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Old 08-30-2010, 09:11 PM
 
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
21,802 posts, read 27,061,603 times
Reputation: 8884

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyKid View Post
Chief, buddy, pal, hey you... rude. Can't stand those and you hear them in the "north" all the time.

Ma'am and Sir... correct in any situation. In any geography. Anywhere - even Internationally. To associate it as "southern" or "rude" is ludicrous.
Hey Mikey, don't forget the always charming hey! yo!, although, admittedly, in South Philly, it is usually a familiar use, rather than to a stranger.

I have to admit that the least favorite thing that someone ever used to address me & was used by a very brash individual from a city that doesn't have a great relationship with Philadelphia. Hey Trixie!

Trixie?????? I considered kicking him in the shin, but decided that it wasn't worth the potential lawsuit.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:20 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,184,473 times
Reputation: 39838
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagocubs View Post
SB: In your example, a simple "excuse me" would suffice. That way you are not (potentially) insulting the person that you are addressing. Many people find that "Ma'am" or "Sir" is a stab at how old they look, meaning that the terms are (thought to be) reserved for the elderly.

Loves, in the case of a waitress and/or a service clerk, a simple, "hi" or "thank you" is sufficient. Again, not to (unintentionally) insult people...

in the same vein, it is traditional for churches here to "greet" people, especially newcomers at entrance (or at the end) of the service. When I just moved here from Chicago, that practice scared me to death and I wouldn't go back to church for months. Why? because, in Chicago, if strangers are talking to you, you are probably being set up to be mugged. I have gotten used to this practice, however, I would never go up to anyone and just start talking to them. Don't want to scare others as I have been.

Point being, cultures and backgrounds are different everywhere. Understanding is probably the more polite thing, here!

Sometimes the things you say make me feel very sad for you ChiCubs

Being scared at church because people wanted to be polite and introduce themselves, not going back for months because of it?? WOW is all I can say. And I am being very sincere.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,184,473 times
Reputation: 39838
[quote=SunnyKayak;15693934]
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post

Exactly and this to all posters who are anti manners. If I was interviewing or just looking for people to hang out with fit in the community I would respect their customs.

lovesMountains
Spoiler
I respect you as a friend you are true and someone I am glad
to invite my future Wedding. It might be five years depends when Supreme Court works out so we all can have equality.

Sunny, you honor me with the invitation, and I look forward to attending, whenever you set the date
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Old 08-31-2010, 04:30 AM
 
4,010 posts, read 8,913,056 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ajjam View Post
I dont use ma'am.....sounds country.....i say lady
In fact it is an Americanism.

Ma'am is short for Madam which traditionally is equivalent to "My Lady". Respect is shown by addressing others as Sir or Madam. In most formal situations this is always done. In informal situations but with strangers it's also very appropriate. I suppose that some woman do have an issue with Madam as unlike it's male counterpart there is another word used for younger women. Madamoiselle is used instead of Madam for young unmarried women. In the USA this has been shortened to Miss but Madamoiselle is still often used outside NA. The use of Miss came into question in the 1960s by the ERA people as a relic of the maie dominated sexist past. The corruption, Ms, as a replacement lasted for a couple of decades. It's not seen much now.

I will point out these words have existed for longer than there has been a USA, their usage are quite common in Western civilization, and it is not a Southern or Northern thing. (as if the USA is the center of the Universe) There are functional equivalents in other non-Western cultures. However it is uniquely American, mostly because Americans are ignorant of their history, for some to question and even become insulted when addressed with these signs of respect. Interestingly, I don't think that you would ever hear a man protest the use of Sir.
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Old 08-31-2010, 04:53 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
7,041 posts, read 13,089,302 times
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Well, you guys...yes, I do say that and I am sorry if that is offensive...seem to really feel like this is a big deal. As I said in my first post, I have gotten used to it and yes, even taught it to my kids. However, I do know better than to use it in the Chicago/Iowa area as, yes, it IS offensive there. YES, it does take a stab at the recipient's age as it is thought to only refer to elderly.

The point that I have been trying to make throughout this (and other threads) is that sometimes it is more "mannerly" to accept people for what they are and to try to adapt to them and to the area that you are in. Just because YOU think that the use of ma'am and sir are the epitome of politeness (or even talking to people at church), many may not. SO, if you are in an area where this is not an accepted practice OR you are around someone who may not be used to it, don't immediately assume that they are "rude", find out if that is truly the case.

Funny thing, on a recent episode of "My Boys" one of my favourite sitcoms, the lead character, P.J. was interviewing a NASCAR driver. (the show is set in Chicago and P.J. is a sports writer) The NASCAR driver called P.J. ma'am on several occasions. there was a scene at each mention that she looks at her boyfriend and whispers... "He called me MA'AM!" There is also a reference to how old she is feeling. I am guessing that nobody but a Chicagoan would understand that piece and giggle.
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Old 08-31-2010, 06:02 AM
 
150 posts, read 228,540 times
Reputation: 146
Northerners speak to strangers and answer questions politely, just without "sir" and "ma'am" attached. It is our culture and not a sign of disrespect or lack of manners. If someone drops a paper I will say "Excuse me, you dropped your paper." If they don't hear me or respond....I will repeat with "Excuse me ma'am, you dropped your paper." Other than those rare instances, northerners don't use those words. I respect that southerners like to use "ma'am" and "Sir". But sometimes I feel like I'm being "ma'am"ed too much!
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Old 08-31-2010, 06:40 AM
 
7,103 posts, read 9,681,583 times
Reputation: 2563
Default Hey amigo. . .get out of the aisle por favor

Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagocubs View Post

Pink, if I am trying to get by someone at the grocery, I just say, "excuse me". I don't use any form of gender or anything else in the sentence. When passing by people of Latino origin, I say, "permiso"...again, no gender or anything used. Why is that odd?
I'll tell you why that's odd. It's profiling a person plain and simply. How do you know when you are "passing people of Latino origin"? Color of hair? Short and heavy set? Tall and handsome and wearing a bull fighter's cape?
You don't know. In addition saying "permiso" in that circumstance ie: supermarket in USA city, from a white woman who is clearly not of Latino heritage, will only come off as nothing but a slight. . . IMHO.
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Old 08-31-2010, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, N.C. area
445 posts, read 677,550 times
Reputation: 513
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
I will take being called ma'am to being called a guy any day of the week. The word guy comes from a person that was a murderer. Please don't call me a murderer.

Oops! I just read the thread title again. I guess I am not qualified to answer that question because I am a North Carolina native. I do cringe every time I hear someone refer to a group as "guys" expecially when some in the group are ladies. It is bad enough to call a gentleman a "guy."

You just hit one of my hot buttons!

Can't stand this informality that you get with wait staff in restaurants nowadays. Seems like they have a need to address a mixed group as "guys" and that really sets me off right away.

What is wrong with using "everyone" instead of "guys."

That sort of informality might be ok with the younger crowd but some of use older folks don't take kindly to it and find it quite obnoxious.
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Old 08-31-2010, 07:34 AM
 
Location: East Lansing, MI
8,689 posts, read 7,900,946 times
Reputation: 3678
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadTraveler View Post
You just hit one of my hot buttons!

Can't stand this informality that you get with wait staff in restaurants nowadays. Seems like they have a need to address a mixed group as "guys" and that really sets me off right away.

What is wrong with using "everyone" instead of "guys."

That sort of informality might be ok with the younger crowd but some of use older folks don't take kindly to it and find it quite obnoxious.
As a born and raised Midwesterner, I say "you guys". It's not meant to be sexist or a slight to any female members of the group. It's simply a variation of y'all. No one gets up in arms about saying "y'all", right? How about "you'uns" or "yous"?

Honestly, that's a pretty silly thing to get upset about.

Nothing wrong with saying anything else, but it's not the colloquialism that we were raised with. As such, it would take a conscious effort to substitute another word.

It is just as silly as a Northerner/Midwesterner getting offended by "y'all".
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Old 08-31-2010, 08:14 AM
 
3,115 posts, read 6,115,117 times
Reputation: 1797
Quote:
Originally Posted by hooligan View Post
As a born and raised Midwesterner, I say "you guys". It's not meant to be sexist or a slight to any female members of the group. It's simply a variation of y'all. No one gets up in arms about saying "y'all", right? How about "you'uns" or "yous"?

Honestly, that's a pretty silly thing to get upset about.

Nothing wrong with saying anything else, but it's not the colloquialism that we were raised with. As such, it would take a conscious effort to substitute another word.

It is just as silly as a Northerner/Midwesterner getting offended by "y'all".
I completely agree. I also say "you guys" if I'm referring to a group of people. There's no ill intent, it's just how people are addressed in the midwest.
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