Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The way I see it is, no matter where you go there is a large part of the population that like the people that have lived around them for years.
I ran a bar in Hoboken NJ for 15 years, I’m from Norfolk Va. When you go to the town meetings in Hoboken, people would stand up and talk they would always identify them selves as “Born and Raised” in Hoboken. Earning the name B&R’s. Its everywhere, I think that it is magnified in the South for a few reasons.
1. Northerners tend to be a little impatient, (my wife for example). Don’t.. I repeat Don’t hit the horn when the light changes.. for one we will not mover any faster and two we might get out of the car.
2. We in the South hear: well we had XYZ back in (fill in the blank). The first thing you think as a Southerner is well.. you can go back and find XYZ.
There are other reasons, but you get the idea, Look try to act like you are visiting a valued relative. Use manners, be polite. You will be surprised that golden rule works quite well.
I find it interesting that people from the North East where people honk their horn the moment the light turns are PO when someone gives them a slight.
The way I feel is this...
I classify "yankees" into two groups...
1. There are Yankees who are great people, easy to get along with, and I'm good friends with, and embrace the Southern way of living. To those Northerners, I say welcome. Then there's group two...
2. Several northerners who I've come into contact with constantly complain about the way it is down here, the traffic, the bad schools, talk to me like I'm an invalid, and basically expect the whole area to change to make it just like New York, or New Jersey, etc, because they are so much better. So, to those types of Northerners, this is what I have to say...
- If traffic is so much better up there, then move back, because that'll be one less car on our roads. (The roads weren't as clogged until you all started moving here anyway)
- If the schools are so bad here, it's not because the school system is pure Southern, I am a College Student, and a Substitute Teacher (so I've been to many, many schools), and let's just say that alot of the teachers, Principals, Superintendents etc, are not originally from the South.
-If you like the North so much then once again, I think I can hear her calling your name. Go back. Otherwise, bite the bullet and be a wo(man) about it.
-The South runs on a different beat than the rest of the world, either get used to it, or leave, it's simple.
Then this is the part where they say that they'll be more than happy to take their tax dollars with them. Well, I say take them with you! Without all these folks living here, we won't have as many roads to maintain, bridges to build, schools to build, teachers to pay, garbage to pick up, and the list goes on and on, but it all boils down to the fact, that hey, all it means is that I won't be taxed to death!
But, if you're a Northerner that truly is a Southerner at heart, and is not moving down expecting people to fit your mold of a Northern society, then ignore that group two, and we'll see you soon!
The way I feel is this...
I classify "yankees" into two groups...
1. There are Yankees who are great people, easy to get along with, and I'm good friends with, and embrace the Southern way of living. To those Northerners, I say welcome. Then there's group two...
2. Several northerners who I've come into contact with constantly complain about the way it is down here, the traffic, the bad schools, talk to me like I'm an invalid, and basically expect the whole area to change to make it just like New York, or New Jersey, etc, because they are so much better. So, to those types of Northerners, this is what I have to say...
- If traffic is so much better up there, then move back, because that'll be one less car on our roads. (The roads weren't as clogged until you all started moving here anyway)
- If the schools are so bad here, it's not because the school system is pure Southern, I am a College Student, and a Substitute Teacher (so I've been to many, many schools), and let's just say that alot of the teachers, Principals, Superintendents etc, are not originally from the South.
-If you like the North so much then once again, I think I can hear her calling your name. Go back. Otherwise, bite the bullet and be a wo(man) about it.
-The South runs on a different beat than the rest of the world, either get used to it, or leave, it's simple.
Then this is the part where they say that they'll be more than happy to take their tax dollars with them. Well, I say take them with you! Without all these folks living here, we won't have as many roads to maintain, bridges to build, schools to build, teachers to pay, garbage to pick up, and the list goes on and on, but it all boils down to the fact, that hey, all it means is that I won't be taxed to death!
But, if you're a Northerner that truly is a Southerner at heart, and is not moving down expecting people to fit your mold of a Northern society, then ignore that group two, and we'll see you soon!
I echo those sentiments. If you have a short fuse, easily complain when things don't go perfectly, or can be less than mannerly, then you are going to get stereotyped as a damnyankee and you will not be well received. On the other hand, if you are a laid back person that has good manners, people are going to like you. Another thing that is a major concern among Southerners is that our culture that we love so much is dying. People not from here dilute our culture even further. While you can't help that, you can help support our culture, which is part of the reason you want to come here. Eat and cook Southern food, support Southern folk art and music, read Southern literature, learn about our history. You don't have to abandon your own culture, but when in Rome do as the Romans.
I haven't had a chance to read all the many pages of posts, but just from gleaning from some I have a question. It's fine for adults to have this type of squabbling among themselves. But are kids from the north -- elementary age kids -- treated differently by either their peers or from the teachers because they're from the north? For instance, are they bullied because of it? This thread has me a tad worried about that. I can handle someone being ticked off that I've moved into their territory, but I couldn't handle my kids being mistreated, particularly by teachers. Anyone have that problem or forsee that as a problem?
I can only speak from my own experiences as a teacher in Charleston for the past 24 years (3 different schools): No, I have never witnessed a student being treated differently because he/she is from up North (or anywhere else). As a matter of fact, my students always get a kick out of hearing about snow, ice, sledding, building snowmen, etc. from their northern classmates. Actually, probably at least 1/3 of the students in my classes are originally from other states. Children from different races, cultures, geographic regions, etc. tend to do a much better job of recognizing, appreciating, and embracing commonalities rather than differences.
I'm going to jump in here and say that my children are friends with children that are from Michigan, Ohio and California. There are no issues there as far as the children are concerned. There is one tiny issue with manners though. My children were raised to say "yes/no ma'am, yes/no sir, thank you, please, etc" and I've noticed that it's not such an issue with children who are not raised here. My children were also not taught to address their elders by their first names either.
I HATE when a child addresses me by my first name or worst yet shortens my name to a nickname! That's not how I grew up and I was born and raised here in MD. Now it seems to be split on how people raise their kids; however, I've started correcting kids that call me by my first name. I feel that it's disrespectful. At one of my son's school the children are taught to refer to you by last name and are taught to say please and thank you. He's at a private school so I don't know if that makes a difference. My other son's school the children are taught to call you by Miss or Mr and your first name. They also teach please and thank you. We've had a lot of people move own here from NJ or NY so maybe that's why things are not consistent. I've lived here all my life and it seems people around here are becoming more and more rude....and that's not just the kids! Everyone nowadays is in such a hurry. People just don't take the time to be polite or say hello or smile when they walk past you. It's weird to me and makes me uncomfortable. Anyway, hope this doesn't offend anyone...just wanted to throw in my 2 cents from a state that southerners consider north and northerners consider south!
[quote=pamptrecy;3129957]I HATE when a child addresses me by my first name or worst yet shortens my name to a nickname! That's not how I grew up and I was born and raised here in MD. Now it seems to be split on how people raise their kids; however, I've started correcting kids that call me by my first name. I feel that it's disrespectful. At one of my son's school the children are taught to refer to you by last name and are taught to say please and thank you. He's at a private school so I don't know if that makes a difference. My other son's school the children are taught to call you by Miss or Mr and your first name. They also teach please and thank you. We've had a lot of people move own here from NJ or NY so maybe that's why things are not consistent. I've lived here all my life and it seems people around here are becoming more and more rude....and that's not just the kids! Everyone nowadays is in such a hurry. People just don't take the time to be polite or say hello or smile when they walk past you. It's weird to me and makes me uncomfortable. Anyway, hope this doesn't offend anyone...just wanted to throw in my 2 cents from a state that southerners consider north and northerners consider south! [/quote
I'm a Northerner, but have lived in Alaska and Mississippi, but Southern children are much more respectful of adults than kids up her. And the problem with that is- is that their parents allow it. I've got friends whose nieces and nephews call them by their first names and not Aunt Carol or Uncle Bob. I was shocked when a 7 year old called her aunt by the name Carol and not Auntie Carol. Children here just don't have the manners or respect that Southerners have- it's just not taught here. Why- I don't know, but it is a shame.
I had a question about the yes ma'am/sir. I am seriously considering a move the the Charleston area. I am in Buffalo, NY right now. I have a 7 and a 10 year old that are very excited about the move.
Unlike a lot of their friends, they have been brought up knowing that it is in no way acceptable to address an elder by anything other that Mr. or Mrs. Last name. That is how I was brought up and I believe it is disrespectful to do otherwise (I am 31 and I still call the parents of my childhood friends Mr. and Mrs. Even after they tell me I don't have to. I just can't do it!!!) And if their friends call me by my first name, I either don't answer or correct them.
Should I start getting them into the habbit of using yes ma'am and sir? Please and thank you aren't even an issue!!! They have had that drilled into them since before they could even talk!!!!
I haven't had a chance to read all the many pages of posts, but just from gleaning from some I have a question. It's fine for adults to have this type of squabbling among themselves. But are kids from the north -- elementary age kids -- treated differently by either their peers or from the teachers because they're from the north? For instance, are they bullied because of it? This thread has me a tad worried about that. I can handle someone being ticked off that I've moved into their territory, but I couldn't handle my kids being mistreated, particularly by teachers. Anyone have that problem or forsee that as a problem?
No, growing up in the South I've had plenty of friends from the North and none of them were ever treated differently for it. In high school, we may have playfully teased our friends from up North. Your children will be treated differently by teachers if they do not have manners. As a child, I spent one year in Minnesota and quickly unlearned my Southern manners. I quit saying "ma'am" and "sir" and addressed adults by their first name. When I returned back South, I quickly relearned them. Those manners aren't just for kids. I don't care if I'm 70, I'll still address an older adult by their title, and so should you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're absolutely right
