Why *some* Northerners are ruining the Southern way of life in Charlotte (transplants, renting)

[stmaarten]

First off let me state that I am a Northerner who moved to Charlotte less than a year ago. The thing is, I keep crossing paths with Northerners that just plain and simply give the rest of us a bad name. It's like being at a wedding when your uncle "Vinnie" makes a complete a** out of himself in front of everyone and you feel like crawling into a hole.
At first, my skin started to crawl when I would hear parents (with clearly northern accents) screaming their bloody heads off in the grocery stores at their children around here. (To the dismay of many Southerners, who usually repremand their off-spring quietly or in private.) Then came the "better than thou" attitudes form neighbors that I know to be from NY/NJ. Or the times when I found myself in conversation with a mixed group of people (from both North and South), and the Northerner proceeds to count down all of the things that just "aren't how we do it up North"...YIKES!
Just the other day, I was sitting at the pool, minding my own business, when out of the blue, two women (again with northern accents) sat down at the table next to mine and proceeded to (in loud New Yawker-speak) completely tear apart the schools in the area. "Well, my dawter's talent is just not used to it's potential here and I think they need to change things around here, yadda yadda yadda...." She didn't come up for air for nearly fifteen minutes! She just kept on complaining! Fine, have your opinions, but could you please not announce them to everyone? People can hear you!
The other day I had a Southern gentleman give me an estimate for something we need to have done in our home. I asked him how he felt about all of us Northerners moving to his city. He told me that it wouldn't bother him if people would just respect their way of life here and stop trying to change things. And I thought, my goodness, they (deep down) hate us!
Let me also add, that I have met quite a few Northern transplants that are civil, friendly and clearly embrace the wonderful way of living here and have no intention of changing anything. So, please excuse my rant, I just felt it necessary to "get it out there" that, frankly, I'm sick of seeing my uncle "Vinnie" everywhere I go around here.
Learn to adjust people!

[SuperchargedSS]

very well said, repped for you!

We are transplants from S. FL and yes, things arent how we do it in FL, but im not gonna complain! It's definetly alot nicer here than anything I could fathom in FL!

The Southern Hospitality down here has been awesome!

[berryjuice4life]

Originally Posted by stmaarten

First off let me state that I am a Northerner who moved to Charlotte less than a year ago. The thing is, I keep crossing paths with Northerners that just plain and simply give the rest of us a bad name. It's like being at a wedding when your uncle "Vinnie" makes a complete a** out of himself in front of everyone and you feel like crawling into a hole.
At first, my skin started to crawl when I would hear parents (with clearly northern accents) screaming their bloody heads off in the grocery stores at their children around here. (To the dismay of many Southerners, who usually repremand their off-spring quietly or in private.) Then came the "better than thou" attitudes form neighbors that I know to be from NY/NJ. Or the times when I found myself in conversation with a mixed group of people (from both North and South), and the Northerner proceeds to count down all of the things that just "aren't how we do it up North"...YIKES!
Just the other day, I was sitting at the pool, minding my own business, when out of the blue, two women (again with northern accents) sat down at the table next to mine and proceeded to (in loud New Yawker-speak) completely tear apart the schools in the area. "Well, my dawter's talent is just not used to it's potential here and I think they need to change things around here, yadda yadda yadda...." She didn't come up for air for nearly fifteen minutes! She just kept on complaining! Fine, have your opinions, but could you please not announce them to everyone? People can hear you!
The other day I had a Southern gentleman give me an estimate for something we need to have done in our home. I asked him how he felt about all of us Northerners moving to his city. He told me that it wouldn't bother him if people would just respect their way of life here and stop trying to change things. And I thought, my goodness, they (deep down) hate us!
Let me also add, that I have met quite a few Northern transplants that are civil, friendly and clearly embrace the wonderful way of living here and have no intention of changing anything. So, please excuse my rant, I just felt it necessary to "get it out there" that, frankly, I'm sick of seeing my uncle "Vinnie" everywhere I go around here.
Learn to adjust people!

OMG YOU ARE SO RIGHT I am a NYKER as well, left there and moved to NJ Which was another NY as well, however kind of the same mentality, and STM u said it very well, as I couldnt have explained it any better..as dh and I feel the same way...but the Im better than you attitude is pretty prevelant here and it gets on my last nerve..2nd If they HATE the schools then go back to NY.. I mean I dont mean to be rude, and Yes I have met some FANTASTIC people that im friendly with who are aweseome people from NY or NJ and I must add NJ BECAUSE they arent left out in this convo either..u know what I know plenty of NYkers that LOVE the schools so those women need to just GO BACK TO NY. or get off thier high horse
I hope no one takes offense as my comments arent intended to offend anyone.

SS I so agree with you agree too

[businessperson]

In all honesty I'm not sure it's a Northern problem. I think it's just that people (from all areas) are just so self absorbed and lack common everyday manners. I'm a southerner, have lived in NC most all my life except for a few years moving to other states with my husband. I'd like to think we're above that but it's not totally true.

If we could all practice consideration for others, keep our voices under control when we're engaged in private conversation and realize that our lives, our children, our pet peeves are not foremost in everyone else's lives I think we and our neighbors would be happier.

It's a manners thing.

[SunnyKayak]

Man I was hoping this thread was done by a troll I am looking to catch one and it was just you ... just kiddin.

I kinda see your side and buisnessperson side.

In this technology age I have seen manners and family values and decent consideration go out the window.

Ever have someone just talking and you ask them huh? and to find out they have one of those blue tooth thingies in their ear.

It just good parenting, values have gone. I have seen people who move here and there kids get away with anything because there parents feel kinda sorry they made them move and will do whatever for that kid to be happy down here.

We need to bring back all the civic organizations we was a part of when we was kids boys and girls scouts, 4h club, kwanis clubs, cotillion and learn proper ways to do things with Emily Post.

If you are a road and higway and get behind someone who in the outer lane doing the speed limit expect a wave if you do get to pass them it is me.
Unless there a sign that says slower traffic keep right. Then it is ok for me to obey the law.

[XNYgirl]

I have to add my two cents because I've been out of NY for a long time.
I am not always the most polite and I will admit it, but here it goes.

First, all the people who move here do it by choice, you are not being held hostage and forced to move to Charlotte. Please, do not say, I will not work for less than $19 dollars per hour, or not of non-union jobs, just stay where you are. There is a reason why the economy is the way it is here, there are jobs and plenty of people who will work them. THe HR people are not bowling over to get People from the North with off the chart salary requirements when they can find someone whose more sensible.

Second, if you don't like the schools, please don't pick a place to live where you don't like the schools. Find another area to live, or don't leave. It's really not anything forced upon the person.

Third, southern people whom I've come in contact with handle themselves as smooth as peanut butter. I could not find people who could tell you off with a smile and diss as nicely as the people I've done business with. They would tell you in a second, this isn't NY and you know the way back.

So, anyways. My favorite part of living in the South is the weather, you cannot bottle it and take it back anywhere, I don't think I've seen as much sunshine in my whole life as i've enjoyed in all my NC years. Plus, the sweet tea.

[berryjuice4life]

Originally Posted by XNYgirl

I have to add my two cents because I've been out of NY for a long time.
I am not always the most polite and I will admit it, but here it goes.

First, all the people who move here do it by choice, you are not being held hostage and forced to move to Charlotte. Please, do not say, I will not work for less than $19 dollars per hour, or not of non-union jobs, just stay where you are. There is a reason why the economy is the way it is here, there are jobs and plenty of people who will work them. THe HR people are not bowling over to get People from the North with off the chart salary requirements when they can find someone whose more sensible.

Second, if you don't like the schools, please don't pick a place to live where you don't like the schools. Find another area to live, or don't leave. It's really not anything forced upon the person.

Third, southern people whom I've come in contact with handle themselves as smooth as peanut butter. I could not find people who could tell you off with a smile and diss as nicely as the people I've done business with. They would tell you in a second, this isn't NY and you know the way back.

So, anyways. My favorite part of living in the South is the weather, you cannot bottle it and take it back anywhere, I don't think I've seen as much sunshine in my whole life as i've enjoyed in all my NC years. Plus, the sweet tea.

X you hit the nail right on the head..

[southernlady5464]

stmaarten, thank you for your post. I don't think you could have said it better.

XNYgirl, you are right as well. Thank you. Liz

[gabmac]

stmaarten----thanks for a good laugh!! You had me crackin' up!! I am a transplant from NJ and know exactly what you mean!!! We have alot of what you described in my neighborhood!!! I love the South and my family and I will never go back to NJ!!!

There is only one thing I would change here------I do not understand why they start the elementary schools so early. We have a 7:40 start, my kids are shot after all week getting up that early for school!!! Just wanted to mention that ....other than that I love it here!!!!

[foufifoufi]

...and this would be why i'd like to LEAVE ny. because of all of the self-absorbed, loud mouths. i like living where people are respectful and nice. even in the mentioned case of disciplining a child at the store, when i see that here i think ' why? that's so class-less.'

i'm going to hate to move to charlotte and have someone sterotype me as the negative things about ny.