Cats attaching to one person more than other (kittens, male, siamese)

[STLCardsBlues1989]

We have six cats. Four of them were kittens from a stray litter and there's the mother. The other is in housecat, who was a stray kitten we found. He is three, two of the kittens are two years old, two are one year old, and there's the mother of the one year old cats.

The kittens (both litters) are attached to me more than anyone else. That makes sense I was the person they knew growing up. The younger litter we didn't find until they were 2 months old. The male is still a bit skittish. They won't come to anyone really except for me.

The inside cats are familiar with all of the family, but they hide when company comes over. The outside cats, with the exception of momma, are shy around other people. The male won't really let anyone other than me pet him.

The ones outside are very sweet cats, but they're not all that friendly to other people. Seeing as I am keeping them, that is not really a problem. Momma came around while she was pregnant, but I didn't have time to get her fixed before she gave birth. After she gave birth I didn't see the kittens until they showed up 2 months later.

Is it much harder for cats to form attachments as adults? I know sometimes they do, as adult cats get adopted out all the time. Obviously kittens are easier to socialize. Is that why they are more often adopted out or is it just because people want kittens?

Just wondering your opinion on this. The 2009 litter we had was at first more attached to me than anybody, but they've really attached to the family as well. I think being inside helped that. The 2010 litter was pretty attached to me. We gave two of the males away and one walked three miles to come back. He's still here. I was kind of afraid of that, because they didn't really have the opportunity to get used to people in general.

My cats are okay the way they are. The three outside aren't going anywhere. I don't need to give them away. I do wonder if they will ever really bond with people other than myself, especially the Tom. Momma and the male do not like being held. Tilly (the spayed female kitten, momma is spayed, too) does not mind being held. The 2009 litter we had (which we still have two females from) was much more cuddly, perhaps because I found them earlier. Their mother was feral, though. This mother is very much tame.

If you are socializing kittens, is it a good idea to get them around a bunch of people? Hopefully I will not have to socialize any more kittens, but I'm just wondering. Are some cats also just "one person cats."

[Garden of Eden]

STL, knowing your history as I think I do, you deal mostly with wild cats. Wild cats, for the most part, are extremely skittish, and even if you brought them up, they still walk to a beat all their own. It is their nature. This is who they are, generations of freedom flowing through their blood.

No, it is not easy for these cats to be socialized. And when you do try, they will remain distant. When someone comes over to my house for example, that person cannot believe I have "how many?" in my home because they just disappear. I personally don't think they ever will get over their instinctive "fear" of people. I think it is as close to them as their own heartbeat is.

So in all your questions, regarding to socialize your cats, you have to take into consideration their heritage. These are not cats who have "house cat" in their genetic makeup.

It also depends upon the unique personality of the cat itself. I have some wild cats who snuggle with me when I sleep, and then for the rest of the day, I don't see them. I have others, who when approached by me, the only human they trust, they will deliberately turn tail and run, acting scared. Yes, I have known them for years, but I am referring to instinct being stronger then the present conditions. I have one who I am only allowed to touch in one special area of the house. I have others who have attained an ultimate trust in me, and when I do approach them, they just look up at me and smile as if to say, "Hi, Mom!". That just didn't "happen". That trust was created by me showing that beautiful cat consistent loving treatment over the years. And, yes, in some cats, it does pay off.

Personally, I prefer these cats to "tame" house cats, and I deliberately put tame in quotation marks, because in all seriousness, what cat is truly tame? I like my wild cats, for they are just that, wild, a part of Nature that has honored me greatly by allowing me to care for them. I don't impinge upon them, I don't enforce upon them, any type of rigidness or type of domestication. Oh, yes, I do have my rules, and these cats, being so smart, know these rules, yet these rules do not change them into another type of cat.

The wildness of these cats connects deeply to a part of me that is wild, that no one has ever been able to suppress or conquer. I don't think your cats will ever be able to be socialized as the norm due to who they are. You have to admit, if these cats keep coming to you, that you too, have a deep connection to the "wildness" in them, that part that beats in perfect rhythm of the invisible flow of the All That Is.

[foxywench]

my experience with cats has always been that they tend to pick one, or a couple of people as theirs and everyone else is either ignored or at the very most a take it or leave it kind of situation.

this goes for our cats through my life...
our siamese, merlin, loved everyone in the family but was some posessed demon with strangers, he was a wedgehead siam, and a true attack cat.
our next cat lucky, a black dsh, only liked women didnt matter if he knew them or not.if you were female he loved you
then came puss puss, who ONLY likes my mum and my sister...thogh he has mellowed since we started letting him out...
and tempi, who while she doesnt "dislike" other people, she pretty much ignores anyone but me about 90% of the time.

even when i worked with big cats at the zoo (2 cheetah, a lion and, 2 bobcats) they each had their prefered keeper and would let you know if they wernt in the mood to put up with someone other than their person in thier territory...

but ive also known cats (particularly sphynx and rex's) that love pretty much everyone...

so i think its 1 part being a cat, 1 part primary breed, 1 part socilization as a kitten (as im sure it helps) and 1 part random lol

[STLCardsBlues1989]

Actually, Runt and Turtle's mother was feral, but they don't seem to mind being housecats. Their feral mother didn't trust anybody, but she would allow me to feed them and take care of them. Once I was done she would feed them as well. The kittens were raised in the addition to our shed. The floor was raised. One day I was in the room part above the floor feeding and cleaning the kittens (they had a minor eye/respiratory infection, which we cured with antibiotics). The dogs came to see me. Unbeknownst to me, momma cat was under the floor, right beneath me. Maddie got too close and momma took off like a shot. Fortunately Maddie was fast enough to get away. Anyway, whenever I would get done, momma would come nurse them. If I came back and she saw me she would start to get up. We eventually trapped her and got her spayed (while she was pregnant again). The vet tried to pet her and she tried to bite him. She eventually disappeared when the new mother came in. The new momma smacked her around a bit. I hope the old momma is okay. I'm really not sure what happened to her. She didn't trust any people, but she trusted me somewhat.

However, Runt and Turtle are very tame, as are their brothers. I found them a few weeks in, though, right after they started to walk. So I think I sort of became momma to them. That said, they did learn to bond with my family, especially once they became housecats. Runt has escaped a couple of times, but she always comes back in. She's terrified of the outside. Momma cat (the current one) also chases her, because she is very territorial. Runt and Turtle have pretty much settled into housecat life. They still don't like strangers.

The 2010 Momma cat must have been owned at some point. She is very sweet. She doesn't like to be picked up, though. I didn't find her kittens until they were two months along. Even the first day I saw them, though, they didn't fight much. Only one ever bit me, and he grew up to be a bit tamer. He was hit by a car a couple of months ago. This litter was fairly easy to tame, at least to the point of me being able to pet them. I think it helped that their mother was so tame. Even now, they mostly trust me, moreso than anybody else.

We tried turning Tilly into a housecat after she was spayed, but she would not have it, for a variety of reasons. Her mother and brother were still outside. Her mother could never be brought in, as she is too territorial. She and Mr. Fuzzy would be in a fight in 10 seconds. Tilly did okay in the house, but we did have a peeing issue and Runt pretty much stalked her and attacked her. Soon Tilly reciprocated. It was obvious they would just not get along. Even though outside is more of a danger, Tilly was not happy inside.

With the first litter, I think it might be nurture over nature, because the first litter's mother was completely feral, and they seem happy as housecats. But these kittens were found young. The 2010 Momma cat was completely tame and I didn't find her kittens until 2 months after they were born, but if I could catch them they usually didn't resist much. They didn't act like feral kittens. Some of them were easier to tame than others.

Mr. Fuzzy seems happy as a housecat, though he does like to look out the window and cry sometimes. He showed up as a kitten and he ran in everytime we opened the door. He became a neutered indoor cat. He joins me in bed at night and he is probably the most affectionate of the cats. I don't know what his genes are like. He is the most sociable of the cats, especially with my parents. He also hides when visitors come along.

My sister has a ragamuffin (a ragdoll that is not Siamese). He doesn't usually mind strangers, but ragdolls are bred to have that attitude.

The 2010 kittens have gotten a bit more tame over time, but mostly just toward me. Tilly will sometimes let others pet her. Momma will. The Tabby always runs. Even I often can't approach him. I have to wait for him to come to me. I can hold him, but he squirms. Momma I can't hold at all. Tilly I can hold, but she squirms a bit, too. That male tabby has a very loud purr, about as loud as my inside male's. The male tabby won't purr for just anyone, though.

On a side note, the neighbor up the street has a cat named "smokey." He looks exactly like the 2009 momma cat, except that he is tame. I've seen the neighbor pet him and stuff. I do wonder if he is from the same litter, but I do not know why he would tame and his sister would be feral. So they may not be related.

[=^..^=]

We have the three now:





The brown one, Phaedra, favors my husband. She's a real daddy's girl but does come to me for petting and attention a few times a day. The silver one, Zephyr, seems to have no favorite. The cream one, Zebulon, is a real momma's boy. He'll go to my husband for petting maybe once a week. He seems to ignore my husband most of the time. He tucks me into bed each night purring and wanting petting and chin rubs, after about 20 minutes, he leaves for his bed on the cat condo.

[J-CityRelo]

Originally Posted by STLCardsBlues1989

On a side note, the neighbor up the street has a cat named "smokey." He looks exactly like the 2009 momma cat, except that he is tame. I've seen the neighbor pet him and stuff. I do wonder if he is from the same litter, but I do not know why he would tame and his sister would be feral. So they may not be related.

It's much easier to "tame" one feral kitten when it's just you and that kitten than you and a whole litter. Our Cooper was feral when we first adopted him but after 2 days of hissing, growling and hiding he started to let me hold him. And now he is very affectionate. He always needs to be near me, sleeps with me and follows me around. It takes him a bit to warm up to strangers, but when we go on vacation he will accept any replacement for us! He is starved () for attention!

But we had feral foster kittens who were brothers. They didn't like being held, and only tolerated being petted sometimes. The most they would do is occasionally fall asleep in our laps when we were sitting on the couch. But if they woke up and realized where they were, they moved to another spot! I think if there's more than 1 kitten, they can rely on each other and aren't as quick to warm up to people. Even after a month of fostering them, I still couldn't pick them up or love on them, really.

[tarragon]

It's interesting reading what you folks have to say about feral kittens. I grew up with never referring to them as feral but as wild kittens!! It is brining back memories of being a kid and going to a friend's barn and trying to find the kittens in the hayloft and trying to tame them.

[no kudzu]

one of our ragdolls, Oscar, is too affectionate. I almost trip over him every day as he is underfoot. His bubba, Langley is affectionate in the evenings with a lap to sit in when we watch TV but he runs and hides when anybody comes over while Oscar runs to the door to see who it is. they are from the same parents, same litter.

I've had l person cats so I know what you mean. I think they just pick out somebody they want and that is that. Pumpkin was adult Petsmart adoption and he latched onto my husband from the cage and the rest is history. We weren't even looking for a cat but Pumpkin was certainly looking for a person and of course, cats always have their way.

[J-CityRelo]

I wish that my cats would be more affectionate with my SO. I feel bad. I think it's just that my SO is louder when he walks around the house and generally his movements are bigger... it's kind of hard to explain. Even when he sneezes, it's louder than I would be and they run away. But they were both raised with both of us. I think I just tend to give them more attention so they are closer to me, but I wish they would go to him more. Sometimes he calls them or picks them up and puts them on his lap but then they run away. I'm not sure how to encourage them to follow him around and sleep with him. It's not like I taught them to sleep with me, they just do it!

[no kudzu]

If he ignores them or says outloud ' I REALLY HATE CATS" then they will be all over him. Also make sure he is wearing a black suit when he says that.