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Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beth Dinsmore
My family moved to Concord (NE of Charlotte) from Charleston, SC. I thought Charleston was overrun with "yankees" but it's even worse here. I hate that my children are losing their "southern-ness". I never hear Ma'am or Sir on my block. The other kids call me by my first name. My next door neighbor screams at my children and calls them "selfish" and "mean" and tells me that it's ok for her to do that and I just don't understand because I'm southern. When I was (big) pregnant I had a man shove me to one side to get in front of me at the grocery store. I love the south and all our manners and slow moving (it's too damn hot to get pushy & grabby around here - someone will get shot that way!) and quirky ways and hate to see it coming to an end. I get tired of being told how ignorant and backwards we are (then why did you come here?). My husband and I have noticed that our kids are starting to backtalk - this only began once we moved here. If you are looking for the south don't come here. I agree that there are good people and bad people all over but I know the "bad" southerns and how to deal with them and I don't like having to deal with the "bad" northerners on their terms. I plan to move somewhere more southern as soon as possible. I just would rather be with "my" people.
I'm sorry that you have been treated rudely, but let me tell you something. I am a Yankee. Long ago I was brought up in the mid-west to say yes Ma'm. no Ma'm, yes Sir, & no Sir. We did not dare to call an adult by their 1st name.
However, every adult in the neighborhood disciplined any kid who misbehaved or talked-back. Then they told your parents & you really got it.
When I was 13, we moved to South Jersey. Adults were uncomfortable with the Sir & Ma'm, so that changed to Mr. or Mrs. So & So.
If the neighborhood kids are addressing you by your 1st name, tell them, "You're in the South, & here kids call adults Sir or Ma'm."
All I say is. Different strokes for different folks but NY is not a bad place to live. I am a NYer and I lived there all my life and don't have any complaints. I was raised, educated and worked their all my life and I was always happy. I had a good paying job and lived well all things being considered and with good mass transit a car for me was more trouble than what it's worth and now with the cost of gas I am grateful not to have one. Sure, in NC it's difficult not to have one but I will go where I can and not go where I can't go. I personally don't understand why people are running here for. There seems to be a lot of taxes such as; tax on the newspaper and all food items have some sort of tax. Sales tax in NC is 7.25% and in NY there is no sales tax for items under $300 and the sales tax in NY is 8.25%. There is not much of a difference. Property is higher but since I am not buying property in NY nor in NC it doesn't really matter to me. Moving without employment is very serious. I am constantly afraid of ending up homeless. If I can find a room mate in NY who would take me in. I would gladly sell whatever I could and just move back to NY. I always did well in NY. Never had any complaints. This state is very greedy when it comes to employment and now being in a recession it's no picnic, competition, an influx of relocaters. Just a lot of excuses. I had an interview for a Leasing Consultant position and I didn't get the job, an interview for a temp spot with Wachovia, I didn't get the job either. It's just as well. They are not doing well and their is a potential buyout in their future. This is why they use temps so they don't have to pay severance, unemployment nor benefits. They temp you out and your still unemployed. Thanks for your response, but I have serious challenges ahead of me.
New Yorkers and New jersey people ruined florida and now they are going to ruin SC / NC.
The reputation new yorkers / jersey people have was earned. It wasn't just given to them for no reason. Most have a serious attitude problem are rude, horrible drivers and loud etc... The list goes on and on.
What purpose do sweeping generalizations serve? It is not fair to lump all people into the same boat. Not all people from NY/NJ display the behavior you mention below. It's too bad you've experienced this, but to say it is true of all people who hail from NY/NJ is just not a valid argument.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ga2email
New Yorkers and New jersey people ruined florida and now they are going to ruin SC / NC.
The reputation new yorkers / jersey people have was earned. It wasn't just given to them for no reason. Most have a serious attitude problem are rude, horrible drivers and loud etc... The list goes on and on.
New Yorkers and New jersey people ruined florida and now they are going to ruin SC / NC.
The reputation new yorkers / jersey people have was earned. It wasn't just given to them for no reason. Most have a serious attitude problem are rude, horrible drivers and loud etc... The list goes on and on.
Man..I hate these sweeping generalizations......geez
Man..I hate these sweeping generalizations......geez
Yes . . . it is not helpful to focus on stereotypes. This is an old thread and really . . . it should just go away, Hee Hee.
There are occasionally rude newcomers. There are occasionally rude (and prickly) natives. We are all doing our best to find an equilibrium here. I have met delightful, gracious and very engaging people who have moved here from all over . . . People are just people. Sure, we may have different customs and traditions - but seems to me that it is progress to learn from each other . . .
The only time I get upset w/ newcomers is in the mountains of NC . . . and the people who are most litigious and rude are NOT from NY/NJ . . . but rather from Florida . . . and are part time residents. Floridians are not well thought of in western NC b/c of their litigious nature and disrespect to locals (condescending, rude). I DO NOT SEE THIS HERE IN CHARLOTTE. I really don't.
I hear midwestern as well as NEastern accents when I am out and about, and people are typically very polite and friendly regardless where they grew up. I find newcomers are sometimes even a bit SHY as they are feeling things out and learning their way around. So honestly, I wish we could just put this to rest . . . Southerners who are here are not going to suddenly "lose their Southern ways" as someone posted earlier . . . and honestly, I am wondering what "Southern ways" I need to fight to preserve, Hee Hee.
Rude is rude no matter where you are from or where you are now living. IF anyone is rude to me, I either ignore it or tell him/her straight to his/ her face that they are being RUDE and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT. You elbow me out of the way in a line and you will be confronted about it, no matter where you are from. And I wish to reiterate, I see that type of behavior from part time residents (snowbirds) in western NC, but I DO NOT SEE IT HERE.
Now, driving . . yes . . . seems people are frustrated here, but the road infrastructure SUX by anyone's standards - only sections of the highways seem adequate to me (and even those that are finished do not have enuff lanes, IMHO). So there is road rage and "road frustration" out there . . . some of it may be from newcomers honking horns (I rarely hear that these days - heard it more when I moved back in 2002-3) I think we are all trying to blend together here . . .
Maybe I am just not bothered by things that others see as "rude." And maybe I have no compunction about addressing rude behavior. I will tell you "Dern - no need to be HATEFUL." If you are from NY (or anywhere else) and are rude to me, I will tell you that you are in the South now and to cool it. However, I have never had to do this (in Charlotte) but maybe three times since 2002 . . . have to frequently do it in western NC, sadly.
This is just not an issue, IMHO, cause I think newcomers want to live peacefully here . . . and if they are being rude . . . for heaven's sake . . . just TELL THEM and move on . . . we are all learning here . . .
I apologize, I know it's wrong to stereotype, but I have had many bad experiences with NY / NJ people. There are enough of them acting this way to give me a negative impression of them.
I don't mean to lump the good ones with the bad ones. My apologies
Quote:
Originally Posted by ctribucher
What purpose do sweeping generalizations serve? It is not fair to lump all people into the same boat. Not all people from NY/NJ display the behavior you mention below. It's too bad you've experienced this, but to say it is true of all people who hail from NY/NJ is just not a valid argument.
I think the best way to overcome some of the insensitive comments made by northeasterners is to respond accordingly. For example, if one comments on grits (and they all do) ask them if they have ever heard of polenta (The exact same thing as grits but compacted, sliced and fried in Mediterranean countries). Then ask them what makes grits worse? Next,when they talk about not being able to get good N.Y. pizza down here, tell them that you weren't able to get good catfish and hushpuppies when you were in the northeast. Next time they tell you that southerners can't drive in the snow or ice, take photographs on the interstate of all of the northern cars in the ditches. When they talk about southerners being slow, tell them to check with the U.S. Department of Labor and the will find out that practically all southern states outproduce northern counterparts in like industries Output in their best state is equivalent to output in our worst. When they talk about housing (which I doubt if they will) but remind them that the typical shingle house with the oil heat in much of the northeast is not something that we typically envy. When the complain about not being able to find a job, mention something about what idiot would move without having something lined up. If they complain about southern schools, ask them how it is possible to have so many dumb@ss northerners if their schools are so much better. Can't really say anything about bad drivers. Americans generally are horrible drives regardless of where they come from.
I agree that many New Jersey and New York people are very cool and great to have for friends. But for those idiots that have that attitude, have a good comeback waiting. And yes, we do have some doozies of our own here in Dixie.
I LOVE ani Sorry I haven't been around in awhile!!!
I just wanted to agree with everything below, I normally don't even have to post because by the time I type anything out she has already posted my thoughts
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821
Yes . . . it is not helpful to focus on stereotypes. This is an old thread and really . . . it should just go away, Hee Hee.
There are occasionally rude newcomers. There are occasionally rude (and prickly) natives. We are all doing our best to find an equilibrium here. I have met delightful, gracious and very engaging people who have moved here from all over . . . People are just people. Sure, we may have different customs and traditions - but seems to me that it is progress to learn from each other . . .
The only time I get upset w/ newcomers is in the mountains of NC . . . and the people who are most litigious and rude are NOT from NY/NJ . . . but rather from Florida . . . and are part time residents. Floridians are not well thought of in western NC b/c of their litigious nature and disrespect to locals (condescending, rude). I DO NOT SEE THIS HERE IN CHARLOTTE. I really don't.
I hear midwestern as well as NEastern accents when I am out and about, and people are typically very polite and friendly regardless where they grew up. I find newcomers are sometimes even a bit SHY as they are feeling things out and learning their way around. So honestly, I wish we could just put this to rest . . . Southerners who are here are not going to suddenly "lose their Southern ways" as someone posted earlier . . . and honestly, I am wondering what "Southern ways" I need to fight to preserve, Hee Hee.
Rude is rude no matter where you are from or where you are now living. IF anyone is rude to me, I either ignore it or tell him/her straight to his/ her face that they are being RUDE and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT. You elbow me out of the way in a line and you will be confronted about it, no matter where you are from. And I wish to reiterate, I see that type of behavior from part time residents (snowbirds) in western NC, but I DO NOT SEE IT HERE.
Now, driving . . yes . . . seems people are frustrated here, but the road infrastructure SUX by anyone's standards - only sections of the highways seem adequate to me (and even those that are finished do not have enuff lanes, IMHO). So there is road rage and "road frustration" out there . . . some of it may be from newcomers honking horns (I rarely hear that these days - heard it more when I moved back in 2002-3) I think we are all trying to blend together here . . .
Maybe I am just not bothered by things that others see as "rude." And maybe I have no compunction about addressing rude behavior. I will tell you "Dern - no need to be HATEFUL." If you are from NY (or anywhere else) and are rude to me, I will tell you that you are in the South now and to cool it. However, I have never had to do this (in Charlotte) but maybe three times since 2002 . . . have to frequently do it in western NC, sadly.
This is just not an issue, IMHO, cause I think newcomers want to live peacefully here . . . and if they are being rude . . . for heaven's sake . . . just TELL THEM and move on . . . we are all learning here . . .
I LOVE ani Sorry I haven't been around in awhile!!!
I just wanted to agree with everything below, I normally don't even have to post because by the time I type anything out she has already posted my thoughts
T - Where the heck have you been????? Glad when you came back on, I was not sticking my foot in my mouth too badly.
I just want everyone to enjoy living here . . .
Oh - and BAN - thank you for posting that about Polenta. I have been saying this for years and you would not believe the incredulous looks I get! My g/ma fixed grits exactly like polenta (well - she fixed them many ways) so imagine when I realized, as an adult, that polenta was nothing more than - GRITS!!!! LOL!!!
Grits -by any other name - would be just as good, LOL . . . or . . Grits are Grits are Grits . . .
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Sorry I haven't been around in awhile!!!
