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I have to put this down somewhere in hopes that I can get this out of my head and heart. We lost our cat Frank on Saturday to congestive heart failure. It was a traumatizing event that took me back mentally to the agonizing cancer death of my grandmother. I am not so sure we made the right choice to let Frank die at home being loved though we were sure of it before Saturday.
Frank was a 5 year old Himalayan mix, we believe, who was diagnosed with a heart murmur early on. He never seemed to have any issues until recently. He grew up in my home as the kitten to my adult son and his ex-girlfriend, moving with us to another state 5000+ feet higher in elevation. He then moved back to the city we came from to live with the ex-girlfriend, he was more her cat, but after a year when she had to move and couldn't take him, we temporarily took him back in earlier this year. That was when I noticed Frank's heavy breathing, which my son said he did occasionally. The ex-girlfriend had signed Frank up for a PetSmart health plan (BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER) and took him for regular check-ups due to his heart murmur, so we took him in for a check-up, they didn't mention any issues and said he looked good. Frank continued his heavy breathing, I insisted we take him again and specifically ask about it. They kept him for two days for treatment and after handing over $1000, my son was told Frank had congestive heart failure, they thought he would die any minute....and then launched into an overly cheerful euthanasia sales pitch of $200-$300 depending on our needs. We were shocked. Frank had been his normal happy self other than the heavy breathing, eating everyone's food and begging for something off your plate on fish or chicken night, jumping up and down from furniture and windows, purring, snuggling, and scratching his post. With the ex-girlfriend a day's road trip away and wanting to see her cat first, my son decided we would not euthanize Frank and would let him live his remaining days at home being loved, it didn't seem like his time yet. I did some research and saw others had helped prolong their cat's lives with a change in diet and daily meds, so that's what we did. I read up on what to expect when his time did come and everything I read from people who had pets die of congestive heart failure said it was a "sudden heart attack and they were gone". That is what we expected but it was NOT what happened at all.
******VERY GRAPHIC AND DISTURBING, ONLY READ IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN THEY DIE AT HOME***** Saturday was like any other day. The last couple days, I noticed Frank breathing a little heavier, but he was still his normal self. We snuggled Saturday morning and I felt his belly that had been filling with fluid, it seemed so tight, but he ate normal, was lovable, purring and was still getting up up and down the stairs fine. We had a small party in our backyard Saturday for grandkids so we we kept Frank isolated upstairs where it was peaceful with my son checking him often. About 3pm my son told me that Frank was panting with his mouth open, which I had read about. Shortly afterwards, Frank's legs gave out and he began to meow and cough, dragging himself about appearing to have a seizure. He was contorting his neck and gasping, clawing and starting to panic. He looked scared and confused as the process intensified. We were in no way prepared for what was happening, this was horrific and we felt so helpless and stupid. Frank lay on his side clawing out, twisting his neck to breath, seizing, meowing, and appeared to be in agony as we pet him trying to comfort him before he let out his last gasp. We were in shock and traumatized. We had never had an animal die, my sons, even as young adults have never experienced death. I wish I had known what his dying at home would be like. I thought I prepared my sons for the hypothetical scenarios of how the death would play out, I feel so stupid. I wish I had known more what I could do to make it easier for Frank, I wish I knew that it wouldn't be a sudden quick heart attack. Why did I not find any detailed descriptions online when I was looking for what to expect? Was this a sudden heart attack and I just didn't know it was a 30 minute or so process? Or was it not considered a "sudden" heart attack and Frank's death was out of the ordinary? We loved him and just wanted to love him until it was his time, but we got to no sign that it was his time from him as others say they get from their pets. I am so torn on our decision and now have regrets. Did the extra time and love we gave him outweigh the suffering? Did he suffer? Was his body reacting and he was already gone not feeling it? I don't know, I wish he could have told me what he preferred. I almost wish he felt miserable and deteriorated in the weeks before so we would know and ended his misery before it got so bad, but then part of me is glad he seemed himself until his last day. I still don't know what the right decision was but it so hurts and weighs heavy on my heart and mind. I can't get the images of his dying out of my mind. These are the things you should know as you are making your decision on whether to euthanize your terminally ill pet or allow him/her to be loved to the end. I don't know what the right answer is, but I wish I had a clearer picture to begin with and I am sure my son does too.
We miss Frank tremendously, our hearts are full of sorrow over losing him. Mine is especially in turmoil thinking I could have done something more for him. I only hope he felt all our love until the end and that it was worth it for him. We will never know. I hope this post helps others decide what it best for their pets.
RIP Frank
This is a heartbreaking read. I am very sorry for your loss of Frank.
I believe that you made the best decision for Frank based on the information you had at the time. That's really all any of us can do. You should not torture yourself.
And thank you for sharing this. Maybe this information will help someone else make the best decision they can for their beloved pets.
My heart goes to you at the loss of your precious Sammy. I have experience with CHF in both animals & humans, and in some cases there's just not much you can do about it. My wife suffered & died from it, and so did my little Yorkie. I managed to give him about 3 more decent years, but in the end his heart just gave out.
It's no consolation, I know, but your Sammy went relatively quickly & didn't suffer much..... and he saved you from having to make that decision. It was his final gift to you.
Just wanted to let you know that by a Google Search, our cat Oreo, suffering from the same congestive heart condition that Frank was, we found your post. Wanted to tell you personally that your decision to share Frank's story and your family heartbreak about the decision, ultimately had a instrumental impact on our decision and our emotional health about it.
Your post helped us. We ultimately to spend the day with him, holding him during in his labored breaking (due to the heart failure) then completed the euthanization. Nothing compares to ending a life, even out of love, its the most difficult thing to do. However, we all felt it was the right thing to do for him given his current suffering and potential suffering... the outcome we thought we could avoid, thanks to your sharing Frank's and your families.
We appreciate you. Just wanted to let you know that your experience was not in vain and that it has helped others and the potential suffering of other cats.
I had to put my Bruno (Maincoon) to sleep on 9.2.2018, he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and I was not sure I should have put him to sleep, but I did.
The last Vet I had brought my Bruno too, gave him the wrong injection and that gave him a congestive heart failure, I am still very, very sad that my Bruno is gone, I had him since he was 3 weeks old, he was 10 years this year. And I am extremely angry at that Vet, those people just don't care.
PurpleCheetah, you did what you thought was best for your baby and you did not want to give him up so fast, I understand completely, I have cats all my life and I had several cats die of Strokes, that is horrible enough, I promised myself that I will never let one of my cats suffer again, but it is extremely hard to give them up, especially when it is sudden, like by my Bruno.
Just wanted to let you know that by a Google Search, our cat Oreo, suffering from the same congestive heart condition that Frank was, we found your post. Wanted to tell you personally that your decision to share Frank's story and your family heartbreak about the decision, ultimately had a instrumental impact on our decision and our emotional health about it.
Your post helped us. We ultimately to spend the day with him, holding him during in his labored breaking (due to the heart failure) then completed the euthanization. Nothing compares to ending a life, even out of love, its the most difficult thing to do. However, we all felt it was the right thing to do for him given his current suffering and potential suffering... the outcome we thought we could avoid, thanks to your sharing Frank's and your families.
We appreciate you. Just wanted to let you know that your experience was not in vain and that it has helped others and the potential suffering of other cats.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas1981
I had to put my Bruno (Maincoon) to sleep on 9.2.2018, he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and I was not sure I should have put him to sleep, but I did.
The last Vet I had brought my Bruno too, gave him the wrong injection and that gave him a congestive heart failure, I am still very, very sad that my Bruno is gone, I had him since he was 3 weeks old, he was 10 years this year. And I am extremely angry at that Vet, those people just don't care.
PurpleCheetah, you did what you thought was best for your baby and you did not want to give him up so fast, I understand completely, I have cats all my life and I had several cats die of Strokes, that is horrible enough, I promised myself that I will never let one of my cats suffer again, but it is extremely hard to give them up, especially when it is sudden, like by my Bruno.
Sorry to hear both of you had to make that tough decision, and my heart goes out to you for your loss. There's always that self-doubt about "doing it too soon", and most of us here have been there. But it's my belief that it's better for them to possibly go a day too early, than a day too late. You all did the right thing for your beloved pets.
I just wanted to say thank you to who wrote this post. My cat was dying of Congestive Heart Failure and I read this before deciding to put him to sleep. I was able to be in the room with him while they put him to sleep to help him avoid a painful death. I was looking up everywhere trying to find out what type of death could happen before I made the decision. I found this post and I knew what I had to do. Thank you for helping people be aware and helping my kitty Romeo avoid a painful death.
I just wanted to say thank you to who wrote this post. My cat was dying of Congestive Heart Failure and I read this before deciding to put him to sleep. I was able to be in the room with him while they put him to sleep to help him avoid a painful death. I was looking up everywhere trying to find out what type of death could happen before I made the decision. I found this post and I knew what I had to do. Thank you for helping people be aware and helping my kitty Romeo avoid a painful death.
I'm sure I can speak for most everyone here on the cat forum when I say we're deeply sorry for your loss. But you made that difficult choice and did what was best for Romeo. I'm glad this forum played some small part in making that decision more comfortable for you. I hope your pain of loss will be brief, and you can dwell on the good memories of him.
My cat was being treated for congestive heart failure & we knew she didn’t have much longer. She got so stressed by car trips, I swore I’d never take her to the vets again. She was doing ok, but we were running out of meds, so I made an appointment to bring her in. The vet said she was on a knife edge, but that she was happy to continue treating her.,She was stressed in the car home, and had a complete crisis like Frank at home and had the same agonising death. I thought I’d rather have her die at home. How naive I was to assume she’d die suddenly in her sleep or have a quick death. Lesson learned: if the vet is mentioning it as a possibility, it’s probably time. Vets and doctors use comfort care for a reason.
Dear Purple Cheetah, thank you so much for posting your experience. I too was faced with making a sudden decision about my cat Dusty. He was a 15 year old Russian Blue that suddenly on 1 Jan 2020 started having difficulty breathing and like your kitty had his mouth open, gasping, stretching, twisting, looking at me in horror. I didn't know what to do, I picked him up and massaged him and he slowly settled down and went back to normal. I figured it was just a reaction to something, he was a healty cat as far as I knew. He just had a dental extraction and cleaning a year earlier. I now know that he almost died right there and then a horrible death. Fast forward 4 days on 5 Jan 2020 he was again struggling to breath a little and he hadn't eaten anything all day but at the same time was still his playful self and just wanted to cuddle. Him not eating concerned me more than his heavy breathing so I took him to the emergency vet where they did x-rays and put him on oxygen. They found his lungs full of liquid and his heart so enlarged it was pushing up against his windpipe. They told me I needed to put him to sleep. I was shocked and burst into tears. I told them I needed some time to make some calls and do some research. I couldn't really find anything on the net but I came across your post and that helped make my decision. I didn't want Dusty to suffer so I sat with him, cuddled him, told him I loved him and we set his spirit free. I'm sorry you didn't know what to expect, I'm sorry your kitty suffered, and I hope you find peace in knowing that your post will help many others to do the right thing. Thank you so much for your post and I pray you find love and peace as many others will thanks to you.
Dear Purple Cheetah, thank you so much for posting your experience. I too was faced with making a sudden decision about my cat Dusty. He was a 15 year old Russian Blue that suddenly on 1 Jan 2020 started having difficulty breathing and like your kitty had his mouth open, gasping, stretching, twisting, looking at me in horror. I didn't know what to do, I picked him up and massaged him and he slowly settled down and went back to normal. I figured it was just a reaction to something, he was a healty cat as far as I knew. He just had a dental extraction and cleaning a year earlier. I now know that he almost died right there and then a horrible death. Fast forward 4 days on 5 Jan 2020 he was again struggling to breath a little and he hadn't eaten anything all day but at the same time was still his playful self and just wanted to cuddle. Him not eating concerned me more than his heavy breathing so I took him to the emergency vet where they did x-rays and put him on oxygen. They found his lungs full of liquid and his heart so enlarged it was pushing up against his windpipe. They told me I needed to put him to sleep. I was shocked and burst into tears. I told them I needed some time to make some calls and do some research. I couldn't really find anything on the net but I came across your post and that helped make my decision. I didn't want Dusty to suffer so I sat with him, cuddled him, told him I loved him and we set his spirit free. I'm sorry you didn't know what to expect, I'm sorry your kitty suffered, and I hope you find peace in knowing that your post will help many others to do the right thing. Thank you so much for your post and I pray you find love and peace as many others will thanks to you.
I'm deeply saddened to hear of the loss of your kitty, Dusty. Thank you for sharing and may he rest eternally at Rainbow Bridge til you see him again (and you will, I know it). Thank you for loving and caring for him for all this time.
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to PurpleCheetah
I'm deeply saddened to hear of the loss of your kitty, Dusty. Thank you for sharing and may he rest eternally at Rainbow Bridge til you see him again (and you will, I know it). Thank you for loving and caring for him for all this time.
