Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have been here for many years and some of the adjustments (from Chicago, if you couldn't tell ) I have had to face is that there is a huge obsession with appearances here. Not only personal appearances, but, the appearance of your home, car, etc. All must be perfect at all times. There is no room for any form of disarray or disturbance in what is perceived to be the "norm". (on that note, unless you are used to them, I would strongly recommend staying away from any neighbourhood in an HOA).
This is also a family-oriented town. Very conservative; if you are liberal (at all) just remember to keep your mouth shut. There is not much public transportation on the north side and, after the first year and the first time attending the many festivals, there is not much to do unless you are a big fan of out door activities (hiking, stuff like that). (the festivals are the duplicated every year, so, after the first year, there really is no point) There are other things to do, but, they are mostly a drive away...
On that point, the mountains are 2 hours away and the beach (ocean) is 4. There is not a real way to hang out at the waterfront without going to the beach unless you have a boat to get around Lakes Norman and/or Wylie. (another adjustment; I really miss Lake Michigan)
there is pro football and pro basketball, but, alas, no real baseball. There is a AAA team that feeds the White Sox, but, that is more of a family event with a mascot that runs about on the field...and, of course, it is the White Sox....
And, the food is more expensive. When I go to Chicago, I take a cooler to bring back as much meat as possible. I save about 50% on my meat there.
Money is, indeed, the emphasis here. Who has what or doesn't have it... definitely a greater push towards the material...
Lily - I am really not trying to fuss at you. I am truly sorry that you don't like it here. I can't imagine being in your situation. I am fortunate to have some wonderful friends here but most of them are nothing like me. Some go to church - some don't. Some are conservative, some liberal. Some of them have kids, others never have... two are Charlotte natives, others are transplants ...and on and on. We all have our faults and different views but that is part of what makes us friends! I know not to discuss politics with one friend - she and I are polar opposites on that and it never ends well!
I am sure that it is difficult for your husband to enjoy it here knowing how unhappy you are. I hope that you will soon find some friends and have some happy days ahead!
there is a huge obsession with appearances here. Not only personal appearances, but, the appearance of your home, car, etc. All must be perfect at all times. There is no room for any form of disarray or disturbance in what is perceived to be the "norm".
cc, maybe we just came from different places, but I can tell you I used to know more vain people in NJ than I do here. Yes, there are some people like that here, but its not really a big deal. I also know the phonies from the real people.
maybe I'm just lucky that in my neighborhood I have a good group of people (natives and transplants) where we have block parties twice a year and I can go to my neighbor (who's a native) and ask for butter at 8am in the morning if I need it...and this is in an HOA neighborhood!
Sorry that your experience is really that bad....its not like that for everyone here, ya know?
Lily - I am really not trying to fuss at you. I am truly sorry that you don't like it here. I can't imagine being in your situation. I am fortunate to have some wonderful friends here but most of them are nothing like me. Some go to church - some don't. Some are conservative, some liberal. Some of them have kids, others never have... two are Charlotte natives, others are transplants ...and on and on. We all have our faults and different views but that is part of what makes us friends! I know not to discuss politics with one friend - she and I are polar opposites on that and it never ends well!
I am sure that it is difficult for your husband to enjoy it here knowing how unhappy you are. I hope that you will soon find some friends and have some happy days ahead!
I know you're not trying to give me a hard time. Since my initial posting here (that enormous and painful thread!!) I've been more proactive about meeting people and that has made a big difference. Putting the feelers out has paid off really well, thankfully, and I'm more optimistic about finding my "tribe" (but it does make me sad how hard one has to work at finding people if you aren't a church type.) However, I still have issues w/ more general things here and that article was just one thing that happened this week that made me pause, which is why I told OP to find a "bubble".
Finding one's bubble, imo, is key because if you start digging, you may not like what you find.
(ps, I totally understand that this can be true of anywhere one lives)
cc, maybe we just came from different places, but I can tell you I used to know more vain people in NJ than I do here. Yes, there are some people like that here, but its not really a big deal. I also know the phonies from the real people.
maybe I'm just lucky that in my neighborhood I have a good group of people (natives and transplants) where we have block parties twice a year and I can go to my neighbor (who's a native) and ask for butter at 8am in the morning if I need it...and this is in an HOA neighborhood!
Sorry that your experience is really that bad....its not like that for everyone here, ya know?
Well, Coupon, thinking of the thread where the OP was complaining because someone parked in front of his house........and others like it.....plus all the rules about the trash cans not being allowed in the front of the house or clotheslines being "unsightly"...or, even the discussions around chain link fences...which are called "ugly" here.
If the OP of this thread is used to high-end areas where people can afford landscapers and maintenance men, then they will not have any problem adjusting here...or, like I even said, if they are used to HOA's, there will not be an issue.
However, I grew up in a basic blue-collar neighbourhood where people worked 2-3 jobs each so sometimes the lawns got a bit overgrown or the paint peeled...and nobody complained. Chain link fences were normal and ladies hung the clothes outside every morning before work. Never heard of an HOA, never had anyone send out citations for this kind of thing. And, yes, cars were parked on the street and kids played in the alley or in the street...but, never on the grass. So, this has been a huge adjustment for me. Guess it is what you are used to and that is what I wanted to share, not knowing what the OPs background is.
I wanted to chime in again to answer some of the questions...here in WI HOA's are not common. We owned two homes so far and from what I understand from "chicagocubs" Charlotte is not that different than here in regards to keeping the lawn trimmed, home appearance, but it is not dictated by an HOA. It's just that people really take pride in their homes here and that's why you almost never see any home that is run down no matter the size or neighborhood. Here if your lawn is a little bit overdue due to your work schedule etc, you can't help but feel the pressure of your neighbors..it's an unspoken thing, although I heard from a girlfriend that her neighbors are very outspoken in fact if her grass is too tall.
It's ok with us...it's one of the things I loved about Charlotte...the neighborhoods we drove through looked very nice and well kept. The rest of it regarding money, cars, appearance...all the judging etc...that's something I could do without.
Lilyonthelake: how did you go about meeting people? Is it easy to find kindred spirits? Are people pretty open to new friendships?
Also about neighbors...do neighbors come by to introduce themselves, are they friendly? With HOA's...what does that include?
Sorry, a lot of questions all at once...thanks again for your help!
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,813 posts, read 34,657,307 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by asterisc
I wanted to chime in again to answer some of the questions...here in WI HOA's are not common. We owned two homes so far and from what I understand from "chicagocubs" Charlotte is not that different than here in regards to keeping the lawn trimmed, home appearance, but it is not dictated by an HOA. It's just that people really take pride in their homes here and that's why you almost never see any home that is run down no matter the size or neighborhood. Here if your lawn is a little bit overdue due to your work schedule etc, you can't help but feel the pressure of your neighbors..it's an unspoken thing, although I heard from a girlfriend that her neighbors are very outspoken in fact if her grass is too tall.
It's ok with us...it's one of the things I loved about Charlotte...the neighborhoods we drove through looked very nice and well kept. The rest of it regarding money, cars, appearance...all the judging etc...that's something I could do without.
Lilyonthelake: how did you go about meeting people? Is it easy to find kindred spirits? Are people pretty open to new friendships?
Also about neighbors...do neighbors come by to introduce themselves, are they friendly? With HOA's...what does that include?
Sorry, a lot of questions all at once...thanks again for your help!
I wanted to chime in again to answer some of the questions...here in WI HOA's are not common. We owned two homes so far and from what I understand from "chicagocubs" Charlotte is not that different than here in regards to keeping the lawn trimmed, home appearance, but it is not dictated by an HOA. It's just that people really take pride in their homes here and that's why you almost never see any home that is run down no matter the size or neighborhood. Here if your lawn is a little bit overdue due to your work schedule etc, you can't help but feel the pressure of your neighbors..it's an unspoken thing, although I heard from a girlfriend that her neighbors are very outspoken in fact if her grass is too tall.
It's ok with us...it's one of the things I loved about Charlotte...the neighborhoods we drove through looked very nice and well kept. The rest of it regarding money, cars, appearance...all the judging etc...that's something I could do without.
Lilyonthelake: how did you go about meeting people? Is it easy to find kindred spirits? Are people pretty open to new friendships?
Also about neighbors...do neighbors come by to introduce themselves, are they friendly? With HOA's...what does that include?
Sorry, a lot of questions all at once...thanks again for your help!
We have found a mixed bag in terms of general upkeep, with and without HOA's. Moss Creek is one example where things are a bit run down even with an HOA. The neighborhoods we were drawn to happened to be HOA's, but that doesn't mean that everyone just keeps their yards up. And, neighborhoods without HOAs can look very nice without someone forcing the issue. Each HOA can include different things, so you need to get the details in writing. My favorite we have lived in take care of the general neigborhood common areas and maintain a loose inforcement of the covenants - not too strict but things still get done.
We find, like most places, that people are as friendly as you are to them.
We have found a mixed bag in terms of general upkeep, with and without HOA's. Moss Creek is one example where things are a bit run down even with an HOA. The neighborhoods we were drawn to happened to be HOA's, but that doesn't mean that everyone just keeps their yards up. And, neighborhoods without HOAs can look very nice without someone forcing the issue. Each HOA can include different things, so you need to get the details in writing. My favorite we have lived in take care of the general neigborhood common areas and maintain a loose inforcement of the covenants - not too strict but things still get done.
We find, like most places, that people are as friendly as you are to them.
It has always been my experience that what you put out into the world is generally what you'll get back from it.
People who are truly miserable need to look inside themselves first
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
) I have had to face is that there is a huge obsession with appearances here. Not only personal appearances, but, the appearance of your home, car, etc. All must be perfect at all times. There is no room for any form of disarray or disturbance in what is perceived to be the "norm". (on that note, unless you are used to them, I would strongly recommend staying away from any neighbourhood in an HOA).
