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Old 07-06-2012, 03:55 PM
 
1,040 posts, read 699,782 times
Reputation: 291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summering View Post
I love the Carolina's and I find the people just so polite and interesting. I have stood at the beach and talked to local "strangers" for half hours to over an hour. Sometimes about dogs. Sometimes about the area, or even about fishing here.
As a transplanted Northerner I find this to be an endearing trait. People who would take the time to talk to others so sincerely, that they may never meet again.
Some living habits are different here but it doesn't mean they are wrong.
I can't drink Sweet Tea, it is just too sweet for me. ( although some places do make it less sweet) I don't mean to insult anyone when I have to refuse it.
The "North" in me came out at the Christmas Tree farm ,when so many of the trees for sale as Christmas trees were just border trees in my former states. I giggled about it though, and thought it was interesting. I was learning something new and different then I had known before. I couldn't cut a tree but went to the stack of NC Fraser Fir. Old habits die hard.
When I say somethings are different it is not to insult this area and people I love in SC. I like most differences.
I love that its calmer then up North, perhaps slower by a bit and thats fine by me.
I love the people, the accent, and the welcome feeling.
I don't feel I am unwelcomed here at all. Some may... who are too loud, too fast, too pushy or too vocal. Just because that style doesn't fit so well in this Southern place.
I've said this before, to the Northerners it feels "slower" because service in the south is as much about the interaction as it is the service. In the North, it is less about the interaction and more about the task at hand and quick less personal service. I prefer the interaction and "southern" way, where-as someone else might get annoyed by that. This is one reason this Northerner loves the South. Even going through a drive-thru feels more pleasant in the south.

I meet so many kind people as well. I've never met anyone who has put up a wall when I've said I'm from Maine....never. My favorite place to meet people is fishing on the docks/piers. I feel so fortunate to have been in the company of the kindest strangers ever.

I have heard people speak negatively of "Yankees" but for some reason I don't think they realize I am one or I get "you don't count"....lol. There is a vibe and it is hard for me to explain because I feel like my words contradict one another because I can't find the words to articulate it. The vibe isn't as negative as the original poster explains it, though.

 
Old 07-06-2012, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Goose Creek, SC
870 posts, read 946,596 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprouts View Post
Is this meant for me? I didn't think you were being offensive, not at all. I don't think anyone should live where they aren't happy. I LOVE the Carolinas and have always felt welcomed. Invaders might not have been the appropriate word. I hope I wasn't being offensive because it is just a pattern I've seen and I don't think it is as negative as the original poster makes it sound. I think there is a natural human trait to enjoy things "the way they were" and a boost in population changes things.
Not all of it. I took the invasion thing and ran with it is all.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 04:02 PM
 
1,259 posts, read 1,095,293 times
Reputation: 693
I'm from the the northeast originally and have lived in Charleston for a year/spent time in the area for about 3 years now and I haven't really noticed any kind of southern resentment. Most of the friends I've made in the area are either native to Charleston or native to the south. We sometimes joke about the differences/stereotypes between the north and south
but all in good fun. However, I have embraced southern culture and find it to be much more suitable to my personality than places in the northeast.

I have one native Charleston friend who resents tourists but it's not a northern hate as he hopes to move north at some point in the future.

I can understand natives not embracing the influx of northern transplants into their area however. Imagine if you lived here for 40 years and over that time you've seen the cost of living increase, the traffic and congestion increase,etc. You might begin to wish all the transplants would find some place else to migrate. I think that's just human nature.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 04:35 PM
Status: "No one is listening until you fart" (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: Mount Pleasant, SC
6,720 posts, read 2,960,409 times
Reputation: 3092
I've hesitated writing on this thread but here goes. I grew up in Southern Georgia so for me, Charleston IS north. Where I grew up, no one ever moved there from out of town and it is that quintessential Southern small town. As a teenager, I went to boarding school up North in Connecticut. Then, as an adult, I settled here in the Charleston area. This has allowed me to see the differences and they are quite stark upon reflection.

Perhaps a little understanding of our position here would go a long ways. Whether it be in the news, from movies, or from comedians, the South is stereotyped as a dumb, redneck, and racist region. Are we defensive because of those stereotypes? Yes, but wouldn't you be? In addition, there is this misnomer that Southern hospitality means a cloying sweetness that extends in all interactions. That's NOT what Southern hospitality means. It means that we are polite in everyday interactions: from holding open a door, saying hello as we pass you on the street, or chatting you up in the grocery line. This does not mean that we automatically become your friend or want to include you in all of our activities, etc. We're actually a guarded people in this respect, much like I found from people up North. Now why is that? That's a bit of a complex answer.

First, there is this feeling of being inundated by people that are not like ourselves. We value traditions, family, and our lifestyle quite vehemently. Just look at Mt Pleasant and what its become and you can quickly see what happens when you're inundated by people from other areas. Suddenly, homes are no longer affordable, the waterways you have fished for years are crowded, and that sleepy Southern town you called home is not the same place with new stores, crowded roads, etc. This does rub some people the wrong way. In these circumstances, it's easier to blame "Yankees" as whole for this since you haven't put a face to it. However, upon meeting them individually, you may like them and even call them a friend. That Yankee then becomes 'not one of those' and is accepted. It's just a matter of getting past that first guarded expression.

Upon meeting and getting to know Southerners on a more personal interaction, the quickest way to be excluded and shunned is to say "well, back home we...". Gotta tell you. We don't care. We are a bit provincial and perfectly happy being so. We cling to the old ways and are perfectly happy doing so. We like things to move slow and prefer constancy over change. It seems odd to some people but we feel no need to explain our reasons for this; after all, this is our home.

We're a lyrical people and the oral tradition is alive and well in the South. We are raised on stories on how our grandparents, great-grandparents, etc did it. Go into the kitchen of any Southern woman and you'll see this in action. That woman will make biscuits, fried chicken, etc just like her Mama did it and her Mama before her. She might make very small changes but ultimately her knowledge and methods is based on history and tradition; she will pass this down to her own daughter.

We're not an ignorant people; we're a resilient one. In this world where change is the norm and tradition is looked at as antiquated, we pride ourselves on being stubborn to these changes and maintaining our traditional way of life. When you are talking about how something or another should be changed and that Southerner you are talking to starts getting a little deeper of an accent, rocks back on his heels, and uses some quaint little saying, they're actually telling you something. Tread carefully. You aren't just telling that Southerner your opinion that something should change. You're telling that Southerner that the way he's done something, his father's done something, and his grandfather's way of doing something is wrong. That's what the Southerner hears. He takes it as an insult. Think on that carefully before you 'suggest' something should change about this place you now call home.

We are a friendly people but we are also guarded. You see this from Northerners as well. The primary difference between us and Northerners is that we think being polite, even in our exclusion of others, is a necessary part of life. Some find this challenging to get used to but it's just the way we do things. Be open, be friendly, and by all means, embrace our culture and you will find a fierce friend in the Southerner. Don't embrace our culture and you'll get nice smiles to your face but never an invite into our home.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Here, finally
1,185 posts, read 792,356 times
Reputation: 237
Bwahahaha
 
Old 07-06-2012, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Sunshine N'Blue Skies
13,313 posts, read 13,356,430 times
Reputation: 11450
Quote:
Originally Posted by southbel View Post
I've hesitated writing on this thread but here goes. I grew up in Southern Georgia so for me, Charleston IS north. Where I grew up, no one ever moved there from out of town and it is that quintessential Southern small town. As a teenager, I went to boarding school up North in Connecticut. Then, as an adult, I settled here in the Charleston area. This has allowed me to see the differences and they are quite stark upon reflection.

Perhaps a little understanding of our position here would go a long ways. Whether it be in the news, from movies, or from comedians, the South is stereotyped as a dumb, redneck, and racist region. Are we defensive because of those stereotypes? Yes, but wouldn't you be? In addition, there is this misnomer that Southern hospitality means a cloying sweetness that extends in all interactions. That's NOT what Southern hospitality means. It means that we are polite in everyday interactions: from holding open a door, saying hello as we pass you on the street, or chatting you up in the grocery line. This does not mean that we automatically become your friend or want to include you in all of our activities, etc. We're actually a guarded people in this respect, much like I found from people up North. Now why is that? That's a bit of a complex answer.

First, there is this feeling of being inundated by people that are not like ourselves. We value traditions, family, and our lifestyle quite vehemently. Just look at Mt Pleasant and what its become and you can quickly see what happens when you're inundated by people from other areas. Suddenly, homes are no longer affordable, the waterways you have fished for years are crowded, and that sleepy Southern town you called home is not the same place with new stores, crowded roads, etc. This does rub some people the wrong way. In these circumstances, it's easier to blame "Yankees" as whole for this since you haven't put a face to it. However, upon meeting them individually, you may like them and even call them a friend. That Yankee then becomes 'not one of those' and is accepted. It's just a matter of getting past that first guarded expression.

Upon meeting and getting to know Southerners on a more personal interaction, the quickest way to be excluded and shunned is to say "well, back home we...". Gotta tell you. We don't care. We are a bit provincial and perfectly happy being so. We cling to the old ways and are perfectly happy doing so. We like things to move slow and prefer constancy over change. It seems odd to some people but we feel no need to explain our reasons for this; after all, this is our home.

We're a lyrical people and the oral tradition is alive and well in the South. We are raised on stories on how our grandparents, great-grandparents, etc did it. Go into the kitchen of any Southern woman and you'll see this in action. That woman will make biscuits, fried chicken, etc just like her Mama did it and her Mama before her. She might make very small changes but ultimately her knowledge and methods is based on history and tradition; she will pass this down to her own daughter.

We're not an ignorant people; we're a resilient one. In this world where change is the norm and tradition is looked at as antiquated, we pride ourselves on being stubborn to these changes and maintaining our traditional way of life. When you are talking about how something or another should be changed and that Southerner you are talking to starts getting a little deeper of an accent, rocks back on his heels, and uses some quaint little saying, they're actually telling you something. Tread carefully. You aren't just telling that Southerner your opinion that something should change. You're telling that Southerner that the way he's done something, his father's done something, and his grandfather's way of doing something is wrong. That's what the Southerner hears. He takes it as an insult. Think on that carefully before you 'suggest' something should change about this place you now call home.

We are a friendly people but we are also guarded. You see this from Northerners as well. The primary difference between us and Northerners is that we think being polite, even in our exclusion of others, is a necessary part of life. Some find this challenging to get used to but it's just the way we do things. Be open, be friendly, and by all means, embrace our culture and you will find a fierce friend in the Southerner. Don't embrace our culture and you'll get nice smiles to your face but never an invite into our home.
Very nicely written southbel. I think that explains everything quite well.
I just want to add that sometimes " well back home" means just that. It doesn't mean I/We want changes though. When I say "back home" it is only a statement of difference, not a statement to change anything.

When I was at the Christmas Tree farm here in SC I think I said " well back home" a bunch. I certainly didn't want to change this dynamic farm in any way. I sincerely meant that we didn't grow some of the variety I was looking at. It was amazing to me to learn this difference.

When I say our normal tea "back home" is a light sugar and lemon tea, I don't want that southern
Sweet Tea to disappear. It is part of this coulture.

Back home isn't always meaning " please change this", it is just a statement, and it doesn't mean ( to me anyhow) things should change here in the least.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 05:25 PM
 
5,068 posts, read 1,890,814 times
Reputation: 2358
Quote:
Originally Posted by southbel View Post
I've hesitated writing on this thread but here goes. I grew up in Southern Georgia so for me, Charleston IS north. Where I grew up, no one ever moved there from out of town and it is that quintessential Southern small town. As a teenager, I went to boarding school up North in Connecticut. Then, as an adult, I settled here in the Charleston area. This has allowed me to see the differences and they are quite stark upon reflection.

Perhaps a little understanding of our position here would go a long ways. Whether it be in the news, from movies, or from comedians, the South is stereotyped as a dumb, redneck, and racist region. Are we defensive because of those stereotypes? Yes, but wouldn't you be? In addition, there is this misnomer that Southern hospitality means a cloying sweetness that extends in all interactions. That's NOT what Southern hospitality means. It means that we are polite in everyday interactions: from holding open a door, saying hello as we pass you on the street, or chatting you up in the grocery line. This does not mean that we automatically become your friend or want to include you in all of our activities, etc. We're actually a guarded people in this respect, much like I found from people up North. Now why is that? That's a bit of a complex answer.

First, there is this feeling of being inundated by people that are not like ourselves. We value traditions, family, and our lifestyle quite vehemently. Just look at Mt Pleasant and what its become and you can quickly see what happens when you're inundated by people from other areas. Suddenly, homes are no longer affordable, the waterways you have fished for years are crowded, and that sleepy Southern town you called home is not the same place with new stores, crowded roads, etc. This does rub some people the wrong way. In these circumstances, it's easier to blame "Yankees" as whole for this since you haven't put a face to it. However, upon meeting them individually, you may like them and even call them a friend. That Yankee then becomes 'not one of those' and is accepted. It's just a matter of getting past that first guarded expression.

Upon meeting and getting to know Southerners on a more personal interaction, the quickest way to be excluded and shunned is to say "well, back home we...". Gotta tell you. We don't care. We are a bit provincial and perfectly happy being so. We cling to the old ways and are perfectly happy doing so. We like things to move slow and prefer constancy over change. It seems odd to some people but we feel no need to explain our reasons for this; after all, this is our home.

We're a lyrical people and the oral tradition is alive and well in the South. We are raised on stories on how our grandparents, great-grandparents, etc did it. Go into the kitchen of any Southern woman and you'll see this in action. That woman will make biscuits, fried chicken, etc just like her Mama did it and her Mama before her. She might make very small changes but ultimately her knowledge and methods is based on history and tradition; she will pass this down to her own daughter.

We're not an ignorant people; we're a resilient one. In this world where change is the norm and tradition is looked at as antiquated, we pride ourselves on being stubborn to these changes and maintaining our traditional way of life. When you are talking about how something or another should be changed and that Southerner you are talking to starts getting a little deeper of an accent, rocks back on his heels, and uses some quaint little saying, they're actually telling you something. Tread carefully. You aren't just telling that Southerner your opinion that something should change. You're telling that Southerner that the way he's done something, his father's done something, and his grandfather's way of doing something is wrong. That's what the Southerner hears. He takes it as an insult. Think on that carefully before you 'suggest' something should change about this place you now call home.

We are a friendly people but we are also guarded. You see this from Northerners as well. The primary difference between us and Northerners is that we think being polite, even in our exclusion of others, is a necessary part of life. Some find this challenging to get used to but it's just the way we do things. Be open, be friendly, and by all means, embrace our culture and you will find a fierce friend in the Southerner. Don't embrace our culture and you'll get nice smiles to your face but never an invite into our home.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^this is it^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Very well put.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 05:39 PM
 
5,068 posts, read 1,890,814 times
Reputation: 2358
Quote:
Originally Posted by annabeachlove View Post
Ok so I was just wondering from the "southern" people ("northern") can post too but, it's prominetly the "southern" people. Ok so what do you hold against "northern" people? And I mean the typical answers are, "drive to fast.." and sterotypical stuff like that. but actually that's not true. I mean northern people never complain about southern people but in charleston it seems like they kind of close you out if they find out your from the north. I mean its just a different state!!! What happened to "southern hospitality" in charleston? We are all people.


It seems that the problems that you are having (or think you are having) with the people here is your own fault. I am a native Charlestonian and I don't know a person that would treat anyone like you say you have been treated. I welcome people from any area of the country or world that wants to make a home here. I have known some people from the North that have been know it all and loud and that does tend to turn people off. The majority that move here are not like that. One of my best friends is a transplant from Pennsylvania. Maybe you should ask yourself what you may be doing to effect people that way.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 05:39 PM
 
4,163 posts, read 3,481,177 times
Reputation: 739
Moved from Toronto Canada to Atlanta area -- two different areas, and now live in Charleston. Biggest difference for me -- diversity and weather. I spent 12 years in Bermuda, 26 years in Canada and now 15 years in the south.
Up north there is so much diversity, so many cultures, so many people from all over, you don't constantly analyze why or how you are different -- you just are in some ways and not in so many others. Every region, every culture has stories, kitchen traditions, lyrical accents, manners, traditions.

There are differences with food, with language or sayings but other than that -- human nature is human nature. We really aren't that different.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 05:40 PM
 
4,163 posts, read 3,481,177 times
Reputation: 739
Sometimes we share our past experiences to connect -- it may be the same -- or it may be different...but we are sharing -- not saying one is better than the other.
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