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I've been in Charlotte area for 6 years, after living in 4 other states. My take is that this location is still the Old South in many ways. In each southern state I have lived, including NC, it has taken much longer to get to know people and make real friends, having to prove ones self, where in the north it was always a give-and-take situation.
Also if you are not a far-right-wing Christian, you are in larger trouble from the start.
It's not uncommon to be asked what church I belong to when introduced to a new person.
IMHO the OP is on to something.
Ok, I'm ready to get blasted. Try not to take this personally. It's just my opinion.
I'm sorry, but I disagree with this statement. I have been here 4 years now and find the opposite true. Here it has been very easy to make friends and meet new people. Where as up north people are not as friendly. Down here complete strangers will strike up a conversation with you and rarely ask where you are from. It is other transplants who know that you are not from here and will ask where you moved from and how long ago. And I can say that I have never been asked what church I belong to.
Well, as my dentist told me when I visited him for the first time after moving here, "Its people like "you" that move from FL and NY and jack up our property taxes, cost of living, and property values.".........nice.
If that had been me, I would have gotten up, said c'ya, and found another dentist. There is absolutely no reason to be rude to a stranger and in this case, a paying customer. Not only was he rude, he is a stupid business man. Why would you want to do business with someone like that?
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There are asses everywhere. Bad treatment from one doesn't mean everyone in the area is like that let alone the defining for a region. This topic assumes the South is monolithic which is nonsense.
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nativechief
The reason many transplants have problemS with the locals is the transplants like to say what they like and dont like here AS IF WE LOCALS CARE...WE DONT
Then don't be surprised or offended when transplants don't give a rat's ass about what you think or say.
Well, as my dentist told me when I visited him for the first time after moving here, "Its people like "you" that move from FL and NY and jack up our property taxes, cost of living, and property values.".........nice. And I sat there with my mouth wide open, literally, in shock. This all came out of me wearing a NY Yankees t-shirt and no other conversation about Charlotte other than "where are you from". I thought most of that was a good thing? I have often felt shunned, but have met some really welcoming natives as well.
Really??!! He actually said that to you?? Personally, I would have gotten up out of the chair & very politely said, "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't think you'l be my dentist." The next thing I would have done is report him to whatever ethics board dentist belong to. That was extremely unprofessional of him to say. I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting in his chair...I'd be in fear that he would go all "marathon man" on me with his drill after a remark like that!!!
If that had been me, I would have gotten up, said c'ya, and found another dentist. There is absolutely no reason to be rude to a stranger and in this case, a paying customer. Not only was he rude, he is a stupid business man. Why would you want to do business with someone like that?
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There are asses everywhere. Bad treatment from one doesn't mean everyone in the area is like that let alone the defining for a region. This topic assumes the South is monolithic which is nonsense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BxRosie
Really??!! He actually said that to you?? Personally, I would have gotten up out of the chair & very politely said, "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't think you'l be my dentist." The next thing I would have done is report him to whatever ethics board dentist belong to. That was extremely unprofessional of him to say. I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting in his chair...I'd be in fear that he would go all "marathon man" on me with his drill after a remark like that!!!
I agree! That guy is an !@#%. No need to put up with rudeness especially when you are a paying client.
Well, as my dentist told me when I visited him for the first time after moving here, "Its people like "you" that move from FL and NY and jack up our property taxes, cost of living, and property values.".........nice. And I sat there with my mouth wide open, literally, in shock. This all came out of me wearing a NY Yankees t-shirt and no other conversation about Charlotte other than "where are you from". I thought most of that was a good thing? I have often felt shunned, but have met some really welcoming natives as well.
Did u ever think he might have been joking with you? Dentists tend to kinda have odd senses of humor in my experience. Maybe not the best icebreaker in his case, but I certainly wouldn't have got my panties in a wad over it.
Speaking of icebreakers thats exactly what it is when someone calls you a Yankee btw. Its simply a way to see how you react in most cases. If you get up in arms and ticked off about it, well thats in insight into your personality. If it rolls of your back or you come back with an insightful retort well that shows a little of who you are too. Either way its a 2 minute look into your personna for those that can't spend years getting to know you. I know some will think its harsh to make quick judgements about people but we all can't smile ear to ear, welcome you to Charlotte 100 times, find out your life's history, bake you a cake, tell you what plumber to use only to see you ship out in 2 years when you realize Charlotte is not the worryfree uptopia you were promised by your great aunt's best friend that moved here 10 years ago.
Interesting, this has not been my experience in the 3+ years I've been here at all.
I haven't had one person ask what church I belong to and we've made lots of great friends here.
Your mileage may vary...
Also, where is this "transplants are shunned" sentiment being seen? I don't see any/many threads from transplants saying "why don't people like me?". I'm just curious as to where this perception is coming from, is all.
hooligan, please forgive the delay, been meaning to get to this...have you found a church home yet???
(that's the question people ask, not "which church do you belong to")
^ And FYI for most religious natives the church question isn't about your beliefs. Many people see church as a source of socialization. Besides weekly service, dinners, book clubs, group outings etc are common at many churches. So the question they are really asking newcomers is "Have you found a social network?". They aren't trying to convert you or shame you for having a different belief system.
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
1,851 posts, read 2,146,514 times
Reputation: 1082
Quote:
Originally Posted by hooligan
Interesting, this has not been my experience in the 3+ years I've been here at all.
I haven't had one person ask what church I belong to and we've made lots of great friends here.
Your mileage may vary...
I've been here since May of 1999 and I've had many southerners not only ask me that. But alos try to recruit me to their churches.
You're not embraced until you join their church and chip the 'ole greenbacks into the pot
And even then, it's just the money they're interested in
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