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Old 04-28-2011, 07:22 AM
 
810 posts, read 1,122,996 times
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For me personally, I don't care what you do or who you are or what color you are. I can become friends almost anyone. The only thing that drives me crazy about some gay people is when they have the, hey look at me, I'm gay attitude, where everything they do or say have to be about them being gay.
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Old 04-28-2011, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
2,352 posts, read 4,025,244 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaytarheel View Post
You will be noticed and nobody can predict how someone will react to being openly gay.
*I* can predict, because I have many gay friends, who love it here, the majority of whom have NOT been harassed here. Yes, some things have been said to a few - rarely, and no violence occurred. Just idiocy. Where do you live? What have YOU, personally, experienced?

Yes, homosexuals struggle for TRUE acceptance and equality - but Charlotte is better than many other cities in terms of day-to-day acceptance. It's not utopia, but where is? Even San Francisco has haters.

Yes, it's horrible what happened in Rock Hill - which, despite its proximity, is NOT Charlotte. Could it happen here? I suppose. Has it happened here? Not to any of my friends, nor people they know. I am betting that victim has received more support than vilification.
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Ayrsley
4,714 posts, read 8,457,827 times
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We know a few gay couples here in town and I have yet to hear them relate any negative experiences that have come as a result of that factor since they have been in Charlotte.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vmaxnc View Post
I'm straight, but I don't project any behaviors that would cause someone to even consider my sexuality.
So...you never go out on dates (or with your spouse, depending upon your situation) or hold hands or give your significant other a kiss in public?
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:54 PM
 
174 posts, read 421,686 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteGal View Post
*I* can predict, because I have many gay friends, who love it here, the majority of whom have NOT been harassed here. Yes, some things have been said to a few - rarely, and no violence occurred. Just idiocy. Where do you live? What have YOU, personally, experienced?

Yes, homosexuals struggle for TRUE acceptance and equality - but Charlotte is better than many other cities in terms of day-to-day acceptance. It's not utopia, but where is? Even San Francisco has haters.

Yes, it's horrible what happened in Rock Hill - which, despite its proximity, is NOT Charlotte. Could it happen here? I suppose. Has it happened here? Not to any of my friends, nor people they know. I am betting that victim has received more support than vilification.
The question was about being accepted...NOT being the victim of hate crimes. The answer is quite simple....the COUNTRY as a whole is NOT accepting of the gay lifestyle. Open a paper...can't get married, can't join the armed forces...until recently I think....no openly gay professional athletes...several have come out after retiring.....groups that try and convince us that being gay is an act against GOD, going to hell for it.....all these things are completely ridiculous to you and me....but apparantley NOT to the majority of people living in this country.

If everyone was so accepting as you would like us to believe than why do thousands of teens, young adults struggle so much to just out themselves???

Because its NOT accepted by the majority of people....and yes that majority would include Charlotte.
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Old 04-28-2011, 01:26 PM
 
308 posts, read 529,508 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smooshy1 View Post
I know this has been asked tons of times before, I've read through pretty much all of them, but the majority were asked by older adults and professionals with partners looking to settle down. I'm a 19 year old college student, living in Greenville currently, and will be transferring from a community college to a 4-year after this coming up fall semester. I've narrowed my search down to UNC-Charlotte, UNC-Asheville, and UNC-Greensboro. I'm curious as to how accepting the citizens of Charlotte and the students of UNCC are towards gays? Here in greenville, being gay is like Fight Club, the first rule of homosexuality is you don't talk about homosexuality. Doing so results in awkward silences and a very apparent feeling of not being wanted. ECU students are slightly better, but there's still a very frat boy vibe at ECU so while it's more accepted, you're still considered "that gay guy". I don't need (or even want) a city with a thriving gay community full of parades and rainbow flags, I'd just like to live and go to school somewhere where I won't have to be hesitant about saying that I'm gay or mentioning that I have a boyfriend. I'd like to live somewhere where it's no big deal and people will still be friendly (real friendly, not politically correct friendly then talk about me behind my back) and I won't have to worry about not being accepted or being treated differently, as it is in Greenville. Note that I'm in no way overtly gay, the only way people ever know I'm gay is if I tell them I am and sometimes they even laugh thinking I'm joking, assuming every gay guy must be a flamboyant flamer and there's no possible way a typical guy in jeans and a tee shirt could ever be *gasp* a homo!

So how's the vibe? To make it easier to describe, and for me to understand, here's what I, personally, classify cities as:

Homophobic: Say you're gay, get jumped and bashed. (most small towns)
Tolerant: Say you're gay, get awkward silences, blank stares, and fake friendliness. (Greenville, Winston Salem)
Accepting: Say you're gay, get a positive response and sincere friendliness. (Raleigh, Durham)
Embracing: Say you're gay, get people inviting you to their gay bowling league and the 50th gay pride parade of the year. (Asheville's the only NC city I know of like this)

Mind you, this is for a young college student, not a professional adult living in the suburbs, I'd be living and interacting primarily in the University City and downtown (or uptown, I believe you guys call it?) area.

*Sorry this is so long, just want to get the best answers possible.
Why don't you add a category for people like me and my friends. It would be the "So?" category. We will likely not be friendly to you just because you are gay, and on the other hand, we won't be negatve. We would accept you for your personality and friendliness. You might want to focus on personality and friendliness instead of gayness. Being gay around here doesn't seem to raise eyebrows. So the response to your being gay is, "so?"
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Old 04-28-2011, 01:28 PM
 
308 posts, read 529,508 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GayCharlotteGuy View Post
Edit: Accepting.


I don't understand the embracing part of one of your answer picks. I'd say embracing but I don't understand the whole bowling equation, lol.


The truth of the matter is, there is a lot of type of people in Charlotte. As a whole, people are accepting. But as individuals, some are very embracing. Some will beg you to go to a gay pride event so they can see what it is like. Some wont really care about gay pride (I personally don't). Some people will wanna go to gay clubs with you because they love gay clubs. I know tons of people (even a few straight guys) who like gay clubs. But, I don't club nor am I into gay pride really, lol. It just depends on the specific type of people you're around. Some of my (straight) friends wanna go to pride Charlotte but I just figured it would be boring to me, lol.


But as a whole, people will be your definition of "accepting" .
.
Excellent response.
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Old 04-28-2011, 01:53 PM
 
4 posts, read 8,310 times
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I think some people here are misinterpreting what I mean by my question. I'm simply asking if, when I tell people I have a boyfriend, the same way a straight person would say they have a girlfriend, will there be any hostility? I said nothing about flaunting my lifestyle, even have mentioned numerous times that I don't do that. If you're idea of shoving my "gayness" in someone's face is simply mentioning that I'm gay, that's the exact kind of backhanded attitude I'm trying to get away from. The "it's okay to be gay as long as you don't say it, show it, or live it" mentality and the mentality that by not hiding my sexuality I'm suddenly a flamer who's flaunting my sexuality isn't one I'm comfortable with.

And of course there's nowhere in America, or the world for that matter, where everyone is accepting. But there are certainly cities that are known for their acceptance by the MAJORITY of citizens. I mean, who wants to live in a city where they can't be themselves and when they do they're considered to be pushing an agenda?
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Old 04-28-2011, 02:50 PM
 
174 posts, read 421,686 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smooshy1 View Post
I think some people here are misinterpreting what I mean by my question. I'm simply asking if, when I tell people I have a boyfriend, the same way a straight person would say they have a girlfriend, will there be any hostility? I said nothing about flaunting my lifestyle, even have mentioned numerous times that I don't do that. If you're idea of shoving my "gayness" in someone's face is simply mentioning that I'm gay, that's the exact kind of backhanded attitude I'm trying to get away from. The "it's okay to be gay as long as you don't say it, show it, or live it" mentality and the mentality that by not hiding my sexuality I'm suddenly a flamer who's flaunting my sexuality isn't one I'm comfortable with.

And of course there's nowhere in America, or the world for that matter, where everyone is accepting. But there are certainly cities that are known for their acceptance by the MAJORITY of citizens. I mean, who wants to live in a city where they can't be themselves and when they do they're considered to be pushing an agenda?
I don't believe Charlotte is that place.....I mean for goodness sake, just look how many anti-Northern threads there are on this board. Again....it's safe to say the MAJORITY of people down South do not really care for Northerners or their ways in general (accent, pizza & bagel talk, we did it this way back home talk, etc.)....but again you do have some natives that will give someone a chance and have an open mind and not lump every Northerner into the stereotype.....hopefully you will run into more people with open minds than not.

I doubt you will be in physical harm by someone knowing you are gay.....if they don't like you because you are gay...than they can go **** off!!!
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Old 04-29-2011, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC (in my mind)
7,946 posts, read 15,006,606 times
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I would say for the most part Charlotte is tolerant, with very accepting and embracing pockets. You aren't going to get jumped for being gay like in many small towns but many people will treat you differently if they know you are gay. Stick to the gay bars/clubs, Dilworth, NoDa, and Southend and you'll be fine.
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Old 04-29-2011, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Washington DC
3,739 posts, read 3,263,751 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaytarheel View Post
I don't believe Charlotte is that place.....I mean for goodness sake, just look how many anti-Northern threads there are on this board. Again....it's safe to say the MAJORITY of people down South do not really care for Northerners or their ways in general (accent, pizza & bagel talk, we did it this way back home talk, etc.)....but again you do have some natives that will give someone a chance and have an open mind and not lump every Northerner into the stereotype.....hopefully you will run into more people with open minds than not.

I can't tell you... how much it bothers me when people from the North talk about home EVERY other word...


It's especially noticeable in a lot of New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, and Mass. people.... I know growing up in school you ALWAYS had that 1 kid from New York/New Jersey that everyone wanted to punch in the face because New Jersey was so great and well, NC was supposedly not. Everytime there was an issue, "I remember in New Jersey" "In New Jersey" "In New Jersey" "In New Jersey" "New Jersey is " "New Jersey Isn't"



To tie in that little rant to this thread, as other people said, don't be annoying about it. And people should be perfectly A-okay about it. Some people (most?) don't care. Doesn't mean they're not accepting.
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