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Old 07-06-2012, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Mt Pleasant, SC
638 posts, read 1,412,395 times
Reputation: 460

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Quote:
Originally Posted by annabeachlove View Post
Ok so I was just wondering from the "southern" people ("northern") can post too but, it's prominetly the "southern" people. Ok so what do you hold against "northern" people? And I mean the typical answers are, "drive to fast.." and sterotypical stuff like that. but actually that's not true. I mean northern people never complain about southern people but in charleston it seems like they kind of close you out if they find out your from the north. I mean its just a different state!!! What happened to "southern hospitality" in charleston? We are all people.
I think the one thing that has bothered me the most in the last few decades has been the influx of non-Southerners taking advantage of the beauty of the area and then destroying it. People/developers who were able to sell high where they came from and buy low in coastal Southern areas; picking up land/homes cheap in coastal areas, tearing out ancient oaks, making Levittown subdivisions, raising land values to the point that locals could no longer afford to live or buy in their own home town areas. And I'm not just talking about the Charleston area.. the whole Southern east coast has been through transformations, but Charleston has seen it's Southern style of living interrupted/destroyed worse than most others over the last few decades from what I've seen.

Not that many years ago I'd drive thru Mt Pleasant and it was rural.. no stoplights, just trees and land, and I thought "oh, how I'd love to live here". Now it's overdeveloped, citified, dominated by out-of-town developers and out-of-town buyers from wealthier areas who have basically taken over the area with the help of southern city governments and wealthier landowners looking to increase their pocketbooks.

Even this forum is dominated by transients, out-of-towners. We are all people, yes, I agree. The problems come when one group takes over and wants to change everything. I still smile and talk to people on the beach, whoever they might be; but nine times out of ten, they're usually not locals.

 
Old 07-06-2012, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Sunshine N'Blue Skies
13,320 posts, read 20,154,374 times
Reputation: 11645
Quote:
Originally Posted by moneill View Post
Sometimes we share our past experiences to connect -- it may be the same -- or it may be different...but we are sharing -- not saying one is better than the other.
Exactly!
 
Old 07-06-2012, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Meggett, SC
10,666 posts, read 9,054,483 times
Reputation: 5948
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summering View Post
Very nicely written southbel. I think that explains everything quite well.
I just want to add that sometimes " well back home" means just that. It doesn't mean I/We want changes though. When I say "back home" it is only a statement of difference, not a statement to change anything.

When I was at the Christmas Tree farm here in SC I think I said " well back home" a bunch. I certainly didn't want to change this dynamic farm in any way. I sincerely meant that we didn't grow some of the variety I was looking at. It was amazing to me to learn this difference.

When I say our normal tea "back home" is a light sugar and lemon tea, I don't want that southern
Sweet Tea to disappear. It is part of this coulture.

Back home isn't always meaning " please change this", it is just a statement, and it doesn't mean ( to me anyhow) things should change here in the least.
I understand that, I do. However, many times that is not the case when someone says that. Thus, we are sensitive and perhaps a bit too much when people do this. There's a LOT of regional pride for people from the South. If you remember that, you should get along just fine. We appreciate inquisitiveness but we shun scorn. I'm sure you've seen the difference between the two from people. It's not too hard to get along with us down here; we're pretty friendly all in all but we do have our pride.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Pure Michigan!
4,348 posts, read 7,435,466 times
Reputation: 6785
No comment on the OP's remarks, because I have never lived in the South. However, whenever I hear of Southerners not liking Northerners, I always wonder if it is all Northerners that they dislike or mainly those from particular parts of the North. I am originally from a small, farming community in NW Ohio. I now live in a small farming community in SE Michigan. The people here are nice, down to earth, friendly, helpful, and yes, conservative, in most cases. We are honestly much more like Southerners in philosophy and disposition than like Northerners from places like NYC, New Jersey, Massachusetts, etc. and I hate to think that we would be lumped into one big group based simply on which side of the Mason-Dixon Line we live on.

Where I live, people drive pickup trucks (and it's not unheard of to see a Confederate flag here and there), shoot the breeze over the fence with their neighbors, go to church on Sundays, and aren't necessarily always in a hurry, and we're about as geographically north as you can get without actually being in Canada!

Funny, but I recently met a sweet lady at work who just moved up here from Alabama with her husband so that he could attend a university in our area. She told me that the biggest shock of moving north for the first time in her life was how very friendly, down to earth, and pleasant the people here are..."just like people in Alabama!" She had somehow gotten the misinformed opinion that we are all cold, liberal, busy, money hungry, and rude. She said that she absolutely loves it here and can't wait to see her first "real winter".

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it really ticks me off when all Northerners are lumped into the same group. Maybe there are areas of the North where people do fit the above stereotype, but I wish that people would actually come here, meet people, and form realistic opinions of them, just as I know that native Southerners do not appreciate being lumped into that tired, inaccurate, and terribly offensive old "good ole boy", marry your cousin, drinkin' moonshine stereotype by ignorant Northerners who don't bother to see how things really are for themselves.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 07:22 PM
 
1,094 posts, read 1,797,354 times
Reputation: 329
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maryjane55us View Post
I think the one thing that has bothered me the most in the last few decades has been the influx of non-Southerners taking advantage of the beauty of the area and then destroying it. People/developers who were able to sell high where they came from and buy low in coastal Southern areas; picking up land/homes cheap in coastal areas, tearing out ancient oaks, making Levittown subdivisions, raising land values to the point that locals could no longer afford to live or buy in their own home town areas. And I'm not just talking about the Charleston area.. the whole Southern east coast has been through transformations, but Charleston has seen it's Southern style of living interrupted/destroyed worse than most others over the last few decades from what I've seen.

Not that many years ago I'd drive thru Mt Pleasant and it was rural.. no stoplights, just trees and land, and I thought "oh, how I'd love to live here". Now it's overdeveloped, citified, dominated by out-of-town developers and out-of-town buyers from wealthier areas who have basically taken over the area with the help of southern city governments and wealthier landowners looking to increase their pocketbooks.

Even this forum is dominated by transients, out-of-towners. We are all people, yes, I agree. The problems come when one group takes over and wants to change everything. I still smile and talk to people on the beach, whoever they might be; but nine times out of ten, they're usually not locals.
This is a coastal dynamic all over. In Maine we blamed the rich from ny, ma, and connecticut. People relocate much more now because technology makes relocating so easy...careers and homes.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Near the water
8,231 posts, read 11,618,820 times
Reputation: 3878
Quote:
Originally Posted by annabeachlove View Post
Ok so I was just wondering from the "southern" people ("northern") can post too but, it's prominetly the "southern" people. Ok so what do you hold against "northern" people? And I mean the typical answers are, "drive to fast.." and sterotypical stuff like that. but actually that's not true. I mean northern people never complain about southern people but in charleston it seems like they kind of close you out if they find out your from the north. I mean its just a different state!!! What happened to "southern hospitality" in charleston? We are all people.
Seriously?
 
Old 07-06-2012, 07:31 PM
 
23,247 posts, read 12,339,055 times
Reputation: 7368
I think it is human nature to 'blame' some group -- preferably not your group -- when you don't like what is happening.

You don't here New Yorkers complain because 'outsiders' buy up the land in Manhattan raising prices...................
 
Old 07-06-2012, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Summerville
7,934 posts, read 15,102,824 times
Reputation: 1351
Quote:
Originally Posted by annabeachlove View Post
I think YOU GUYS need to look at the date of when the civil war ended. We are all people, why does it matter where we're from?! And what I mean is when your in the north everyone talks so highly of how nice southern people are and when you're down the south all they do is trash the north. Doesn't seem right...
It has nothing to do with the War of Northern Aggression it has to do with Reconstruction, read some history......
 
Old 07-06-2012, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Bishkek
1,978 posts, read 1,820,850 times
Reputation: 1247
Quote:
Originally Posted by southbel View Post
I've hesitated writing on this thread but here goes. I grew up in Southern Georgia so for me, Charleston IS north. Where I grew up, no one ever moved there from out of town and it is that quintessential Southern small town. As a teenager, I went to boarding school up North in Connecticut. Then, as an adult, I settled here in the Charleston area. This has allowed me to see the differences and they are quite stark upon reflection.

Perhaps a little understanding of our position here would go a long ways. Whether it be in the news, from movies, or from comedians, the South is stereotyped as a dumb, redneck, and racist region. Are we defensive because of those stereotypes? Yes, but wouldn't you be? In addition, there is this misnomer that Southern hospitality means a cloying sweetness that extends in all interactions. That's NOT what Southern hospitality means. It means that we are polite in everyday interactions: from holding open a door, saying hello as we pass you on the street, or chatting you up in the grocery line. This does not mean that we automatically become your friend or want to include you in all of our activities, etc. We're actually a guarded people in this respect, much like I found from people up North. Now why is that? That's a bit of a complex answer.

First, there is this feeling of being inundated by people that are not like ourselves. We value traditions, family, and our lifestyle quite vehemently. Just look at Mt Pleasant and what its become and you can quickly see what happens when you're inundated by people from other areas. Suddenly, homes are no longer affordable, the waterways you have fished for years are crowded, and that sleepy Southern town you called home is not the same place with new stores, crowded roads, etc. This does rub some people the wrong way. In these circumstances, it's easier to blame "Yankees" as whole for this since you haven't put a face to it. However, upon meeting them individually, you may like them and even call them a friend. That Yankee then becomes 'not one of those' and is accepted. It's just a matter of getting past that first guarded expression.

Upon meeting and getting to know Southerners on a more personal interaction, the quickest way to be excluded and shunned is to say "well, back home we...". Gotta tell you. We don't care. We are a bit provincial and perfectly happy being so. We cling to the old ways and are perfectly happy doing so. We like things to move slow and prefer constancy over change. It seems odd to some people but we feel no need to explain our reasons for this; after all, this is our home.

We're a lyrical people and the oral tradition is alive and well in the South. We are raised on stories on how our grandparents, great-grandparents, etc did it. Go into the kitchen of any Southern woman and you'll see this in action. That woman will make biscuits, fried chicken, etc just like her Mama did it and her Mama before her. She might make very small changes but ultimately her knowledge and methods is based on history and tradition; she will pass this down to her own daughter.

We're not an ignorant people; we're a resilient one. In this world where change is the norm and tradition is looked at as antiquated, we pride ourselves on being stubborn to these changes and maintaining our traditional way of life. When you are talking about how something or another should be changed and that Southerner you are talking to starts getting a little deeper of an accent, rocks back on his heels, and uses some quaint little saying, they're actually telling you something. Tread carefully. You aren't just telling that Southerner your opinion that something should change. You're telling that Southerner that the way he's done something, his father's done something, and his grandfather's way of doing something is wrong. That's what the Southerner hears. He takes it as an insult. Think on that carefully before you 'suggest' something should change about this place you now call home.

We are a friendly people but we are also guarded. You see this from Northerners as well. The primary difference between us and Northerners is that we think being polite, even in our exclusion of others, is a necessary part of life. Some find this challenging to get used to but it's just the way we do things. Be open, be friendly, and by all means, embrace our culture and you will find a fierce friend in the Southerner. Don't embrace our culture and you'll get nice smiles to your face but never an invite into our home.
Wow; did you hit the nail on the head. Very good indeed.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 08:11 PM
 
23,247 posts, read 12,339,055 times
Reputation: 7368
good point Tom. I also think now it is an 'excuse' to complain about anything that doesn't work in the area. Everything is the fault of those that aren't native.
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