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This isn't what Sonic Spork said at all. Not even close.
You are so cold you can't even recognize love when it's sitting on your lap.
Either that or you've ignored your cats all their lives so much they have no feeling for you at all. That is what I would call pathetic. Pathetic for the cats to have had to live such a sad loveless life all these years with such as you.
What a waste of 17 years. For them. Obviously nothing can touch you, so it doesn't matter if you are loveless. You don't even know what you have missed.
-sigh-
Look, I've taken good enough care of them that they've lived this long, and the 16 year old will probably live to be at least 18 (he's really robust for his age). Again, as far as I can tell they show no indication whatsoever that they 'know' my feelings. Apart from being older and less energetic, they have the same disposition as when they were younger: This is convincing evidence that cats are more oblivious to their human keepers than their human keepers are inclined to think.
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Originally Posted by Ceece
It would be a little difficult to rehome them at their age but it's not an impossible thing to do, especially if the new owner gave them more attention and whatnot. Other than that you should just appreciate them while you can since they won't be living much longer. I love cats, but I understand know how you could feel this way.
Yes, and as I've said I don't plan to give them up. [Though I'm tempted to just to spite the delusional cat fanatics on this forum.] Thanks for being one of the few voices of sanity among the cacophony of cat loonies.
I adore my cat so much I could never give him away, leave him or kick him out. Too many hugs and snuggles, too many hours of companionship when there was no one else. Too much history, and it's only been two years.
I can't relate to what you're saying and I think you may be someone that may have problems with empathy, at the very least.
Nah, cats are not people. Nor are they dogs. They're cats. That's why some of us love 'em so much!
There is some variation on cat personality, but most of the stuff cats do...it's cat stuff. It evolved as a logical response to the circumstances they adapted to. Just like all sorts of critters, even people.
I won't act like a cat doesn't have feelings, or attachment to its humans, that's not really true. It goes further than basic survival needs, generally. Cats are creatures of routine. They like things to be the same, patterned, reliable. When you shake that up and change stuff, they have to adjust and it's not easy for them. Some of them (especially younger cats) are resilient enough to adapt fairly quickly, and others display behavior and health issues in response. But seriously, even FISH can die from stress. And I don't think anyone is arguing that a fish is a person. Does the cat view its bond with you precisely the same as you do the bond you may have with your cat? Probably not. That doesn't mean that it has no real vested interest in you, its human guardian. It has learned that not only are you the provider, you are safe and won't harm it. I have often felt that a big part of the appeal of cats is that, like their big cat cousins, they are kinda wild-ish, they are somewhat primitive in that compared to dogs that evolved from social beginnings to be utility pets...they are a bit of the wild that we bring into our lives, and it's special because we have their trust.
My cat...at first he was super skittish, but he had the idea that I was safe. He slept on my chest as I held him for hours in a recliner chair, when he was small and sickly. Eventually he learned a dynamic with all of the members of my family, but was still fearful, cautious, and generally skittish of our visiting friends. Now, he is braver around them, coming out and allowing himself to be touched by strangers, but not their kids. The kids are loud and unpredictable and he doesn't trust them.
He's not processing all of this on a human level, but on a cat level. To quote one of my favorite shows, "You know how humans are evolved from apes? He evolved from cats. His ancestors were cats, he's descended from cats. He is a cat."
As for a cat being the salvation of a person though, that's not pathetic at all. Life can be tough. Whatever makes it easier to get out of bed every day...it's no more pathetic than being saved by religion, or career ambition, or a cup of coffee each morning. Whatever brings you happiness, that's something to be appreciated. Period. But it does have to be balanced by obligation and responsibility, otherwise we're all nothing but senseless children, stepping on everyone and everything around us, heedlessly and heartlessly...which is also no way to live.
I'm sorry so many of you are so effed up to think of relationships with cats as more significant than those with other people. I'm sorry that other persons have effed you up so badly that this has happened to you, and also very sad that you're this way in general.
Here's the simple truth: Cats stay with us because we provide them with food and shelter, period. Sure, they may feel a very rudimentary form of 'love' or basic affection, but most of what we perceive as affection is an autonomic response because we give them food and shelter. If you stopped providing food for them, they would eventually leave (if they can) to find someone else.
Anyone who thinks cats, 'saved their life' is pathetic.
I don't think anyone in this thread said or implied that a relationship with a cat is more significant than one with children or other loved ones. I know I certainly didn't. You're either throwing that out here to be argumentative, or you are failing to comprehend what is being said in these posts. For the record, I do have close personal relationships with friends, get along very well with my large extended family, and was married to a wonderful lady for 16 years before she passed away. I love my cats very much and enjoy having them in my life every day, and I take my responsibility of taking care of them very seriously. If you think that makes me 'effed-up', then that's your problem, not mine.
I don't agree with the last part of your post either. If that were true, they wouldn't come to us for attention, or just to be close to us. They wouldn't sleep with us. They wouldn't bring us their toys to play with, or the prey they caught to feed us. They don't have to do any of that to survive in our homes. If what you say is true, we would never see them unless they were hungry.
If that's what you believe about your cats, then I can understand why you might be weary of their presence in your life
I've also come to understand they aren't people. This is something I think many don't understand.
Ooops. One step forward, two steps back.
Cat owners "understand" that cats are cats and people are people and cats aren't people and people aren't cats. Duh.
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If my cats were transferred to another good caretaker who also looked after their needs, they'd probably mostly forget about me in fairly short order.
And this illustrates how little you know about cats.
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Originally Posted by catsmom21
But if you treat a cat like the member of the family he should be treated as, he will grieve deeply at the loss of you. Cats also become deeply bonded to other cats, dogs, and other animals. They can grieve themselves into ill health, sometimes, over losses.
I witnessed this first hand when my husband died. For months after he was gone, they looked for him in the places they usually found him. They'd go into his office, for instance, look around, jump on the furniture, look around some more ... and then go into the bedroom, jump on the bed, look around ... etc. They also were very clingy for a long time afterward, always at my feet, in my lap, or sitting next to me.
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Originally Posted by Leyla30
You all think I am bad but, that's why people are so unhappy- they hold on to things that doesn't bring them happiness.
Cats aren't "things".
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Originally Posted by catdad7x
Those "unhealthy" relationships also kept me from sliding down that slippery slope after my wife died. My cats quite literally saved my mental health, on a daily basis, and gave me the emotional therapy I needed.
Yes, exactly. I don't know what I'd have done without my cats after my spouse died. The thought of coming home to a house without of him was hard to handle, but at least the house wasn't completely empty, because the cats were there to greet me when I opened the door.
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Originally Posted by PanapolicRiddle
I'm sorry so many of you are so effed up to think of relationships with cats as more significant than those with other people. I'm sorry that other persons have effed you up so badly that this has happened to you, and also very sad that you're this way in general.
And I'm sorry that you can't accept the affection of your cats as true affection and bond for you as a person and not solely as a caregiver. Such a loss for you.
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Anyone who thinks cats, 'saved their life' is pathetic.
Cat owners "understand" that cats are cats and people are people and cats aren't people and people aren't cats. Duh.
And this illustrates how little you know about cats.
I witnessed this first hand when my husband died. For months after he was gone, they looked for him in the places they usually found him. They'd go into his office, for instance, look around, jump on the furniture, look around some more ... and then go into the bedroom, jump on the bed, look around ... etc. They also were very clingy for a long time afterward, always at my feet, in my lap, or sitting next to me.
Cats aren't "things".
Yes, exactly. I don't know what I'd have done without my cats after my spouse died. The thought of coming home to a house without of him was hard to handle, but at least the house wasn't completely empty, because the cats were there to greet me when I opened the door.
And I'm sorry that you can't accept the affection of your cats as true affection and bond for you as a person and not solely as a caregiver. Such a loss for you.
Cat owners "understand" that cats are cats and people are people and cats aren't people and people aren't cats. Duh.
And this illustrates how little you know about cats.
I witnessed this first hand when my husband died. For months after he was gone, they looked for him in the places they usually found him. They'd go into his office, for instance, look around, jump on the furniture, look around some more ... and then go into the bedroom, jump on the bed, look around ... etc. They also were very clingy for a long time afterward, always at my feet, in my lap, or sitting next to me.
Cats aren't "things".
Yes, exactly. I don't know what I'd have done without my cats after my spouse died. The thought of coming home to a house without of him was hard to handle, but at least the house wasn't completely empty, because the cats were there to greet me when I opened the door.
And I'm sorry that you can't accept the affection of your cats as true affection and bond for you as a person and not solely as a caregiver. Such a loss for you.
That statement is what's pathetic.
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Originally Posted by PeachSalsa
Agreed and repped. Spot on.
You both are the sort of people I hope own lots of cats. Great advocates We need more like you. Reps around!
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We need more like you. Reps around!