What to do about an unaffectionate kitty?

[Bhaalspawn]

I have a 13 or 14 year old torby cat (tortoise shell patch tabby), and she was the most aloof unaffectionate critter imaginable for the first couple years of her life after kittenhood. When our older (dominant) tom cat died a couple years back, she suddenly became much more affectionate and now she follows me around everywhere. Whenever I use the computer, she's lays on the desk between the keyboard and the monitor. My wife and I have wondered if our beloved tom cat was oppressing her or being mean to her in some sort of a way.

[catman]

Originally Posted by Wilson513

...I do think that cats should be engaged in order to establish a relationship. This can be done with food and treats, or play, depending on the cat, but as much as I often agree with the catman I think I would take the bull (cat) by the horns so to speak.

I don't think one can force a cat to be affectionate. I just meant that if one's approaches are rebuffed, it might work to ignore the cat. He might find that he misses you, so to speak. Many of them are like small children and hate to be ignored.

Bhaalspawn: I think you are probably right. The other cat was 'dominant', as you said. He may not have actively oppressed the other or been "mean" to her, but it was understood that you belonged to him!

[Bigg Mann]

My 10 yr old Candy female, does not like to be picked up or held. But she does run her paws up and down my legs to get her ears scratched. She also early in morning when I am sleeping slaps the side of bed until I wake up wanting me to hand feed her treats even though they are right in front of her. I guess that is my fault.

Sometimes she will let my wife put her on bed next to me and she will stay for 20 min. and want rubbed all over which is fine with me, but then she jumps down and goes to sleep somewhere else.

Smudge will sleep by me but will not let me hold her. Baby Kitty lets me do about anything with him and runs around house like a little kid. But he will not let me pick him up. Oh Well!!!