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Old 10-30-2019, 09:33 AM
2 posts, read 120 times
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I have 3-year-old brother and sister cats. They were inseparable until puberty, at which time the female was spayed. There followed a period when the male wanted to mate with the female and this led to her being afraid of him. Now he still bullies her. Just now, he came into the study, and when he saw her, ran to her to attack her. I rarely see this but it involves swatting her with his paw. She makes growls and runs. This time, my yells stopped him just as he got to her. This no longer seems to be sexual, and I suspect he is jealous because she is closer to me. Lately he has been coming into the study and sleeping on me as I sit in my recliner. I hoped knowing he is equally loved would stop his jealousy or "king of the hill" behavior (if that is what it is). This is not displaced aggression or other emotions. I live on land and there are no other nearby animals. This has a long course of development that I have observed.
My girl cat does not deserve a frightened life with constant attacks. If it doesn't, my options are to neuter him, or to take him to the pound, hoping naively that a home will be found.
A simple question that I hope somebody can provide a definitive answer to: will neutering him stop this behavior?

Thank you.
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Old 10-30-2019, 11:32 AM
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Have you spoken with your vet about this? He should’ve neutered a long time ago.

To answer your question: no one here can answer your question.... his behavior could be due to him being intact or he’s just a bully.

Get him fixed, talk to your vet and find ways to modify his behavior.
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Old 10-30-2019, 03:56 PM
Location: Wisconsin
2,439 posts, read 2,236,630 times
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Please get him neutered!

All of the described behaviors are related to him being intact (being aggressive, mounting her, claiming "his" territory).

However, given that this has been going on for a while, he may continue these behaviors after his neuter. You may need to separate them for a while and re-introduce.

ITA with Kim's comment above. Schedule a neuter ASAP and talk to your vet about the situation. Your female should not have to feel threatened.
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Old 10-30-2019, 04:15 PM
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It's long past time to have him done. He should have been done before he was 6 months old.

Yes he will not be so aggressive when he is no longer constantly and endlessly frustrated. Cats have a biological drive to procreate. It has nothing to do with "sex". Neutering prevents a number of health issues and behavior issues, and cuts down on the overfull shelters.

I agree that re-introductions will need to be done, treating the situation as bringing in a new cat.

In addition you need to evaluate your home and ensure you are providing enough resources for both cats. Enough elevated spaces, at least 3 litter boxes (better 4, not all in the same place) separate meal spots, and so on.
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Old 10-30-2019, 08:43 PM
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Thank you all for the great advice. You are right, I should have had him neutered long ago. I just hated the idea of it, but you are right, and I will make an apt tomorrow. I so appreciate the excellent advice and insights. I hope my two best friends and I can all be on good terms again. It was great when the two of them slept together on my lap before adolescence. I will make a wall between the back two bedrooms/study and the rest of the house and keep them apart. I will finish his platform for which I purchased the lumber. I'll make sure to spend lots of time with him until we reintroduce, and do that slowly.

Does anybody have an opinion of how long I should wait to reintroduce after neutering him? Or ways I might recognize when it is time?

Thank you.

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Old 11-04-2019, 08:29 AM
Location: Wisconsin
2,439 posts, read 2,236,630 times
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Originally Posted by river251 View Post
ong I should wait to reintroduce after neutering him? Or ways I might recognize when it is time?

Thank you.

If you can, I'd wait a few weeks before re-introducing. The hormones remain in the body up to a month and will take time to dissipate. I'd suggest getting a couple of Feliway diffusers in the meantime, one for each cat. They emit a "happy" cat pheremone and may help the tense situation there.
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Old 11-10-2019, 02:50 PM
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Unfortunately not necessarily. I have 3 kittens about 8 months, 7 months, and 6 months in age. The
middle one is female. I adopted her around 3 months old because the oldest boy’s sister had to be put to sleep and I didn’t want him to be lonely. He picked on his sister prior also. All 3 of my cats are fixed. My oldest boy quickly started pouncing on the female to play or bully her. That’s when I decided to get a third kitten, another boy so hopefully they would play together instead of harass the female.

Nope, the oldest boy still picks on her today. She runs and cowers in fear sometimes. It makes me sad. I think he’s just being territorial. He doesn’t pick on the other boy like he does with the female. Calling to him or yelling at him makes no difference. I have to physically get in the way before he will stop, then he keeps trying when he can. I’ve tried Feliway, all of those type of little things but it had no effect.

Hope you can find a solution in your house...
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Old 11-11-2019, 08:11 AM
Location: Amelia View
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It's hard for cat owners to adapt to changing behaviors that come with age progression of our kitties. Just because siblings get along during kittenhood and adolescence does not mean they will in adulthood. Think about cats in the wild. Except for lions who live in prides (and science has not figured out this anomaly), all cats eventually leave their families to go out on their own. Just like with humans, personalities develop with some becoming more dominant than others. Because as pet owners it becomes a scenario when cats can't leave and the meeker are forced to live with more dominant cats, and the dominant ones have to figure out how to adjust to having another cat in his/her territory, it is up to us to give them what they need - ample space, separated feeding places, enough litterboxes - so that no cat dominant nor meek feels the need to "fight" for what he/she needs to survive.

Well-given advice is to neuter your male. The desire to procreate is strong and sometimes constant and not being allowed to do so makes his life miserable. Remove that misery and his life becomes better. And better for your female who can smell and sense his advances which she wants no part of. If you remove that urgency and obsession from his life, that might help your female feel less fearful.

What is instinctive for us humans is to yell or clap our hands to stop an unwanted behavior, but these things can make it worse. Cats hear this stuff and sense our state of mind (What?! What?! What's going on?! Something! So I will stay at alert and keep going!!) and it heightens the already high state of their minds with a reinforcement that the aggressive behavior or the flight instinct must be the correct ones.

The ideal scenario is to recognize that the unwanted behavior is going to happen before it does - I try, but I'm not as successful as I wish. I have been attempting to help two cats tolerate one another by creating happy-happy-joy-joy moments when each is near the other. I will play with them using a stick toy of some kind or hand out treats or something warm-fuzzy like pat one or the other or both. The two are beginning to associate goodness when the presence of the other is part of it. I doubt they will ever be best friends, but they are developing a tolerance. I doubt they will forever remain squabble free, but I can already see that they can be in the same room and within sight of each other and it no longer means automatic "bad blood".

Your sibling kitties may or may not redevelop a "friendship" after the neutering. Each may have grown out of the need for the other as a part of their adult personalities. As for jealousy, cats don't have that emotion in the human sense. What they see when another cat is on your lap, for example, is an intrusion on their turf. Our laps can become part of a cat's territory rather than be neutral territory. It's hard not to react when you have a cat on your lap and another sees it as territory intrusion, but reacting in any kind of negative way reinforces unwanted behavior. The key will be to establish areas as neutral territory so that neither cat feels the stress of always needing to protect his or her territory.
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Old 11-12-2019, 02:30 PM
122 posts, read 54,031 times
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Spay AND neuter your pets please!
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