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I can relate OTC. My most racist relative is my Italian uncle in Boston who has a Jewish wife, a gay son, one divorced daughter, on daughter who is a mental case, a lifelong habit of mooching off my grandparents and lived half his life financially 'under the table' as they say. But don't worry he'll tick off all the groups of people he is morally/mentally superior to with little prompting. And the gay cousin looks down on the Irish for some reason- which is mind baffling considerring my grandmother was... half Irish?????
Now my Southern relatives do often have this odd racist tilt where they think all the blacks cause problems except for every single black person they have personally dealt with or befriended for any length of time???? So you end up with them making generalizations that they then tell you do not apply to majority of blacks they actually know.
Oh and for kickers my dad had a complete 1950s mentality on race but married a Panamanian Catholic and then a first generation Italian-American Catholic both of whom he met working overseas. I once asked how that conversation went over with his family and looked at me with a very serious expression and said 'there was no need to tell them.' As if his first wife was plainly hispanic and my mother was brutally a Boston area Italian.
How I earned two college degrees after descending from two groups with such faulty reasoning is puzzling to say the least.
I agree, OTC, and have had this discussion many times. Even though my parents are both from the deep South, I was raised in the Midwest for 20 years. We had NO non-white students in our entire school system (from K - 12) and none in any of the 5 farm towns which made up our school district. I didn't even know any blacks or Mexicans in college. The "N" word was used very freely, though....which my parents (remember: both Southerners) frowned upon and would have walloped us if we had even thought about using it. A favorite pastime of the football players from our high school was driving into the city (20 miles away) and "Brooming N***ers" - where they would hang out of the car or truck window and whack black people who happened to be standing on the sidewalks, across the legs. It was awful!!!
Down here I have always had a wonderful relationship with my fellow black teachers, black parents, black neighbors, church members (our church is about 2/3 white, 1/3 black), etc. We attend one another's weddings and funerals - as a matter of fact I attended the funeral of an African American woman yesterday, on Wadmalaw Island. People laugh, joke, share stories, etc. with one another regardless of race here and in the small towns in GA, MS, AL, and VA where my extended family lives. Not so in the midwest.....at least not in the part where I was raised in the 60's and 70's. Even now, I still see the distrust and disrespect of black people when I go back to visit. And yes.....they think that all the prejudice and racism exists only in the South and don't see it in themselves.
I am a black person living just outside of charleston, and I have lived all over the U.S. during my career. You'll see racism everywhere, but no more in the south than anywhere else really. Interestingly enough, speaking in very general terms (I emphasize "general") this is the difference: The North tends to be more prejudice against individual blacks, while accepting of the overall race; while the south tends to be more prejudice against the race, while accepting of the individual black. A black person in the south is more likely to have good friends that are white, non-racist than in the north. This is my 86 year old mother's analogy (again in general terms). Southerners might be seen as prejudice, but it's common to see a white child run home from school and visit a black person's house, sit on the porch with them and eat cookies - but a scene like this is not common in the North. Don't worry about moving down here - overall, you will be most welcome and interracial dating is accepted. When you are an "outsider" try not to be rude and/or judgmental of the "South" because often the prejudice comes from being an outsider and not because you are black. Southerners have have a history of being ridiculed and labeled as ignorant, hillbillies, racists, toothless, poor . . . so if you are an outsider they tend to be suspicious of what you think of them, and anticipate an outsider's knee-jerk contempt for them automatically. One thing is for sure. A southerner will tell you if they are prejudice; a northerner will not-they try to hide it. (again, I'm speaking in general terms).
I vacationed in Charleston back 3 years ago and loved it. I didn't find it to be that racist. Not very diverse, but certainly wasnt racist. Blacks and whites from what I saw seemed to get alone fine. Not saying, there is no racism whatsover, but it's not as bad as one would think.
To tell you the truth, you'll experience more prejudice being from the North down here from Southerners than you will for being black. We've had to deal with a lot of flack so that's where it comes from. Although, we would never be rude upon first meeting you. My mother would kill me for that! We would just tend not to invite those people to our home that feel the need to insult our region. Haven't found this to be a huge issue but it has happened to me on occasion. One lady from Ohio made fun of our cooking a pig!! I just can't get over that...lol!
I am a black person living just outside of charleston, and I have lived all over the U.S. during my career. You'll see racism everywhere, but no more in the south than anywhere else really. Interestingly enough, speaking in very general terms (I emphasize "general") this is the difference: The North tends to be more prejudice against individual blacks, while accepting of the overall race; while the south tends to be more prejudice against the race, while accepting of the individual black. A black person in the south is more likely to have good friends that are white, non-racist than in the north. This is my 86 year old mother's analogy (again in general terms). Southerners might be seen as prejudice, but it's common to see a white child run home from school and visit a black person's house, sit on the porch with them and eat cookies - but a scene like this is not common in the North. Don't worry about moving down here - overall, you will be most welcome and interracial dating is accepted. When you are an "outsider" try not to be rude and/or judgmental of the "South" because often the prejudice comes from being an outsider and not because you are black. Southerners have have a history of being ridiculed and labeled as ignorant, hillbillies, racists, toothless, poor . . . so if you are an outsider they tend to be suspicious of what you think of them, and anticipate an outsider's knee-jerk contempt for them automatically. One thing is for sure. A southerner will tell
you if they are prejudice; a northerner will not-they try to hide it. (again, I'm speaking in general terms).
Well said. With both sides of my family being from the Deep South and my being born in GA but growing up in OH for 25 years then living in SC for the past 26 years, I'm in a good position to compare. You are absolutely correct - people in NW Ohio don't associate with blacks for the most part. They will claim they are not racist or prejudiced, but will say that all Southerners are. However, down here, there is a neighborly relationship between many blacks and whites - attend one another's weddings and funerals, eat together, visit, have long conversations at the Piggly Wiggly, etc. When my mom was growing up on a farm in GA in the 40's, there was a black family who lived down the road on the next farm and the two families traded crops, the men would help one another mend fences or barns, and my grandmother and the other woman would can and freeze together. I certainly did not see any of that in my 25 years in OH!
I have always tried to teach my kids that there is a different in having a 'white friend" and having a friend who just happens to be white. The difference is definition vs. description.
The younger generation is much smarter when it comes to race relations that many of us old folks....many are oblivious to the issues of the past and just want to have a good time with whoever.
And trust me, prejudice is never relegated to just one race and these attitudes can be within any race.
Also I was just wondering if you could tell me about the area a little. I have heard about racism being a problem there, how bad is it? I like to interracial date from time to time and I really would like to know if you see a lot of that down there Finally how is the Nightlife there? I am thinking of moving there for a job at a news station and I just wanted to have an idea on what it is like before I come visit. I have been to Myrtle Beach (I was born in North Carolina) before and didn't have many problems when I was there so I wondered if Charleston is like that as well.
my home is out in mt pleasant, though i live and work in philadelphia. when my wife, White and I Black and our adopted daughter Asian are back in mt pleasant we dont feel any overt racism. we love walking in old mt pleasant, going to have coffee or shopping in town center and we dont feel any sort of racism. we actually meet people at the park or on the beach who talk to us and are very kind. we love walking downtown and going into shops and never have problems or at restaurants and dont have problems. we actually see other IR couples out and about(even on our last trip to the Charleston Farmers Market downtown-we saw another White family with a black adopted daughter)
so it has changed alot. im sure you will find it at the bars when people are drinking, or going out to the outlying areas--that arent known for its education, but downtown it will be only the odd stare from the old guard or racists from the countryside.
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