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This article appeared in the New York Times today and it matches my feelings exactly. While I know that use of the word ma'am is part of the culture in the south, I have never gotten used to being called ma'am. It makes me feel like an old lady.
Being a man from Michigan, I'm probably not your target for this question... but I'm not gonna let that stop me from putting my two cents in.
We say ma'am in Michigan, too. I think of it about the same as I think of being called "sir". It's no big deal. Yes, it means I'm getting older (oh, the horror!), but I'm okay with that. I suspect that people who are bothered by being ma'amed or sirred are really just bothered by getting older, which I find a rather silly thing to be bothered by, considering the alternative.
I'm a guy also, but it has to be better than calling a married women "mother". And I'm from CT, and I could swear we were taught to use "ma'am" and "sir" out of respect.
This article appeared in the New York Times today and it matches my feelings exactly. While I know that use of the word ma'am is part of the culture in the south, I have never gotten used to being called ma'am. It makes me feel like an old lady.
I bet you don't like your kids friends or neigborhood kids calling you MRS. ex burgher either. Let me guess, you want them call you by your first name?
This article appeared in the New York Times today and it matches my feelings exactly. While I know that use of the word ma'am is part of the culture in the south, I have never gotten used to being called ma'am. It makes me feel like an old lady.
Then what do you prefer to be called if you don't know the person and they don't know you?
Just a question.
And yes, I used ma'am when I was growing up in NYC and I continue to use it on occasion here in the south when I don't know the person. Most questions can be answered with a flat yes or no without using a gender specific address.
But what if a woman has dropped something on the ground and you are trying to call her attention to it. How do you address the person then? Somehow just yelling "hey you" or "hey woman" seems a lot less respectful than saying ma'am.
Of if ma'am is such a problem for you and you are insulted because you think it is an old lady term.............. do we address you as young lady no matter what your age?
I'm just asking here...........if you don't like the term, what is your solution? What do you want to be called?
I'm a guy also, but it has to be better than calling a married women "mother". And I'm from CT, and I could swear we were taught to use "ma'am" and "sir" out of respect.
But what if a woman has dropped something on the ground and you are trying to call her attention to it. How do you address the person then? Somehow just yelling "hey you" or "hey woman" seems a lot less respectful than saying ma'am.
When I try to get someone's attention, I say "excuse me, miss."
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I am from Michigan & spent most of my life in the South Jersey suburbs of Philly. Ma'am is used in all of those places, just more frequently in Michigan. What that load of hogwash article failed to mention is that it's the contraction of madam.
Ma'am is not necessarily connected to age. It's a term of respect. It is not a southern term & that article even admits it. Would you prefer that strangers address you "hey! yo!"?
Yeah, if the woman has an actual title (Doctor, Senator, etc.) & if the person addressing her knows that, Ma'am is disrepectful, in some usages, but not all.
Last edited by southbound_295; 08-29-2010 at 11:30 AM..
Reason: typo
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It is not a southern term & that article even admits it. Would you prefer that strangers address you "hey! yo!"?
