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Im here for a rant. I posted earlier - "my two babies are fighting" thread and first of all would like to thank everyone for their input. Have bought feliway and some calming spray and waiting for it to arrive by post.
Having my two babies fight i was directed to turn for help to animal behaviorist by my vet clinic as they couldnt help me.
So, as advised, i contacted the person, unfortunately the behaviorist was not available at the time so had to leave a message to her secretary. I could not afford the 180 euro fee she was charging (probably about 250 dollars) so asked wether they could help me or advise me over the phone. The answer i got was leave us your phone number and we'll see what we can do. Gave them my number thinking that i will never get a call back anyway, and forgot all about it.
Guess what, two days later i receive a call from them! And their advise follows... telling me to get rid of one cat as the fights will never finish! How can they say that without seeing whats going on? I felt they were very cold blooded and unsensitive :-( im still at square one, but as soon as i get my package ill try feliway plug in and the herbal spray i got.
The mother cat started to pee all over the place as well, so i have an appointment with vet as well now to check wether her kidneys are in order. Although it could be behavioral as she actually stopped peeing into her litter box.
Jurate, I have two separate litters from the same Queen. Maybe my experience will help you with your situation. I also have two sisters from the same litter as well, from a different Queen.
First. Your Queen's natural instinct is coming to the surface, and that is pushing the sibling out of the nest. Yours is not an easy situation, not at all. I am not sure at this point if your Queen will ever get beyond her instinctual need to act out because what is occurring is going against "normal" for her.
Through my own personal experience, I have become a feline behaviorist so to speak. I have become very proficient in observing the interactions between these siblings, and figuring out what is happening, and how to handle it. I can tell you, with a great deal of love and persistence, and discipline on your part, feline instincts can be overcome. I will tell you straight out, it is far from an easy thing to do, and there will always be setbacks, where the cats in question will revert back to instinctual behavior.
When things get too out of hand, I must separate the cats who are interacting in a very negative manner. I can only speak about siblings from the same litter, but I am hoping you can apply some of my techniques to help in your situation.
I work with the tone of my voice....firm yet very loving.....and constantly saying to my cats, that we all love one another in this house, and that fighting will not be tolerated. I speak to them as though they understand my words. Yes, I feel like a broken record at times, for my words are spoken over and over and over again. I also work with a water bottle and sound by clapping my hands loudly/or making a loud hissing noise, and saying NO whenever I see the fighting syndrome beginning. I follow that up immediately by saying in a very soft and loving voice....good girl, good boy...over and over again until they settle down, I love you, I love you.....to whom it is who is about to get nasty. Positive reinforcement far outweighs negative reinforcement.
Making sure I give both cats equal time in my attention and love, I reinforce the fact that they are secure and loved, and nothing is going to change that. And in doing this, I am reinforcing the fact that both of my cats are staying here, that this and only this is their permanent home. It is a process, and a long one. Instincts are by far the hardest to change in an animal for they are hard wired to act in a certain manner in a certain situation. But with persistence, patience, discipline, love, and consistency, and I stress consistency here, it can be done.
I would if I were you, make 2 homes within your home for each cat. Also set each cat up with a separate kitty litter, water dish, blankets/afghans, toys, scratching post and anything else that has special meaning to each cat. You need to spend time with each of them separately and this is going to be time consuming on your part. Giving each cat something, such as an old tee shirt of yours that you have worn that has your scent on it, and another something with the opposite cat's scent on it, will help greatly. Keep both environments quiet as possible. Soothing music helps. But, at the same time, not too dull or your cats will become bored.
If separation is not possible, you are going to have to work constantly to reinforce that the behavior exhibited by the Queen is not acceptable. That in a nut shell, spells loving discipline. If you work or go out of your home often, you will have to separate the two cats in your absence. You will have to use a water bottle (but NEVER squirt directly in the face!), voice commands, being aware of the tone of your voice (firm, no-nonsense, but loving), strong eye contact communicating the behavior just exhibited is NOT tolerated, hand commands with clapping and movement in such a way that says NO, and above all you must love your two cats to the nth degree.
And as for your question, yes, some animal behaviorists are effective. But, you can become one yourself, IF you are willing to put the time, effort, and research into it. All the way around, yours is not an easy path, and I truly and sincerely wish you the very best.
One other observation I have made. There was a Queen from the barn next door who had her second litter. She had a total of four kittens. When it came to be about 6 months after she gave birth, there was one and only male left in the nest. Queen did everything she could to kick him out. She was downright nasty, hissing, hitting, biting his ears, attacking him. But, he insisted on staying. She never relented her attempt to kick him out, right up until her death.
I now have that said cat in my home, who is today 4 years old. And in getting to know him, I have come to realize he is "neurologically different", seemingly to have stayed brain-wise in kittenhood. This situation is NOT the normal, BUT I wanted you to read about this situation, and then apply the knowledge here to your situation. Queens can be absolutely ferocious in getting their kittens ousted from the nest.
So, that being said, you may have to resort in finding either the Queen or the kitten a new home. A Mother's instincts are the most powerful to deal with. Just keep that in mind.......
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