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Been planning a move for quite some time. Going to Charleston (Mt. Pleasant) Now that we should be moving in a month teenage daughter says no. I expected her to be going through the motions close to the move but now she is completley fighting me with this. She has said absolutley not. It is her first month and half into high school. Was afraid this was going to happen. I do not have to move but I have been looking forward to this for a few years. I understand this is a very difficult time for her to move. what do I do?
As difficult as it may be, you are the parent and she goes with you. She is probably afraid to leave her friends, but she will make new ones. Also, with the Internet and cell phones, she can stay in touch with her old friends. I will say as a teacher that it is not easy to have a student join a class as the second marking period starts. Students have to catch up on the work from the first marking period and they don't want to do that. For that reason, you might want to delay your move until next school year. After all, it should not just be a move made in your best interest. If you do move, make sure that she gets involved in a sport or some type of school activity so that she can make friends right away.
Ooooh, the "h*ll no, I will not go" routine! I performed it many times for my parents when they decided to move me from the only home I'd ever really known.
I knew for several months I would be moving to a different part of my home state shortly after I finished 9th grade. Did it make it any easier? No. But what did help, is my parents had friends who had children my age. I got to meet the teens one trip before the move (as I recall we visited the high school that trip too).
Is there any way you can change your move date? At least until semester? I hate to see children of any age move during the school year.
If you can "compromise" on a later date, start spending as much time as you can in the Charleston area. Visit the school your daughter will be attending. Many schools welcome visitors in for lunch, etc. Call the school counselor to see if they have an ambassador program (students that who are the contacts for new students--my daughter is one and just recently got to show a new student around, had lunch with her, etc.)
If the school doesn't have an ambassador program ask the counselor to find some students who have similar interests as your daughter. Get/give contact info. Facebook is how all the teens (and yes, now adults) are staying in touch these days.
If you're religious, find a place of worship and connect with teens in the church.
Listen to your daughter; be sympathetic. Whatever you do, don't make promises you can't keep (my parents told me our move was only for a year. Wrong. 26 years later I'm in the same town. It did turn out ok
Yeah, I would agree the timing seems to be the thing that will make this move especially tough for your daughter. I like the idea of waiting until the beginning of summer to move to make it easier on her, if at all possible.
I know the timing really stinks but she has been all for the move up until a week ago. I will say she recently has been talking about a boy she likes. May or may not be the reason. I just don't get her sudden mind change. I wanted to move during the summer but it was not possible. Nov 1 is less than 2 months into the school year, so I was hoping it would not be that bad. We go back here after Labor Day. Just don't know what to do. I have always put my daughter first with everything and everyone no matter what. My Dad will be moving with us. He now lives in another state and he is really looking forward to this. I will say if I go through with this, this will be the first time I have thought about what I want, however I am still giving her choices. Even told her she could pick out the place we will be renting. She does make friends easily but she told me tonight that things are finally going well and does not want to move. ??? We are religous and church will be going to church. I have seen a side of her tonight that I have never seen b/f. Cussing, middle finger at me etc...the list goes on.
If you can postpone your move until semester, this boy thing may be over And she'll be looking for a reason to move.
I understand your need to finally do something for yourself. Unless everything is set in stone, (meaning you'll lose money on deposits, lose a job that has been secured, etc.), I still recommend some sort of compromise. Can your daughter stay with a friend until semester?
Keep the lines of communications open. What's really most important is your relationship with your daughter. Right now she's viewing you as the "devil" who is trying to ruin her life forever.
In my case, my father was going back to school. We had to move. That being said, I had one set of grandparents in my old town. I visited them a lot the summer we moved!
No way would I let her live with anyone else. She stays with me.
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