Do you ever feel like you don't fit in in Charlotte? (Chapel Hill: chapel, schools)
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Bajanqueen, in other places I don't feel like a freak, just here. My way of thinking about things is in the minority amongst the majority of people I've met, unfortunately.
Bajanqueen, in other places I don't feel like a freak, just here. My way of thinking about things is in the minority amongst the majority of people I've met, unfortunately.
Are you meeting people here in similar circumstances to how you've met your preferred crowd in the past?
How do you know you haven't met people, in real time or here, that don't see at least some things the way you do? As you said, people may not want to out themselves. Some of us may be freaks by your definition, whatever that is.
Are you meeting people here in similar circumstances to how you've met your preferred crowd in the past?
How do you know you haven't met people, in real time or here, that don't see at least some things the way you do? As you said, people may not want to out themselves. Some of us may be freaks by your definition, whatever that is.
Very good point. Most of my friends I met through my old jobs which either don't exist here or I can no longer do. I was in my industry for around 14 years and worked with mostly right-brained types (creative, subjective, artistic) and am one myself. Here, I've met mostly left-brained people, or people who's circumstances don't jive with mine...or people who I've loved, but who've left town because they hated it too .
And now for my clarion call:
Attention all Right Brained, Liberal, Non religious, Mommies....let's hang out!
Actually, I have nothing against people who believe in god(s), if they don't mind my atheism or disdain for religion in general.
Just take a look at the Charlotte Observer comments on a story some time. You'll see what I mean. Others might want to keep away from children. There are just certain things you do not talk about. There is a reason these are hot button issues. It could make or break you in the eyes of someone who disagrees and when you know you are in the minority you need to be careful. I am very weary, especially, of talking about these things at work. It could make or break you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pink caddy
So, why do you need to "accept" other ppls. views and convictions? What's in it for you to "keep your mouth shut"?
It's really sad to go thru life not being the person you believe you are.
Maybe you're not a "freak" like you claim to be, as you admit here in public you go with the flow and only yearn for this vision of who you would like to be.
Try it out. Bust out a bit over Labor Day w/e. Do something "freaky" like put Christmas decorations on the lawn for Labor Day. Spray paint the minivan with graffiti. (water base paint in case you change your mind).
Invite 100 ppl over for a BBQ at your nabe's house 3 blocks away. Sign her name to the invite.
See my drift? THAT'S "freaky" and might give you the upbeat to the tune of life you're looking for.
Very good point. Most of my friends I met through my old jobs which either don't exist here or I can no longer do. I was in my industry for around 14 years and worked with mostly right-brained types (creative, subjective, artistic) and am one myself. Here, I've met mostly left-brained people, or people who's circumstances don't jive with mine...or people who I've loved, but who've left town because they hated it too .
And now for my clarion call:
Attention all Right Brained, Liberal, Non religious, Mommies....let's hang out!
Actually, I have nothing against people who believe in god(s), if they don't mind my atheism or disdain for religion in general.
I don't want to give the wrong impression here - as the mother of a very right-brained, creative liberal daughter, I have seen some of what you are describing. However, if you are putting your "disdain for religion in general" on public parade, that's no better than the people who "disdain" your way of thinking. Unfortunately, we as humans are not particularly tolerant of people who don't think the way we do, whether we are left-brained conservatives or right-brained liberals (sweeping assumptions noted and used for illustrative purposes only ).
No, it's not actually, but you've piqued my interest. Do I need to go put on my big girl panties?
Yes you do Also remember that you are not responsible for other people's thoughts and feelings. Be confident in who you are! If other people don't like it that is their issue.
My Wiccan friend doesn't walk around shouting about it or carrying a sign but the vast majority of people know about her beliefs. She is cautious in professional situations. In her personal life she feels people out before telling them about herself. She doesn't make a big effort to hide it. I knew her for a few moths before she told me. However she is not ashamed or embarrassed in any way. She will gladly talk about what she thinks and why she thinks that way. She realizes that there are ignorant people and people who will strongly disagree with her but she is okay with that. She is confident is herself.
She is married but does not have children. I do understand that that makes it easier in some ways because she doesn't have to worry about how things would affect a child.
I think people here would like freak defined so that they can help you, not to judge you. If you say I am X, Y and Z. Someone here may have or know someone with resources for that. Or at least give you insight into of which direction to look.
As I said before you probably will need to actively seek out others like you. It may not be easy but don't you think it's worth an effort? You may be surprised to find others like yourself that look like they belong, but feel like a martian.
Ellemaew, I definitely do not put that on public display. I'm opinionated, not crazy!
My feelings about religion are about religion, not the people who subscribe to religion (unless they're hateful, I'm not a fan of hateful religious people).
However, may I just point out that it is generally considered totally OK for people to shout their faith from the rooftops (or, bumper stickers as the case may be), but to admit your lack of faith is not ok. People I know who have FSM symbols or Darwin fish on their cars often find their cars keyed or emblems stolen or are told to stop forcing their beliefs down everyone's throats.
Did you read the comments in the Charotte Observer after the Billy Graham Billboard? Granted, both sides got heated, but some of the religious folks spewed some serious hate. The organizers got DEATH THREATS! That's enough for me to want to keep my mouth shut on that topic. Somebody wants me to die because I don't believe in god. They want render my kids motherless because I don't believe in what they do.
I don't walk around telling people my feelings on religion, unless directly asked. But, I get told about people's churches, missionary trips, prayer groups, etc, etc, daily. What do I do? I say, "Oh, that's nice for you" because A) who am I to rain on someone's parade? and B) I know that I'm not going to change anyone's mind about their beliefs, nor do I wish to. I've found that most people automatically assume that I'm a church goer. This town doesn't have the reputation of it's citizen's first question to a new person being "So, what church d'y'all go to?" for nothing Wow, that was a very awkwardly written sentence. lol.
Personally, I don't like religion. I do like people though and have friends here who are religious. They know how I feel, I know how they feel and we just don't bring it up.
Like I said previously, I've never had a conversation about religion in my life until moving here - I never really thought much about my stance on the subject (even though I knew I wasn't a believer) until it became an issue here.
I think I'm on an tangent and have totally lost my point, lol, sorry
NCgirl, I love the CAA! I wish there were more moms in that group that lived closer to me. I'm not active with them, but I'm friendly with some of them. There are some GREAT people there. They do a lot for the community with their volunteer efforts.
You said, "I think people here would like freak defined so that they can help you, not to judge you". Thank you for saying that. When you feel like your stance on certain things is not generally tolerated, you can find yourself on the defensive. Maybe that has skewed the tone of some of the responses here for me. Like the Walmart and CMPD thread, which I read only a couple of pages of, the mom felt attacked by everyone, but not everyone was attacking.
I'm getting sick of reading myself But, I still want to hear from anyone else who feels like they don't fit in - this thread wasn't supposed to be about me
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Also remember that you are not responsible for other people's thoughts and feelings. Be confident in who you are! If other people don't like it that is their issue. 
