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Old 12-31-2013, 01:14 AM
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
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I wouldn't stay in a relationship with anyone who didn't respect my wishes.
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Old 12-31-2013, 03:05 AM
Location: Near Nashville TN
7,201 posts, read 11,326,380 times
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Originally Posted by cmjones311 View Post
It's become a battle between us, because he's not respecting my feelings about it.
Then why are you still with this person? If I were you, he would be long gone.
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Old 12-31-2013, 03:58 AM
5,876 posts, read 11,745,747 times
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No you are not being over protective. I agree with the other posters. This guy has no respect for you or your feelings or your cat. Exposing your cat to risk like that, then ignoring you when you made your feelings clear. Get rid of him.

And don't forget to change the locks.
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Old 12-31-2013, 06:26 AM
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,620,437 times
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Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I would kick this guy to the curb.

1. He is disrespecting you.
2. He is putting your cat's life in danger.

This is almost abusive, and quite controlling, he is exerting his will on you, irregardless of your feelings. This is more than just the cat!

And, he does not know your cat or love him the way you do.

Geez, I would not even fight about this with the guy, it would just be over. Over.

Find a man who loves you, respects you, and listens to you, and wants to protect you from any type of emotional pain. This man is obviously not a cat person.
everything I would say. he is a loser if he treats you and your cat like this.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:27 AM
Location: zone 5
7,330 posts, read 12,547,889 times
Reputation: 9578
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
You like keeping an animal prisoner in your home? Where's the "love" in that?

I find it funny that pet owners supposedly unconditionally love their pets so much. Truth is people just like to control animals and use them for their own entertainment and emotional needs.

I side with your BF. Animals are just that...animals. Let the animal outside in nature. Animals were created by nature/God/whatever you believe with natural instincts. They can feed and defend themselves.
Even truly wild animals who have spent time being cared for by humans, after an injury or for other reasons, have to be prepared for returning to the wild. This is done slowly and carefully. Sometimes it isn't possible. And you expect a domesticated animal who's been inside for 12 years to know how to feed and defend herself if she decides to leave the yard and gets lost? Even cats who have been indoor/outdoor their whole lives are in danger from cars, large hawks, and sick cat hating people. Sorry, you are wrong. And no, we are not just into controlling animals for our own selfish reasons.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:34 AM
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eh, cats like to be outside even if they are not used to.
I don't see a problem as long as someone is out with the cat in the fenced yard.
We have an indoor/outdoor girl and one indoor only girl.
The indoor only girl, that is her choice to stay inside, she has no desire to go outside. We could leave the door open all day and she would not venture out.
Our indoor/outdoor girl goes out when she wants and comes back in when she wants however, I do make sure she is inside before dark and before we leave to go out and about.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:49 AM
Location: FL
1,117 posts, read 1,606,947 times
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It is an individual choice in/out door cats and the OP made that choice. We can quibble about the safety vs humanity of keeping cats inside if we wish, most people who love their cats will opt for inside only, and most vets agree. It's like having a child but again it's an individual decision. In this instance however the OP made the choice and her BF ignored it without her knowledge. Call her overprotective if you like there remains the issue of the BF disregarding her wishes without consulting her.

Also, fenced yard for a cat? I have baby gates to keep my puppy contained, the cats don't know the gates are there - they sail over them. Once in a while they climb them. Cats are excellent at climbing and jumping. An ordinary sized house cat can jump on top of a refrigerator from the floor so I don't see a problem with a cat leaping a fence. I do however see a problem with a human trying to catch said kitty. Having a kitty out in a fenced yard gives one a false sense of security, it keeps others out, not kitty in, unless kitty chooses to remain in.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:53 AM
1,181 posts, read 2,456,893 times
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Originally Posted by cmjones311 View Post
My 14ish year old cat has been indoors for the last 12 years since I found him as a stray. He has never minded staying inside. I found out several months back that my BF has let him out into the backyard several times, and I'm NOT happy. He says he watches him, but im sure he doesnt have his eyes on him every single second, and I still don't want him going out. There's poison ivy by the fence, stray cats that hang around that probably leave fleas all over the yard, and neighbors on all 3 sides have dogs. Fenced, but anything could happen, ya know?

Now that he's gotten a taste of being outside, he's slipped out without our knowledge twice, one day being out the entire day while we were at work. And he yowls loudly at the door, which my BF hates. I told him he created that monster, but he says,"The cat likes it outside!" I said I don't give a ****, I don't want my car going out anymore. It's become a battle between us, because he's not respecting my feelings about it.

Am I overreacting?
You are NOT over-reacting. If your BF will not respect your wishes about something this simple he has no respect for you as a person. I'd get rid of BF. For one thing he's endangering your cat's life in more than one way.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:54 AM
Location: Philaburbia
31,165 posts, read 57,288,199 times
Reputation: 52030
I agree with most everyone else. You're not overreacting, or being overprotective. If you don't want your cat to go outside, then your boyfriend should respect that. If he can't or won't, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship.
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Old 12-31-2013, 08:15 AM
Location: Pittsburgh area
9,918 posts, read 19,683,339 times
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Originally Posted by cmjones311 View Post
Am I overreacting?
No. This dude is being an idiot sounds like. The cat was inside for 12 years. You don't suddenly let it out and assume all will be fine. The cat may like it, and all animals have some instinctive behaviors, but he isn't suited to being out there unsupervised after 12 years in the house.

If you find you can't now break him of the new habit, his time out there should be fully supervised either on a leash with harness or inside an enclosure built for that purpose. Maybe you can get the idiot BF to build an enclosure.

I'm not going to comment on whether this is a make or break for relationship, but what I would say is this is NOT something I would compromise. Line in the sand, this needs to be fixed, at least to the level of supervision and being vigilant about not letting the cat slip out on his own. That requires training yourselves to close doors immediately, etc.
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