U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Pets > Cats
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-10-2009, 05:35 PM
 
1,564 posts, read 1,618,505 times
Reputation: 2344

Advertisements

First off, I'm sorry to ask such a morbid question but this is killing me and my husband. Yesterday we got Titi's ashes back and they look like a bag of sand. I have 4 other cats ashes and they are all grayish/whitish with bone chips. They all look nearly identical. Titi's ashes are beige with colored flecks and no bone chips. They look like sand with some cat litter thrown in. We spoke with our vet who can't explain why they look this way. We spoke with the crematorium which we found out does not specialize in cremations. They mainly dispose of medical waste. They assured us the ashes were Titi but we were given no certificate. They said maybe it had something to do with the grinder! Now I can't get that image out of my mind and I don't understand why he would need to go through a grinder. I am sick to my stomach over this. The arrangements were made through our vet. He said he has used this place for over 30 years.

Has any one ever looked at their pet's ashes? Does any one have ashes that look like Titi's? And does any one know how we can have this checked out? I thought getting his ashes back would bring some comfort, having him home again. I need to know because this is tearing us apart. The grief will never go away if I don't get some answers. I apologize for such a morbid question. Can any one help?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-10-2009, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
16,490 posts, read 31,389,235 times
Reputation: 12568
When I pre-paid for my own cremation, I was told that having my ashes scattred was not a good thing b/c bone bits and teeth sometimes were left. Or I could pay extra to have my ashes ground up to make sure nothing was left that was identifiable. Maybe that's what they did.

Or maybe you got back sand, these days anything is possible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2009, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
2,595 posts, read 3,534,332 times
Reputation: 1961
I'm not schooled on this topic but felt your pain as I've had cats pass away and I know how hard it is. I think there is a lot of creedance to what SouthernBelle said about it being ground up again so as to leave it unidentifiable. If they had been doing it for 30 years, I'm sure it's just something they found most people preferred and therefore, did it like that - which is more similar to how they would do humans. And so if they didn't usually do it for cats, they probably also would gear it to humans as well.

Regardless, what I did want to tell you is that Titi knows and appreciates what you do/did for her and knows you loved her/him. Remember the good times and not something a little trivial like this, for your sake.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2009, 09:09 PM
 
1,564 posts, read 1,618,505 times
Reputation: 2344
Puddy...it may seem trivial to you but it is not to me. Every time we had a cat cremated the vet explained what to expect...bone chips/teeth. I have a right to know what is in the bag they gave me. I don't understand how there can be flecks colored pink, green, and blue in his ashes. If these people are doing something illegal then I want and deserve to know. Any and every person who has had a pet cremated there deserves to know. My cat deserved to be respected even in death.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2009, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
2,595 posts, read 3,534,332 times
Reputation: 1961
I think trivial was a poor choice of word for me to use. I didn't mean to make it sound as if it didn't matter, but my hope was to convey that it doesn't affect the great memories you'll have of her or the great memories she had of you.

I agree you should find out, but first look into the innocent -- if their cremation practice was geared more toward human remains (increasingly more grainy and crushed) rather than what you experienced with your other cats. I hope this is the answer because it would put you more at ease the most, and I think if I had a cat, I'd rather that be it rather than what you described with your other cats (teeth/bones visible).

Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2009, 09:28 PM
 
1,564 posts, read 1,618,505 times
Reputation: 2344
Hey Puddy...no harm done. They don't do human cremations and barely do pet cremations. They specialize in medical waste disposal. The other 4 cats were cremated there so that's why I don't understand the difference. The bone chips are small and do not bother me. Go figure. The bag they gave me is just too different from the others. Titi's death was harder on us than the other cats for a lot of reasons. I really don't know why the vet sends them there...it is out of state and there is a pet crematorium less than 20 miles away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2009, 09:46 PM
 
3,730 posts, read 10,895,385 times
Reputation: 2069
I do think to have a private pet creamation, with the ashes returned: It does cost more,
I had 2 small dogs done, and, got the certificate, there seems as tiny bone chips, also. It is also
a grey looking color. I just did not wish them to be buried with all the rest, why I did pay for a private one. You might ask why you did not get a certificate? Maybe you also good check the better business bureau? Not that now it would help. Contact other vets, and see who they use also.
I am feeling for this problem you have.

Last edited by maggiekate; 07-10-2009 at 10:03 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2009, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
16,490 posts, read 31,389,235 times
Reputation: 12568
Pink, green, and blue bits are NOT good in the ashes. I agree you need to do some more investigating.

I contribute to DELTA Rescus in Calif, which is a large no-kill, no-adoption shelter for animals abandonned in the wilderness. He looked into animal cremation when a horse was supposedly cremated and what he got back was nowhere NEAR what a horse's ashes should weigh. It was a scandal that is still ongoing. Suffice it to say you should google the group and read about it yourself.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-11-2009, 06:52 AM
 
Location: California
9,796 posts, read 24,482,052 times
Reputation: 21532
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
Pink, green, and blue bits are NOT good in the ashes. I agree you need to do some more investigating.

I contribute to DELTA Rescus in Calif, which is a large no-kill, no-adoption shelter for animals abandonned in the wilderness. He looked into animal cremation when a horse was supposedly cremated and what he got back was nowhere NEAR what a horse's ashes should weigh. It was a scandal that is still ongoing. Suffice it to say you should google the group and read about it yourself.
Bits of color in the ashes may be due to a collar that was on or blanket she was wrapped in. We had Mia cremated (our past Golden) and they cremated her with the blanket we brought her in with. It was a burgundy color and therefore bits of it are in there. I would have thought it would have been burnt completely, but if you look closely, it can be seen! DH says because the blanket was probably fire-retardent.

Last edited by ShelbyGirl1; 07-11-2009 at 08:20 AM.. Reason: spelling
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-11-2009, 08:21 AM
 
Location: California
9,796 posts, read 24,482,052 times
Reputation: 21532
I am suspect tho, since you didn't get a certificate. I had private cremation for all of my animals...so I would be getting the ashes of only my animals back. I did get a certificate for each. And this crosses 4 different states.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $89,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Pets > Cats

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top