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I was bawling just typing that. I've had to euthanize three pets since May. It never gets any easier on me but I take comfort in knowing I didn't let them suffer needlessly.
I am sorry you are going through this now. Sadly, it's what we all face, the price for sharing our lives with these wonderful loving beings.
I have 6 cats and 1 dog waiting for me at the Bridge (so far). Not once has it ever occurred to me to not be there when I honored my promise to not let them suffer, and send them on their way. I believe we owe them that.
Yes it is traumatic. Sometimes more than other times. Be sure you have a compassionate vet. Talk to your vet about your questions and what to expect.
Unless the situation is acute and urgent, your vet should let you be in the room alone with him for a little while. Then vet will come in and give him the sedative shot. Be talking to him during this shot. He may evacuate his bladder or bowels when that happens, so be sure he is on a towel (I always use their favorite blankie or a t-shirt that smells of me).
Vet should leave again and let the two of you have some time.
Vet will come back in and give the fatal dose and he will slip away peacefully with your loving voice in his ears and your loving arms around him.
Don't push it until the last minute and find yourself rushing to an ER stranger vet to end some terrible agony. And yes, no matter how peaceful it is, it hurts. Loss always hurts, you must remember to allow yourself to grieve.
Talk to your cat about it. Ask him to let you know when he's had enough. Tell him you don't want him to have to go a minute longer than he wants to, and you'll be watching for his signal.
And one thing more to remember: A day "too soon" is better than even an hour too late.
I talked to my kitty before. I don't remember what I said but she understood. I know because I had her in my arms and seconds before the tech came in she got out of my arms and on the table. Faced away from me. I kept turning her towards me and she kept turning away.
I hate even thinking about it. I was hysterical afterwards. I fell asleep but woke up looking for her. Calling her. Telling her to sop hiding, come out! I had to take a sedative.
It's hard to do.
But it's better than kitty suffering. I waited too long before and kitty had terrible seizure. blind luck I was there to hold her in my arms but talk about agony.
she should have gone peacefully and painlessly a week sooner. :-(
Jencam - I am sorry for your loss, it is so hard on us when we have to make that decision. I've had a lot of animals in the last 40 years and not one of them died peacefully at home. So we make the hard choice to have a piece of our heart ripped away, we grieve and most of us get another pet like I have done.
My mother woke up to find her dog dead on his blanket. He wasn't very old but had a heart attack. Her cat had feline leukemia and also died on the blanket on her bed. Mine do not go gently into that final goodnight. Then again neither did anyone in my family except a great uncle who died watching TV.
My cat who died a couple of weeks ago died at home lying on her little bed with my t-shirt over her, but if she had lived to the next day, I would have taken her in to be put down. That day she went outside to my fenced-in patio area and slept most of the day under the Alberta spruce then in the garden, but after that her back legs were giving out every few feet. She had stopped eating and drinking three days before. I held her and petted her and told her it was ok to go and that she had always been my favorite. Then I laid her on her bed and covered her with my t-shirt and just kept checking her breathing. She never moved, and around midnight she was gone.
I still miss her so badly. She was the most affectionate cat I ever had. But, now my other female (I have a big black boy, too) who was never partial to me and who would go to Hitler if he was willing to pet her sometimes jumps on my lap or sits next to me the way Mattie used to. It's strange, but also kind of nice.
But oh God, loving animals hurts so bad when they leave.
My cat who died a couple of weeks ago died at home lying on her little bed with my t-shirt over her, but if she had lived to the next day, I would have taken her in to be put down. That day she went outside to my fenced-in patio area and slept most of the day under the Alberta spruce then in the garden, but after that her back legs were giving out every few feet. She had stopped eating and drinking three days before. I held her and petted her and told her it was ok to go and that she had always been my favorite. Then I laid her on her bed and covered her with my t-shirt and just kept checking her breathing. She never moved, and around midnight she was gone.
I still miss her so badly. She was the most affectionate cat I ever had. But, now my other female (I have a big black boy, too) who was never partial to me and who would go to Hitler if he was willing to pet her sometimes jumps on my lap or sits next to me the way Mattie used to. It's strange, but also kind of nice.
But oh God, loving animals hurts so bad when they leave.
So sorry you lost her, but glad you were able to be with her at the end. She knew you loved her.
Run free at the bridge, Mattie.
I'm sorry for your loss but glad Mattie died at home. I wish they lived longer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by catdad7x
So sorry you lost her, but glad you were able to be with her at the end. She knew you loved her.
Run free at the bridge, Mattie.
Peace be with you Mighty Queen.
Thanks, both of you. Peace be with you, too.
I lost Mattie's sister 3 years ago. When we first took in those cats, "temporarily", I had a housemate, a good friend who stayed home and wasn't working while she underwent treatment for lymphoma. She was the one who, along with my daughter, intially said yes to the cats and was the primary cat carer in the beginning. She has since died as well.
So, the story I tell myself is that those two cats and my friend are all together again on the other side. And well and whole.
I had to take my youngest girl (8yrs) in a few months ago. She was the type that loved being up high on anything she could get on and would race up and down the cat trees. One day she started wobbling when walking and kept falling over so I had to put her in my room where she couldn't jump on anything. Vet tried treating for an ear infection first and while that did clear up, her balance issues got extremely worse and she could barely walk. She just laid on my bed all day and would only get down if she had to go to the litter box. (My bed isn't on a frame so it was low to the ground and easier for her to get up/down.) I had to help her to the water and hand feed her and she would only eat a few bites a day. It hurt like hell to make the decision but I did. I had to think about what was best for HER and not be selfish. She hated to be held and wasn't social with strangers. I knew that multiple trips to the vet and attempting all kinds of treatment that may not even work would be horrible for her. She wouldn't be the same cat she was and wouldn't be able to move around like she used to. She had something neurological going on and had had a stroke. Vet agreed that the best option would be to let her go.
I took her in and the receptionist asked ahead of time if I wanted her cremated and if I wanted to take her home. I chose to not cremate and to bury in my yard. She had me pay ahead of time so I wouldn't have to deal with any of that after. Asked if I wanted to be in the room and I said yes. Then she sent me into a small hallway with a few chairs away from everyone else in the main waiting room so that I could have privacy before it was done. Tech called me into a room and explained how it would be done and took her to put an IV in. Brought her back and asked if I wanted some time before it was done. I said yes and he came back about 10 min later and I said I was ready. He went and got the vet who then came in and explained it all to me again. One med that would basically paralyze her so she couldn't feel anything and then the other one. Said that even though she wouldn't feel it, she could hear me so talk to her.
I tried so hard to stay strong but by that point, the choice had broken me and I was crying. I kept telling her it would be okay and that I loved her. Once he put that second med in, it was only a couple seconds and she was gone. She passed on that table with my arms around her and I kissed her head goodbye. It was the hardest thing I've ever done but I couldn't make her go through it alone. I owed her more than that. She was family.
The first week after was ROUGH. I cried daily. I'm crying now writing this. I beat myself up wondering if I made the right choice. What if we found a treatment that worked? But then I would think of her and remind myself that I had to do what was best for her.
That was the first time I had done that. I have 4 more cats so it probably won't be the last. But despite how hard it was for me, I will be there all the way to the end for each one of them. They deserve the respect and love.
I'm so very sorry to hear this. I know words can't help much now but your baby is and WILL be seen again by you someday at Rainbow Bridge where so many of our believed pets await us too. Please try to comfort yourself knowing your baby is in better hands and is not needing to ever suffer again on earth. May you find peace in this time of sadness.
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I just feel empty.
