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I am so sorry, Lily.girl. Losing a fur baby suddenly is one of the toughest journeys for us pet lovers. Know that you did everything possible. Vets sometimes miss signs that we as cat parents notice first because we observe our kitties on a day-to-day basis. Vet are not infallible.
What you're feeling is grief, as is the guilt and self-blame surrounding losing your girl, both of which are normal. A grief support group helped me tremendously with my losses. As much as family, friends and co-workers express their condolences, I found it's short lived. The "it's only a cat" comments were almost as bad as losing my fur kids. We are supposed to get over it and move on. (Losing my two kitties was more difficult than my husband and parents dying, mostly because they were humans, and I was surrounded by support. With the kitties not so much.)
I liken grief to waves in the ocean. One minute feeling ok, the next in utter despair, up and down. There will be a time when the pain lessens, and your warm memories of Lily will make you smile.
Big hug to you! Your Angel Kitty will always be watching over you.
Oh man, seeing this thread I knew it was going to be rough.
You did what you could and in no way is it your fault. I know its little consolation now but it is true that if it is their time it is so. I wish Lily was back with you and in your arms and other than send this offering of peace there's not much more to say. Please try to take comfort in the fact knowing you did not let her suffer anymore and it was rather quick. But I know you'll be haunted by this for awihle. May you find peace and comfort knowing you gave her your best love, and she you, and that is a special bond and memory few really ever get to experience let alone treasure.
You did your best with the information you had. You didn't let her suffer, which is the most loving, yet painful thing you can do.
Heart failure can be unpredictable. Some cats will live quite a while with it. Others will become symptomatic and die very quickly. My vet just had a cat start coughing and one week later, the cat died of heart failure. The cat never had any symptoms, not even a murmur. So if it can happen to a vet, it can happen to anyone. On the other hand, we had a cat with heart failure who had very labored breathing as her first symptom, but improved a lot on the medications and she lived for another 4 months. There is no way to predict how it will go with heart failure.
I know your heart is breaking from grief. We have all been there, and we understand. Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve her loss. Try not to beat yourself up; you did the best you could. Come here for support. Hopefully, with time, the pain will ease a bit and you will be able to smile at the wonderful memories you have of your kitty.
The other reason it's so hard to lose a pet is that, unlike humans, they don't age to us. They are always our babies. People get old and you start to expect you'll lose them, but your cat can be 110 in cats years and they're still your baby kitty. So you never feel ready to let them go.
Hugs to you LilyGirl. I am so sorry that this happened. Be kind to yourself and know that you did the very best that you could. In time, the pain will ease.
I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for your reply. Truthfully reading your responses warmed my heart and really helped me. I appreciate your kindess to an outsider who isn’t a regular on this forum. What an amazing group. I miss our girl every day. Finally the physical nonstop ache in my heart disappeared so I can try to function again. But the pain and loss of her will always be there, the ache ready to strike. And I don’t think I’ll ever not feel guilt. There will always be an emptiness. We were so tremendously lucky that we got to be the ones to bring her home from the shelter that day 6 years ago and be the ones to receive her unconditional sweetness, gentleness and love, and to give her all the love back. I would go through this pain a thousand times for even a second more with her. I can’t believe how short of a time we got with her, but it was an amazing six years loving her and providing for her. And happy and spoiled she was those 6 years. Thank you all again.
Your post about what you and your sweet kitty went through made me tear up. I am super sorry that you had to go through this. I too lost a kitty unexpectedly, and it was very difficult. I ended up adopting another rescue to fill the emptiness in my heart. I felt a bit disloyal doing it at first; I kind of felt psychologically as if I were trying to replace him. But my new kitty was so grateful to get out of the shelter, and I grew attached to him. I no longer feel guilty for doing it. I feel at peace that I have provided a home for a cat who deserved it, and of course I will never forget my other precious boy!
I'm sorry that you (both) went through this. I'm not quite two weeks in from losing my best kitty friend of 16 years. Just know that you did everything you could for your baby and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You gave her a great life for the time that you had together.
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