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Old 12-05-2013, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,608,566 times
Reputation: 46993

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STRICT, UNBENDING RULES FOR DEALING WITH STRAY CATS

1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.

3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled
unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will
absolutely not be given a name.

8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y".

11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17. Stray cats will sleep outside.

18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.

26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.

28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier' puyykmm4hbdm9lo9j USING IT.
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Old 12-05-2013, 11:25 PM
 
Location: Ohio
14,311 posts, read 12,565,603 times
Reputation: 19014
LOL.............that sounds all too familiar!
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Old 12-06-2013, 07:11 AM
 
532 posts, read 873,762 times
Reputation: 619
Oh, I love that. I have about maybe 17 outside cats, and I'm dying to let them inside. Probably the only reason I don't is that they live, for the most part, as a colony (about 3/4 of which have been TNR'd, with the rest to be done next week or so), in my neighbor's garage. She has named them, and they're basically her cats. But she works all day (I work at home), and I give them their breakfast, which is okay by her.

But very cute; love it.
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Old 12-06-2013, 06:24 PM
 
Location: southern kansas
7,583 posts, read 5,099,463 times
Reputation: 16290
Loved this NK. Sounds like you've been there- done that. I watched my dear departed wife say & do almost every one of those.
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Old 12-06-2013, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,608,566 times
Reputation: 46993
Thanks Catdad. To be fair----this is not my original list but yes I can certainly relate to every single one but especially the last one. It's gotten so bad I have to put everything in Word and save along the way cause Oscar especially likes to tippy tap on the keyboard.
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Old 12-07-2013, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
15,566 posts, read 9,642,463 times
Reputation: 34348
You missed one. Stray cats should not be given any pet toys, unless they are little toys and resemble mice.

Don
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Old 12-08-2013, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Cambridge, MA
4,730 posts, read 10,929,204 times
Reputation: 6449
Early on during the reign of Weasie (December 1992 to January 2012) I threw an old, quilted comforter cover in a corner of the spare bedroom by the baseboard heater. Then I casually tossed an upended shipping crate over it. ("If you do it deliberately, they'll ignore it to spite you.") Soon it became a favorite sleeping and hiding place for her - but only during the colder months. A sure sign of winter's approach was the first time Weasie emerged from beneath that old crate. Then spring was here when she quit scrunching down and slipping into her lair.
During the last month of her life, a visiting cable guy who was - shall we say - disenchanted with his station in life kicked the crate out of the way on a service call. Doing so caused it to flip on its side. So after he left I reset it upright instead of upended. By then Weasie was far enough gone that it was too much for her to scrunch underneath or hop in anyway. She'd never taken refuge in it that winter.
Enter Blaliko and Seteria. I was interested to see that neither of them showed more than passing interest in the "nap box" all through the winter of 2012-13. But that's changed this time around. Just like her predecessor, on the first night that a drop in temperature was noticeable Blaliko was all about hopping into, and sleeping in, that crate. She never knew of it when it was upended, of course. And snoozing while the light's on is no big deal - just curl up under one of the lowered flaps. That's where she can be found right now.
So who's to say? Perhaps it was a "rule for strays" that kept Blaliko out of the nap box - also known as the Winter Palace - last year. (Seteria still shows no interest, but maybe her mom played a part in that.) Or there could be a whole separate instruction manual successor cats use.
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Old 12-08-2013, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Salem,Oregon
306 posts, read 321,747 times
Reputation: 852
All my cats until Roberto my newest were strays. Goober wandered into a branch library and sat under one of the tables and proceeded to take charge. He was just under 2 then, now is 14. The 2 before that I was not going to keep showed up as tiny kittens when neighbors moved out and left them. I didn't want to name them so called them boy and girl, which evolved into boyfriend and girlfriend and 18 years later was Bubba and PG (pretty girl).

Actually since Roberto was being adopted out by Humane Society via Petco he was kind of homeless and I certainly had no intention of another cat when I made the mistake of looking at him so he could qualify?
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