Advice about a stray? (smells, food, medicine, litter)

[catfancier]

I have two girl housecats, almost 6 years old. They are sisters and have only had each other. I live in a one-bedroom apartment.

I've become attached to a boy stray, a BIG tuxedo boy, who is not fixed.
He runs to me when I open my door in the morning and comes over when I climb the stairs at night. He's not a true feral, I don't think; but he is wary and skittish at times. I did try to pick him up once to place him in a cardboard box I'd fixed with towels to "show" him a nice bed, and he scratched me and ran off. Then a neighbor and I tried to get him in a carrier and "Boots" scratched that guy and ran off, glaring at us. But he comes back because we mean food and kindness. He will let me pet him and brush him and he'll even flop over on his side and let me brush his tummy.

I dearly want to get him to a vet because his ears are bad...he sometimes has scratched them until they bleed. I'm guessing ear mites, or possibly mange, but the rest of his coat is decent. His hair loss extends to the top of his eyes, and he has lots of little "bumps" on his head under his fur. I can also feel what I think are scars at parts...he is not the "alpha male" among the strays. There is a bully cat I despise but I feed him too if he's there because otherwise he'll fight "my" guy.

So... IF I can get him to a vet and IF he has no bad viruses AND I get his ears fixed and him fixed...am I nuts for trying to figure out how I could blend him into my home?? That other neighbor has said he might take him in but I'm not so sure he really will. When he had said that originally I told him I'd help him with vet bills to get him all fixed up... but he did coax the cat into his place one day, and though the cat walked around (and is already friendly with that guy's indoor/outdoor cat) -- when he slipped out onto the balcony -- he jumped off!! (Second floor) He could've been badly hurt but he appears ok. I live on the second floor too...so clearly I could never trust him out there, as I do my girls when I'm there and watching them.

How would I even begin to go about "introducing" them? I work a long day and I hate the idea that I'd have to shut him up in the bathroom all day and then monitor the inevitable fights....

All thoughts welcome. I find I think about him a lot. I fixed him another box around the original box so it would have a little coverage...but the Bully Cat has taken that over too! If I can get Boots taken care of I'm going to look into the rescue groups who might get the Bully fixed so he's not such a snot with the other strays....

It's so heartbreaking, these stray kitties!

[greg42]

Not necessarily nuts to try to figure out how to blend him into your home. When it gets to the intro point, it will probably take time and small steps, a way to keep them separate for weeks or even months.

But clearly what you need first is a way to get him to the vet and neutered. And while you're at it, you may end up getting the "bully" cat neutered too. I don't know where you live, but see if there are any organizations running a trap/neuter/return (TNR) program in your area. These could provide you with access to a low or no-cost neuter and quick vet checkout and access to a humane trap which may be the only way you can really catch them. Now for the cat you want to add to your home you'd obviously want a more thorough vet evaluation and treatment.

Even if there's not a formal TNR program, there could be a humane agency that could at least loan you a trap. You're probably going to need that. Heck, my own cat, with me for 15 years, still hates being picked up as do many cats. But true she doesn't immediately struggle and run away, just whines at me and doesn't enjoy it. Anyway, be prepared for the first one to be trapped to be the bully, quite possibly. Maybe you'd be able to reset the trap while the bully is being treated. Also, obviously these cats should be checked against any missing cat info and checked for microchips; it's probably unlikely, but it's not outside the possibility that your friendly one is someone's lost cat.

Beyond that, good luck! I just have general info, no firsthand experience dealing with this. I have yet to experience a stray coming around my place regularly. Several other folks posting here have taken in strays though.

[GotBackHome]

one of my friends (who we refer to as the "Cat Goddess") had a big orange boy stray that came around her place for a couple of years. She had fixed up a box on her porch for him, esp for the winter. At some point she saw he had some ear issues that needed medicine. She had to box trap him to get him to the vet. It was a chore, but he finally got in. I believe he lived in her garage for a little while - particularly until he learned what the litter box was for (she caught him in the act outside the box and picked him up quickly and plopped him in it! then he realized and used it).

She took time doing the usual integration things: introducing smells to the house brood (54 or 5 cats) and to him, supervised time to visit.. he's now fully integrated and gets along fine with the others. There are some that hate each other and she has to break up fights (know that feeling!) but he's fine. He had a second bout with ear infections later, so it's probably going to be an occasional thing with him.

And once you've trapped him to get him in, you could arrange for a lot to be done at the one time (while you have him!): neuter, ear clean, nail trim, possible dental. Expensive to do all that at one time, but then it's only the 1 anesthesia and in case you have issues catching him again.

do you have a guest room or store room or something larger than a bathroom that he could live in for a little while? They'll begin to know each other through the door. and you can supervise visits one at a time, bringing one o the girls back there and see how they do. I would suggest the introductions over a weekend when you don't have to go to work and can spend the time.

good luck with it, and thanks for taking care of a stray!