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In addition to all the good suggestions above, I think he should also see a vet. Maybe he has chronic ear infections or bad teeth, and associates touch with pain.
update. It's ironic I posted our issue with Simmy a few days ago after months of concern, because we had a breakthrough with Simmy. Yesterday, he came up to my foot and rubbed against it while I was sitting in a chair. I petted him with my foot for over a minute as he rubbed his head and body against it again and again. This was the first time he has made physical contact with one of us on his own in three months.
It seems those of you who theorized he had hand abuse issues were right. Having a hand shy foster cat was a first for us in over two dozen cat fosters, though not an uncommon issue with our foster dogs. Foot petting is a start. Hopefully, with time he will be adoptable which is our goal for all our fosters.
Thank you again, cat forum people. Your input really helped us understand what was happening and what course to take with our Simmy.
I'm really glad to hear this. And it says something about you, that after 2 years in other foster homes, you were the one that could start getting through to him. Give yourself a big pat on the back.
I agree with the others to let him be. Our Lola was an adult stray who hung around our home. When we realized that she was a stray, we fed her and tried to bring her indoors; however, it took many months before we could get her inside. She did not like to be held or petted. We had her for 8 years before she died of cancer, but she never let us hold her. She would tolerate brushing if it was with a certain brush and she wanted us to rub her when she ate. Lola never bothered anyone, never dug her claws into the furniture, and only slept on the living room sofa because we rarely use that room. During the last few years, sometimes she would sit in the family room with us but never on the furniture. She would hiss at anyone other than a family member but never bit them. We realized that Lola had to do things her way and that is probably why she was a stray. If you can, keep your foster--you will not regret it. We miss Lola, even with all of her little idiosyncracies, every day.
It takes a lot of time and patience. There are two neighborhood cats that I feed, and it took two years for them to allow me to touch them. They are very affectionate now, purring and rubbing on me, but they are still quite jumpy and will only let me pet them if they are in the mood (and are located in certain areas; otherwise they act like they don't even know me). I'm actually glad they are that way. It's what keeps them alive.
My Mom had a cat like this, I think that after 5 years, she can pet the cat, and brush her. She considered it a success. Sad to say, cats take a long time to get over being mistreated.
Today, I was over at a person's house, who picked up their cat for me to pet...and the mean lil thang, hissed at me! At least Jasper has NEVER hissed since I have had him. He does not have a mean bone in his body.
update. It's ironic I posted our issue with Simmy a few days ago after months of concern, because we had a breakthrough with Simmy. Yesterday, he came up to my foot and rubbed against it while I was sitting in a chair. I petted him with my foot for over a minute as he rubbed his head and body against it again and again. This was the first time he has made physical contact with one of us on his own in three months.
It seems those of you who theorized he had hand abuse issues were right. Having a hand shy foster cat was a first for us in over two dozen cat fosters, though not an uncommon issue with our foster dogs. Foot petting is a start. Hopefully, with time he will be adoptable which is our goal for all our fosters.
Thank you again, cat forum people. Your input really helped us understand what was happening and what course to take with our Simmy.
Oh that's wonderful! Baby steps baby steps! Lucky Simmy, finally in a home where he will be understood.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
My Mom had a cat like this, I think that after 5 years, she can pet the cat, and brush her. She considered it a success. Sad to say, cats take a long time to get over being mistreated.
Today, I was over at a person's house, who picked up their cat for me to pet...and the mean lil thang, hissed at me! At least Jasper has NEVER hissed since I have had him. He does not have a mean bone in his body.
I blame your friend's judgement, not the cat. Many cats don't like strangers, and especially don't like being forced to greet or be pet by someone they don't know, or even someone they do know, for that matter.
It doesn't mean the cat is 'mean'. It means the cat was being forced to do something he didn't want to do, and hissing was his way of expressing himself. He may have been frightened, or just plain annoyed. I wouldn't want to be picked up and forced to submit to petting I didn't ask for, either, and I would NEVER do that to any of my cats.
My Mom had a cat like this, I think that after 5 years, she can pet the cat, and brush her. She considered it a success. Sad to say, cats take a long time to get over being mistreated.
Today, I was over at a person's house, who picked up their cat for me to pet...and the mean lil thang, hissed at me! At least Jasper has NEVER hissed since I have had him. He does not have a mean bone in his body.
Also, cats will hiss at anything that smells unfamiliar to them, whether it is a person, another cat or even a baby. It's an instinctual defense mechanism, so don't be offended. If you go back again (and your friend does not force the cat into your presence), then the cat might be more receptive to you (b/c it will be more familiar with your smell, although it usually takes a while for them to become really familiar to a new smell).
update. It's ironic I posted our issue with Simmy a few days ago after months of concern, because we had a breakthrough with Simmy. Yesterday, he came up to my foot and rubbed against it while I was sitting in a chair. I petted him with my foot for over a minute as he rubbed his head and body against it again and again. This was the first time he has made physical contact with one of us on his own in three months.
It seems those of you who theorized he had hand abuse issues were right. Having a hand shy foster cat was a first for us in over two dozen cat fosters, though not an uncommon issue with our foster dogs. Foot petting is a start. Hopefully, with time he will be adoptable which is our goal for all our fosters.
Thank you again, cat forum people. Your input really helped us understand what was happening and what course to take with our Simmy.
OH, you have NO idea how happy this is making me right now. I have a HUGE grin on my face as I write these words! Yeah, for you for the break through! Simmy is trusting again and has chosen to begin with the foot, the furthest thing away from the hand. Oh, happy dance!
(((HUGS))) and THANK YOU for your endurance, your patience, and above all, your love that you give to these little ones who have had such a hard life. Now, now Simmy's chances of being adopted have just soared, because now there is understanding and now Simmy is beginning to trust.
It is people like you who are out there fostering the furfaces so many others would give up on who make this world a better place for animals everywhere...thanking you a thousand times for doing what you do would still not be enough to express the gratitude I feel!
YAY for Simmy feeling secure and loved enough to open his heart again, and a HUGE pat on the back to you guys for helping him get to that point !
Quote:
Originally Posted by texan2yankee
update. It's ironic I posted our issue with Simmy a few days ago after months of concern, because we had a breakthrough with Simmy. Yesterday, he came up to my foot and rubbed against it while I was sitting in a chair. I petted him with my foot for over a minute as he rubbed his head and body against it again and again. This was the first time he has made physical contact with one of us on his own in three months.
It seems those of you who theorized he had hand abuse issues were right. Having a hand shy foster cat was a first for us in over two dozen cat fosters, though not an uncommon issue with our foster dogs. Foot petting is a start. Hopefully, with time he will be adoptable which is our goal for all our fosters.
Thank you again, cat forum people. Your input really helped us understand what was happening and what course to take with our Simmy.
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