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Old 10-06-2019, 12:45 PM
 
612 posts, read 1,224,880 times
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Originally posted this under a different post and it was suggested I start a different thread, so here it is. We lost one of our girls 3 weeks a go. Our surviving girl's behavior has changed. They never got along, were both rescues, we went through the quarantine period, slowly introducing them, etc., but they didn't mix, but didn't draw blood or get into physical skirmishes either. Just poked and hissed at each other. We're still grieving, all of us. Have read extensively about introducing companion cats into a household where there is one adult cat. I've read kittens are best, and adopting 2 kittens from the same litter is better than one. We worry our remaining girl will get lonely and doubt we'll ever go on vacation with only her at home (we got pet sitters when there were 2 and they did fine). My spouse is going to visit family down south and I took off work to stay home for 10 days, what a way to burn through vacation time! But I know it would be a stressful week for me and Ash if she was left alone during most of the day for 10 days. She's a nervous nellie which is why she probably ended up in the shelter. We used to joke that they probably got along just fine when no one was home, and Ashley definitely misses Smokey, she constantly looks for her, sleeps where she used to sleep, but can't fill her shoes obviously and we don't expect her to. The thought of adding more cats is somewhat daunting, and we have discussed we'll know when the time is right, if it's right. Friends say "just throw them together and let them work it out" but we worry she'll freak with the addition of more felines even with an appropriate introduction period. She goes crazy when she smells a visiting cat outside, growls, poops on the floor, etc. Takes her a while to recover. But we're wondering if we get kittens instead of an adult cat, it might go better. Cat "experts" say cats tend to be happier with a companion cat(s). It didn't seem to be the case with our 2, but when Smokey passed, Ash was obviously grieving. So what say you about this?
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Old 10-06-2019, 02:44 PM
 
Location: SoCal, but itching to relocate
448 posts, read 244,914 times
Reputation: 594
Quote:
Originally Posted by judd2401 View Post
We lost one of our girls 3 weeks a go. Our surviving girl's behavior has changed. They never got along, were both rescues, we went through the quarantine period, slowly introducing them, etc., but they didn't mix, but didn't draw blood or get into physical skirmishes either. Just poked and hissed at each other. We're still grieving, all of us.

<snip>
My spouse is going to visit family down south and I took off work to stay home for 10 days, what a way to burn through vacation time! But I know it would be a stressful week for me and Ash if she was left alone during most of the day for 10 days.

<snip>
The thought of adding more cats is somewhat daunting, and we have discussed we'll know when the time is right, if it's right. Friends say "just throw them together and let them work it out" but we worry she'll freak with the addition of more felines even with an appropriate introduction period. She goes crazy when she smells a visiting cat outside, growls, poops on the floor, etc. Takes her a while to recover. But we're wondering if we get kittens instead of an adult cat, it might go better. Cat "experts" say cats tend to be happier with a companion cat(s). It didn't seem to be the case with our 2, but when Smokey passed, Ash was obviously grieving. So what say you about this?
(1) It's only been 3 weeks. Give it some time for all of you to adjust. No sense rushing into anything.

(2) Since you've already made arrangements to take time off work this time, so be it. It's not like getting a couple of kittens now would make you suddenly be able to go along. It'd probably be even more important for you to stay home if you did.

(3) You will know if/when the time is right. It's *not* right at present or you would be more certain. Given your cat's apparent aversion to other cats, I'd lean more towards keeping her as an only. After she fully adjusts to that role, you may see her become more social with you and your spouse, and maybe even with a cat sitter if/when you want to leave town.

Sorry for your loss. It ain't easy.
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Old 10-06-2019, 05:11 PM
 
612 posts, read 1,224,880 times
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Thanks for your reply, we had planned to wait several months before we even consider bringing another cat into our home, now would not be a good time, Ash has never been seen by our pet sitters for 5 years now. Whenever someone drives up to the house, she high-tails it and crawls into one of our beds. She's moody, anxious, and mischievous and we love her very much. I'm gathering info about the experience others have had adding cats to a home where there already is one. We're retired but I still work part-time. There would be someone here full-time, if and when we decided to adopt again. When Smokey died, part of us and our home died with her, I know that sounds dramatic, but true. We don't see this place the same anymore, we've done a lot of talk about downsizing into a place where there is no outside maintenance, and taking 1 feline would certainly be easier to move with, than 2 or 3. So we'll heal up a bit and see where it leads us. We got Ash to keep Smoke company when we were weren't here and as I said, we suspect they did fine here alone. I guess we did it more for ourselves than Smoke but Smoke was a tough nut, and Ash is emotionally fragile and gets lonely and sits in the window as we drive down the driveway and is there waiting when we come home. Tends to pull at our heart strings.
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Old 10-06-2019, 06:04 PM
 
11,105 posts, read 15,604,304 times
Reputation: 10031
Quote:
Originally Posted by judd2401 View Post
Thanks for your reply, we had planned to wait several months before we even consider bringing another cat into our home, now would not be a good time, Ash has never been seen by our pet sitters for 5 years now. Whenever someone drives up to the house, she high-tails it and crawls into one of our beds. She's moody, anxious, and mischievous and we love her very much. I'm gathering info about the experience others have had adding cats to a home where there already is one. We're retired but I still work part-time. There would be someone here full-time, if and when we decided to adopt again. When Smokey died, part of us and our home died with her, I know that sounds dramatic, but true. We don't see this place the same anymore, we've done a lot of talk about downsizing into a place where there is no outside maintenance, and taking 1 feline would certainly be easier to move with, than 2 or 3. So we'll heal up a bit and see where it leads us. We got Ash to keep Smoke company when we were weren't here and as I said, we suspect they did fine here alone. I guess we did it more for ourselves than Smoke but Smoke was a tough nut, and Ash is emotionally fragile and gets lonely and sits in the window as we drive down the driveway and is there waiting when we come home. Tends to pull at our heart strings.
Mine also does the same thing ... I feel that pang of guilt looking back at her up on her window perch with those begging blue eyes. And she must know the sound of my car because she is right back there when I pull in the driveway and at the front door before I can open it. Too cute.
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