My Pet Sitter Lost My Toby Kitty (butt, healthy, best)
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This will end a long term friendship. Is it worth it? I think I would be so angry at her the friendship would be ruined anyway.
Was she being paid to stay at your home? Did she offer to stay there? The Judge may say she was nice enough to watch your cats, it was an "accident", and you may lose.
She was repaying the favor of me taking her shopping for kitchen items to stock her kitchen and giving her cooking lessons (mostly with food I paid for). No judge would ever say that because someone was doing something nice, that they aren't responsible for their negligent acts.
I don't care if I ever speak to her again as long as I live. Honestly.
<Does the injured-stork happy dance around the room>
Idecided to sleep on the patio and at around 3:30 AM, the little b.gger, nonchalant as you please, jumps onto my sleeping bag. I (with 3:30 AM reaction times) pet him a couple of times and he starts purring. Then, as the realization sets in, I manage to scruff him, sack-race across the patio, get him through the door and get myself disentangled from the sleeping bag.
He's now dividing his time between emptying his food & water bowl and filling his box, cool as - ehm - a cat. Little stinker.
Thanks everybody, for the good vibes, the prayers, the advice and the mental first-aid. It helped, it really did. I'm off for a night-cap and some sleep. Tomorrow: Collect 40-some fliers from the neighborhood. I oughta make him do it.
When it comes to lost pets, happy endings like this are the BEST!
She'll be getting a letter with copies of the bills for all the expenses she cost us and a request for reimbursement. If she doesn't pay up, I'll be taking her to small claims court. And I'll win. Her negligence caused us financial harm. She's about to learn a tough life lesson.
So some of my earlier posts aren't misconstrued - I'm not a total wuss. It took a few "knocks" before I came to learn that forgiveness really is the way to go after you've been done wrong. But that isn't to say I'm like a cat showing its tummy. Before I forgive you for whatever bad you brought, I'ma get ALL punitive on yo' azz. On three occasions I've promised notification of the Attorney General if unpaid wages weren't delivered or money returned for services not rendered. Another time I did go the legal route, after ample warning, to get someone to stop defrauding and ripping off people in an organization I ran and that this person was falsely claiming to. But in every instance I went on to forgive.
Your peach of a catsitter thrives on attention. Not that - a la Weasie - this is necessarily a bad thing. But the kind of attention is what isn't good. It makes her day to inconvenience and aggravate others. Blocking calls/texts gives her a feeling of power, of getting over on somebody. She'll glow inside for months now that she's wrecked people's vacation and racked up their anxiety by not communicating. "This will make them remember me for a long time! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Girl, you are ba-a-a-a-a-a-ad." She's, what, 35? And she needs cooking lessons, and carries on like that? What does that tell you? What it tells me is that she's incorrigible. Once someone gets that far along in life with a sense of entitlement and a craving for being the center of attention they're usually a lost cause. That's where forgiveness works against her. You don't have to tell her this will be your approach, naturally. But it'll take the wind out of her sails when she realizes she can't get a rise out of you any more.
Since I'm only an armchair attorney there's no way for me to know how a small-claims action based on an escaped pet might play out. The courts and our society are too "thing" oriented. If someone's negligence caused property - even a pedigreed animal with an estimated dollar value - to disappear, it's an open and shut case in the plaintiff's favor. But here we're talking about an alley cat. Not that that diminishes the significance of what occurred, in my mind. Weasie sure didn't have any pedigrees, and I wouldn't have traded her for a show winner. No price tag could be put on how much she enriched my existence and how much we loved each other. But who's to say the legal system would see things the way Mr & Ms OP and I do? Get the wrong judge, and you could end up hearing "Cats are crafty and find ways to run away all the time. Malicious intent can't be proven here. I find for the defendant." Please consult someone knowledgeable before making threats that you can't live up to or which may backfire. Should things not go right it will only inflate the ego of the catsitter more.
More importantly, revel in Toby's coming back. The focus needs to stay on him for everybody's sake. What's done is done.
She's, what, 35? And she needs cooking lessons, and carries on like that? What does that tell you? What it tells me is that she's incorrigible. Once someone gets that far along in life with a sense of entitlement and a craving for being the center of attention they're usually a lost cause. That's where forgiveness works against her. You don't have to tell her this will be your approach, naturally. But it'll take the wind out of her sails when she realizes she can't get a rise out of you any more.
I was thinking the same...most people know how to cook long before the age of 35, unless they're so stinkin' rich they've had cooks to do that for them all their lives OR unless they've been so spoiled by family members they've simply never had to lift a finger to help around the house growing up. It's sad to me, really...some of my favorite memories of my youth are about cooking with my family, as a family, laughing, bonding, and then sitting down to a delicious meal we could all feel proud of.
I agree that forgiveness is important in general...that being said, forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to be friends with them, and if I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't be, because she clearly doesn't appreciate you or value your friendship. As my dad always used to say..."We have to have a basic, underlying love and compassion for humanity...but that doesn't mean we have to hang out with A-holes!" LOL .
I was thinking the same...most people know how to cook long before the age of 35, unless they're so stinkin' rich they've had cooks to do that for them all their lives OR unless they've been so spoiled by family members they've simply never had to lift a finger to help around the house growing up. It's sad to me, really...some of my favorite memories of my youth are about cooking with my family, as a family, laughing, bonding, and then sitting down to a delicious meal we could all feel proud of.
She was neither stinking rich nor spoiled. She just never learned how to cook, was afraid to try it and got used to just getting takeout or pre-prepared meals at Trader Joe's. Grocery stores actually make it pretty easy not to know how to cook from scratch these days. I'll bet you 99% of people — even you most likely — buy spaghetti sauce in a jar. I don't. It's one of the easiest things in the world to make from scratch, but most people don't even try since there are shelves full to the brim with every kind of sauce you can imagine.
In case you'd like it, here's my very simple recipe:
Ingredients:
Finely dice garlic and add, or use a microplane to scrape the garlic, into the onions and oil. Mix together and continue cooking for a minute or two until it starts to brown just a little.
Spoon the can of tomato paste into the onion/garlic/olive oil in the pot, then start adding broth or stock a little at a time, blending as you go. Takes maybe a minute or two.
Add salt, pepper and any seasonings you like. Options include: Italian seasoning mix, marjoram, thyme, basil, parsley, oregano — even a pinch of cumin can make for a nice smoky flavor to your sauce. Use any combination you have on hand. Add a splash of red wine if you want, also.
After it comes to a bubble, turn the heat to low and let it simmer while you cook the rest of your dinner.
*I used to use plain tomato sauce, but it's nearly impossible to find any that doesn't have sugar added, so I just switched to paste and reconstitute it myself with the broth. I like it better anyway, because I can control the flavor with the type of broth I decide to use. You can even use beef or vegetable broth if you prefer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat
I agree that forgiveness is important in general...that being said, forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to be friends with them, and if I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't be, because she clearly doesn't appreciate you or value your friendship. As my dad always used to say..."We have to have a basic, underlying love and compassion for humanity...but that doesn't mean we have to hang out with A-holes!" LOL .
All true. However, just to be clear, I am not, nor was I ever, angry that she lost my cat. She was irresponsible and made a terrible mistake - it happens to the best of us.
No, what I was and am still outraged by is her unwillingness to communicate with me about what was going on. She refused to return any phone calls, refused to reply to any text messages, didn't respond to emails, didn't call or text my husband back. That infuriated me beyond all measure.
You lost the cat, okay, so what have you done so far? What results have you had? Have you been able to reach any neighbors and are they helping look? I need to give you my vet's phone number so you can call and get his chip number. I want to tell you where you can get a good photo I have uploaded so you can make some signs to put up around the neighborhood. I need to talk to you. I need to hear from you. You do not lose my cat and then freaking ignore my pleas to speak to you.
As a result of her flat out refusal to speak to us, we were forced to send my husband home at no small cost. We may not have had to send him home had she kept the lines of communication open so we could have coordinated together on what to do to get him back.
As far as I'm concerned she owes me $300 and an apology for how she treated me when I was 2,000 miles away and impotent to do anything without her cooperation. If she sincerely apologizes and reimburses us our losses, I'll gladly forgive her and she can come back and learn how to make my famous crock pot brisket.
This time I'm tempted to go to her apartment and smear cat poo all over her front door. I remember when little Moo went missing, but I don't remember her being gone 5 months. Wow. I was so excited when she came home to you.
Thomas is on a plane as I type, flying home to relieve that little cussword that starts with a B of any responsibility at our house. I had to tell her to get her cussword that starts with an S out of my house, lock it up, leave my key and get the cussword that starts with an H out. You know she actually got nasty with me for daring to be angry that she refused to respond to any of my voice messages or texts? Then the cussword that starts with a B blocked my email. Then the cussword that starts with a B blocked my text messages.
I'm just outraged that this woman caused this much chaos for so many people, and when I told her that I'd make her pay for his ticket home if she didn't pick up the phone and call me, she dared to tell me not to "threaten" her. Cussword that starts with a B (or worse).
I'd likely not pick up any calls from you either, especially if all you were going to do was scream about how much of a horrible b*tch I was. Screaming didn't work in this case, as you discovered.
She was irresponsible, and lost whatever relationship she had with you in the first place because of that. You got your cat back, unharmed. The cat appeared to have returned regardless if your husband got home early or not. You made the decision to spend the money to send him out there, and it turns out it wasn't very necessary. I doubt you will get that money back.
All true. However, just to be clear, I am not, nor was I ever, angry that she lost my cat. She was irresponsible and made a terrible mistake - it happens to the best of us.
No, what I was and am still outraged by is her unwillingness to communicate with me about what was going on. She refused to return any phone calls, refused to reply to any text messages, didn't respond to emails, didn't call or text my husband back. That infuriated me beyond all measure.
You lost the cat, okay, so what have you done so far? What results have you had? Have you been able to reach any neighbors and are they helping look? I need to give you my vet's phone number so you can call and get his chip number. I want to tell you where you can get a good photo I have uploaded so you can make some signs to put up around the neighborhood. I need to talk to you. I need to hear from you. You do not lose my cat and then freaking ignore my pleas to speak to you.
As a result of her flat out refusal to speak to us, we were forced to send my husband home at no small cost. We may not have had to send him home had she kept the lines of communication open so we could have coordinated together on what to do to get him back.
As far as I'm concerned she owes me $300 and an apology for how she treated me when I was 2,000 miles away and impotent to do anything without her cooperation. If she sincerely apologizes and reimburses us our losses, I'll gladly forgive her and she can come back and learn how to make my famous crock pot brisket.
I'm so thankful Toby is home safe. I can't even imagine the terror you felt. And I hope I never have to experience it.
I hope she does apologize and reimburse you, and you can talk it out. I hate to see people lose each other, life is so short and loved ones are so important. Perhaps she can learn something from this, and become a better person.
Let us know what happens, okay?
xx
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It took a few "knocks" before I came to learn that forgiveness really is the way to go after you've been done wrong. But that isn't to say I'm like a cat showing its tummy. Before I forgive you for whatever bad you brought, I'ma get ALL punitive on yo' azz. 
I'd likely not pick up any calls from you either, especially if all you were going to do was scream about how much of a horrible b*tch I was. Screaming didn't work in this case, as you discovered.
