Cat Aggresssion (moved from another thread) (kitten, food, litter, hair)
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My partner originally had Smudge with a previous girlfriend about 5 years ago. The relationship broke down and my partner was forced to leave without Smudge. During a three week period my partner was made aware of possible abuse towards Smudge including being forced to live on a balcony 2 floors up (Smudge is a house-cat), starvation and probable phsysical abuse (kicking) from his former girlfriend. He's told me that when he first rescued Smudge he had to feed her with heavy duty gloves as she would initially bled him when feeding her. My partner and me got together about 2 and a half years ago and from his description she's come a long way. Originally we did not get along at all. She did not like me from the start. Over the past couple of years we've come a long way. She'll still hiss and spit at me but will at least accept food from my hand peacefully enough and will occassionally let me pet her (only when she's currently being petted by my partner). I also feed her and change her litter as a way of getting closer. The problem is that my partner and me are planning on moving in together into my house due to it being bigger. We've tried having her there for a few days to see if she can adjust but she just seems to revert to an aggressive state. The hissing and spitting is more pronounced and she will pyhsically attack anyone (including my partner who she'll only show any devotion to!) who gets too close. We've had to resort to a water bottle to clear the way before we can even go to the toilet! It's the only way she'll move! We don't want to get rid of her but we're really at the end of our tether! We don't want to put her down as she's still young and is capable of love (more than aparent when you see her and my partner even if on her own terms). We certainly daren't rehouse her because of her aggressive behaviour! Can anybody offer any advice? Please??
Oh, and to address your question... the key is PATIENCE and gentle handling, especially considering the cat's history. Tools like a spray bottle are good for some purposes, but not for a cat who has been abused - it will only make things worse, and break the trust you're trying to build with her. With the right amount of loving care, this cat should eventually learn to trust and love you back. Some cats will always be snippy, like my 8.5 year old Persian (whom I've owned since kittenhood), but continuous aggression is definitely something you need to work through. Don't push yourself on her, and give her some time to come around!
Oh, and to address your question... the key is PATIENCE and gentle handling, especially considering the cat's history. Tools like a spray bottle are good for some purposes, but not for a cat who has been abused - it will only make things worse, and break the trust you're trying to build with her. With the right amount of loving care, this cat should eventually learn to trust and love you back. Some cats will always be snippy, like my 8.5 year old Persian (whom I've owned since kittenhood), but continuous aggression is definitely something you need to work through. Don't push yourself on her, and give her some time to come around!
Gizmo is right...a cats affection comes from trust. And that must be earned in her/his eyes once again.
If you can get down on the floor and just start talking in soft, soothing tones. Offer treats(really good ones, like freeze dried chicken) and have an interactive toy to have her play with...time and patience and hopefully your guy will come around. It will not happen overnight tho...Patience is the key!
Cats really don't like changes in routine, so a few days' trial at your house isn't going to do anyhting good. As you noted, she reverted. If you keep her there permanently, she will adjust eventually. I wouild not do it until your partner moves in - she needs the conmfort of having them around. As noted above by others, no spray bottle and lots of patience. Good luck!
Is there a room in your place you could set up for her when they move in? A smaller space might help her feel safer in the beginning, with places to hide under...(couch or chairs, etc.) Cats really hate change, I remember when I moved into a new apartment many years ago when I lived in Brooklyn...the new apartment had stairs, and both my cats were TERRIFIED of them at first! After a while, their curiosity got the better of them, and you could not get them to stop playing/chasing each other up and down the stairs. Just be gentle & soft-spoken toward her once she gets there...offer yummy treats as others suggested, and show her that she can depend on you. It may take awhile, but with enough love & patience Smudge will hopefully be able to forget the bad stuff and live in the moment...with 2 humans who clearly love & want the best for her...hang in there!!!
Your vet can prescribe a mild sedative that can help with the initial move. After that it just takes time and some patience. My 18 year old cat spent an entire month under the bed in the spare bedroom(thankfully taking bathroom and food breaks) before he accepted his new house.
Good luck.
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Cat Aggression- formally abused cat - PLEASE HELP!
