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Old 12-30-2013, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Columbus, OH
499 posts, read 899,645 times
Reputation: 745

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My 14ish year old cat has been indoors for the last 12 years since I found him as a stray. He has never minded staying inside. I found out several months back that my BF has let him out into the backyard several times, and I'm NOT happy. He says he watches him, but im sure he doesnt have his eyes on him every single second, and I still don't want him going out. There's poison ivy by the fence, stray cats that hang around that probably leave fleas all over the yard, and neighbors on all 3 sides have dogs. Fenced, but anything could happen, ya know?

Now that he's gotten a taste of being outside, he's slipped out without our knowledge twice, one day being out the entire day while we were at work. And he yowls loudly at the door, which my BF hates. I told him he created that monster, but he says,"The cat likes it outside!" I said I don't give a ****, I don't want my car going out anymore. It's become a battle between us, because he's not respecting my feelings about it.

Am I overreacting?
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Old 12-30-2013, 07:57 PM
 
Location: southern kansas
7,588 posts, read 5,102,618 times
Reputation: 16292
No, you aren't. He's your cat, and your BF should respect your wishes about his care.
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Old 12-30-2013, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,362,884 times
Reputation: 11302
Quote:
Originally Posted by catdad7x View Post
No, you aren't. He's your cat, and your BF should respect your wishes about his care.
I agree, and would go on to say that this issue could be a deal-breaker in terms of the relationship. t least it would be for me.

It's your cat, your home, and your clearly stated wishes which he's not respecting.
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Old 12-30-2013, 10:01 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,447,336 times
Reputation: 25990
I would kick this guy to the curb.

1. He is disrespecting you.
2. He is putting your cat's life in danger.

This is almost abusive, and quite controlling, he is exerting his will on you, irregardless of your feelings. This is more than just the cat!

And, he does not know your cat or love him the way you do.

Geez, I would not even fight about this with the guy, it would just be over. Over.

Find a man who loves you, respects you, and listens to you, and wants to protect you from any type of emotional pain. This man is obviously not a cat person.
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Old 12-30-2013, 10:13 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
15,574 posts, read 9,650,106 times
Reputation: 34364
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I would kick this guy to the curb.

1. He is disrespecting you.
2. He is putting your cat's life in danger.

This is almost abusive, and quite controlling, he is exerting his will on you, irregardless of your feelings. This is more than just the cat!

And, he does not know your cat or love him the way you do.

Geez, I would not even fight about this with the guy, it would just be over. Over.

Find a man who loves you, respects you, and listens to you, and wants to protect you from any type of emotional pain. This man is obviously not a cat person.

I could not have said it better, except I would not have been so polite. Your BF is an idiot. At 14 your cat has not been exposed to all the dangers out there and suddenly he is being put in a very bad position.

Moreover, everyone is right, he is disrespecting you by doing this, and that is really the deeper issue. I would be making sure in no uncertain terms that the next time he did it he would be finding a new GF, one that he can walk all over.

After all, you have had the kitty longer than the BF and you have a responsibility to the cat.

Don
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Old 12-30-2013, 10:41 PM
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,184 posts, read 10,131,783 times
Reputation: 18268
BF is putting your cat in deadly danger either because he really hates cates or he intends to show you who's boss. This will not end well if he remains. Do not leave your cat home alone with him either. You already know that he places no value on your little pal's life.
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Old 12-30-2013, 11:04 PM
 
Location: FL
1,117 posts, read 1,606,947 times
Reputation: 1451
This is underhanded, disrespectful and dangerous. I'd say in addition to having a problem with the cat you have a problem with your BF, trust issues for starters but this is a cat thread so I'll stick to that. I had a roommate who let my cat out when I wasn't home and I wasn't thrilled either. We had a chat but like you the damage was done. My guys are indoor only kitties too. Both of my guys got out without my knowing and were gone for days, one was gone for TWO WEEKS.

I was beside myself, you can imagine what I thought. Fortunately he came home, the roommate was long gone by that time, HE disappeared by the way, no idea what happened. And he was really a good guy but just had a lapse of sense letting the cats out. Anyway, once they get the idea they can go out they often will make you crazy. That was a few years ago and they've gotten past it but it was difficult for a while to put up with their whining and I had to watch them carefully whenever I opened the door.
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Old 12-30-2013, 11:21 PM
 
Location: Out West
20,596 posts, read 15,424,228 times
Reputation: 24158
The BF needs to go.

Now that the damage is done, and the cat howls at the door, get a harness. You can take him out for little outings in the yard, on his harness, with you attached to the other end. That will give him what he wants, and you will have control of him at all times.

And again, the BF needs to go. That's about the nicest way I can say that, because what I really want to say would get my post deleted.
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Old 12-31-2013, 12:03 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
15,561 posts, read 9,588,275 times
Reputation: 26006
I agree.

yea, this is a cat forum so everyone is probably a bit biased but think about it: you've said no, he does it anyway and claims the cat likes it.
Is that really the type of guy you want to share your life with? Your call.


Personally I hope he gets poison ivy from the cat.
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Old 12-31-2013, 12:35 AM
 
Location: California
29,580 posts, read 31,907,081 times
Reputation: 24725
Speaking as someone with indoor/outdoor cats only I still think your bf made a huge mistake. He's got the cat howling at the door and slipping out when he didn't do that for 14 years....not good.

I just spent a week with my daughters indoor only cat staying at my house. This guy has also got a taste of outside from time to time, and even got lost once and was, fortunately, recovered by a neighbor. He slipped out of my house 4 times in a week because the other cats were doing it and he wanted to as well! Indoor only cats have NO street smarts and will wander into danger. It's too bad your bf started this because now it's going to be a PITA to control.
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