People who are addicts, con artists, etc. aren't usually interested in the long game. They want in, get the money, get out.
I'm sure that these three losers that are all shacked up with Brother now are getting frustrated. They are supposedly taking care of him - and getting no big payout.
I can't believe he's so crazy as to think that he should give them money and a house in their name and then they'll take care of him. Not to mention that even if Bob did manage to get a down payment, he probably has terrible credit and most likely wouldn't qualify for a loan, and if he did SOMEHOW, he'd almost surely default on the payments and then that money would all just be gone. But it's just going to be gone anyway.
This behavior right here is enough to indicate that Brother should be deemed legally mentally incapacitated.
Maybe they think bros social security or what other income he has, will pay the mortgage & utility bills, so thye will probably keep him around as long as he has cash coming in. I agee with the comment that Bob probably has bad credit & wouldn't qualify for a loan.
I'm not trying to be a control freak. When my brother told me that he wanted to sell to go rent a larger house I was thinking that is crazy, but ok. All I said was 'OK'. My Aunt then had a conversation with him and said that no, it isn't ok. That is not what they are doing. They are stealing the house. (The proceeds of it) to buy a new house for BOB, it will be in HIS name, and so why would they keep my brother around after that? He's of no use to them anymore.
As another poster mentioned, it's hard to believe they told you their intention was to steal the house. You have no idea what they intend to do much less what they will actually do.
Subconsciously he wants to die. Seriously you can’t change him. Do what you can to close the estate/ sell the house and disengage. And stop complaining/arguing with people who are trying to help you. You are a big part of the problem if you speak to him the way you are posting on this thread. Just my humble opinion.
That is what my Aunt said too. I am trying, I am climbing to that place where I let go of all of it but sometimes forward movement has set-backs.
I'm trying to work my way out of a mine field. That is how it feels anyway. I go one direction, boom, I go another, also boom.
They didn't say it to me. They said it in front of my Aunt. You never heard of stupid criminals? Junkies are not very savvy.
Bob is a junkie. The police said he is well known to them for narcotics. I can't say his daughter and this new woman are, but the last three were junkies. One of them tried to overdose in the house. Home health care went to her door to tell her how to do something regarding my brother's care and she screamed at them and caused a scene and they fired my brother as a client.
If this daughter and the new woman aren't junkies, they are still deadbeats. They aren't doing enough to even earn room and board for three people, much less get paid on top of it.
Anyway, my Aunt was trying to explain this to my brother. 'You need to do some accounting. Add up room and food and utilities and so forth for 3 people. Then add up what they do for you at an appropriate rate' and so forth.
He became angry and said THEY NEED MONEY! She said they were demanding it NOW. NOW or he goes into nursing home.
Why the rush? Seems to me because they are not really interested in this arrangement, they just want the money. They are not interested in a long con. A few months and Bob has had enough and wants what he came for.
So now your aunt is telling your brother exactly what he should and shouldn't do. Why would you two think that would be effective? Of course he got defensive and angry! You and your aunt have no idea what's really going on, nor do you know, or even want to know, about your brother's relationship with Bob and their plans for the future.
You can't run this circus and neither can your aunt. The two of you haven't helped to improve anything in your brother's life. Have you offered to help your brother find a new place to live, one that is handicapped accessible, and to get him health care in his own home without going to a nursing home? Or are you in agreement with Bob, assuming you actually know Bob has threatened your brother with a nursing home? Is your end goal to get your brother into a nursing home and that will somehow prove that you are 'right'? You are nothing if not a right fighter. I hope that makes you happy but it sure doesn't sound like it does.
>>If he asks me again about Bob and all of this I am going to say I don't know. Call Aunts. Call sister. Talk to your wife. They all know. I'm not the command center anymore. And he doesn't listen anyway. Why waste my breath anymore.<<<
YIPPEEEE, finally. I hope you stick to it, walk away, and stop spending your time trying to fix your brother. Let him do what he wants because he will anyway. Your input has never mattered, not in all the decades you have tried to control him. It's high time you give that up! He's not your child, you are not responsible for his choices. He has made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want you in his life. Sell the house, send him a check for his half, and go enjoy your life. Please.
>>>I didn't even answer when the caseworker called me back because what am I going to say? I updated them already. Brow-beat her?<<<
You called the caseworker and when she called you back you wouldn't take her call? That's very strange. Why did you call her if you didn't want to speak with her? How would you know what she had to say?
As another poster mentioned, it's hard to believe they told you their intention was to steal the house. You have no idea what they intend to do much less what they will actually do.
They didn't tell me. They told my Aunt. In elaborate detail. She has kept track of each plan as they have changed and only recently shared this with me. As in night before last and then other Aunt who had been holding back a lot of this detail expanded upon it.
He's looking for like an owner finance situation. They put however much they get from brother down. And then make payments. From what, I don't know. They don't seem to have any money or want to spend their own.
But that is the plan and maybe the rush is the latest house they really want.
I mentioned my Aunt is smart and strategic. The one that they tell everything to. I and other Aunt can't keep our mouths shut to be strategic. We would REACT to this. Other Aunt has been visiting consistently and just sits around casually with them. Cutting up. Making friends with all of them. I managed to pull that off exactly one time for three hours when I first met Bob, got his number, and couldn't pretend anymore, but she can pretend for a long time. However long it takes.
So she did this for all of the time they have been over there and doesn't have a negative reaction, so they keep talking. She gives input from her realtor experience. She doesn't criticize or say 'That isn't right' or any of that. She said she did mention that half of the house is mine and they ignored that and kept babbling about title company friends who will do things on the low or whatever.
She did this until she had all of the information she needed, witnessed the threats, got screamed at, and sounded the alarm to the rest of us.
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