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Old 08-13-2012, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Charlotte NC
11,720 posts, read 9,343,453 times
Reputation: 5230

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Quote:
Originally Posted by urbancharlotte View Post
I think the extremes tend to attract extreme responses. For example, if I started a thread called "Why I think Charlotte is more progressive than NYC" it would attract ALL of the trolls and multiple account-members (y'all KNOW who you are). However, if I started a thread called "Charlotte, the next Detroit" that thread would attract the same. I will say this much though. Here recently, it has become less popular to be positive and happy about Charlotte's growth and progress. It's as if the folks who actually love Charlotte are having to hide that fact for fear of being ridiculed. I've noticed that many of the more positive folks are either posting less or not posting at all anymore.

Aside from the unemploment, this city is flatout better than it was when I left it back in the late 90s. I returned in late 2007 and this place IMO is just amazing now (especially uptown/downtown). However, I know that stating how I actually feel would attract 4 or 5 negative responses. So, in order to keep the negatives from coming, I often choose not to even bother making the honest positive statement in the first place. It seems that other folks who are generally positive and happy are doing the same; which leads to a forum where the negative posters are the loud majority.

IMO, careful moderation when it comes to folks who are always posting negative things should be considered. It's done on other sites and it's time that city-data look into doing the same. Negative and postive people are both welcomed, but there is a fine line between stating your opinion and baiting/trolling. Here recently, that line has been crossed so many times that I've often found myself no longer interested in giving my opinion anymore.


This is a serious problem IMO.
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Old 08-13-2012, 07:55 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,016,830 times
Reputation: 22370
It is great to feel upbeat, content and pleased with your choice of where you live. But the very things that please anyone particular person (or that a person has managed to successfully compromise with/live with) may be the things that are either 1. not important to someone else or 2. much bigger issues to someone else.

I am always puzzled when people take it so personally when someone expresses disappointment with this town. The snippy remarks of "just leave" or "it must be YOU - this city has it all" are not only dismissive, but indicate an inability to look beyond one's personal preferences and experiences. If folks don't agree w/ what a poster has to say, why jump on the bandwagon to "prove them wrong?" If what they say doesn't measure up to someone else's experiences, then explain why, sure . . . but it shouldn't get personal.

Over the years, I have seen newcomers (or folks considering moving here) ask questions or express dismay over various aspects of this city and then the cheerleading starts and I frankly think some really bad info has been shared.

For example . . . when someone expresses disappointment about mass transit . . . we get, "Oh, what is your problem? We have buses! WE HAVE LYNX!!!" or . . . "You are from Chicago - where did you think you were moving? Of course we don't have a robust transit system here! Stop whining!"

The lack of a robust mass transit system may turn out to be something that impacts a newcomer's life and maybe he/she moved here with a job, or with a spouse's job . . .and so it isn't a matter of "why did you choose to move here if Charlotte wasn't the best spot for you? If you don't like it here, leave!"

Some folks move here from a city where they DID have all/most of the things that were important to them and their lifestyle. Maybe they did not even realize that what they were experiencing was not the way "every large city is." When they get here and it hits them that Charlotte does not have XYZ . . . why does that make them a terrible person for missing those things and finding Charlotte less than desirable because of that?

I get the feeling that if members of the forum are not constantly cheerleading "how far Charlotte has come" and how this is the best spot on the planet, then we have done some disservice to the city. I just do not understand this attitude.

This city is a decent place to live but we have our problems like any city. Most of us have moved here and learned to compromise and fit in and "make do" and if there are deficiencies, we figure out how to fulfill those needs we might have for entertainment, dining, recreation, education - WHATEVER. But suggesting that everyone is gonna love it here cause we have a (__________fill in the blank, i.e. Whitewater Center and Carowinds, for ex) . . . is pretty shallow. Not everyone gives a damn about (___________fill in the blank). Maybe what that person misses is (_______fill in the blank) which we don't have here -- or what we have is a poor substitute for what that person was used to when they lived elsewhere.

Telling folks that all they need to do is meet people and form a new social support system is non-advice, sounds like pandering and blowing off a person's concerns. Of course they need to do that. I doubt there is anyone who has ever moved anywhere hasn't known that this was a real issue! That is why the majority of people hesitate to move - they have to start over with building a support system (for some, that is what they WANT to do - start over - but that is not the case for everyone). Seems very condescending to brush off someone's disappointment or complaints about this city by saying "you just don't have the right friends yet."

Being straight-forward about the unemployment situation here seems to never be well-accepted on this forum, either. I sure WANT folks to tell me the straight poop when I ask a question like that. When my son was looking for jobs b/f he graduated, I inquired on several other city forums about the prospects of his getting a job (in the midst of a recession) and people were very to the point. They gave me specific info on how the area had been impacted, how many folks they knew were out of work in the same field, how hard it was for them to get a job (or replace one they had lost) . . . they gave me specific examples of cost of living, where there were decent apartments in the price range we would be considering, what the social life was like, how easy/hard it would be to form a new social circle . . . That was helpful! Had they all just been cheerleaders and said - "don't worry! we have everything here! come on down -- I found a job in 6 weeks of moving here! No problem. The UE rate just looks bad on paper." . . . I would have felt I had received no help at all. Yet, that is the type of cheerleading advice that seems to elicit happiness on this forum. You dare to actually give cautionary info and it turns into "some posters on this forum don't like newcomers."

The best advice folks can give is based on their own knowledge plus what the demographics/statistics show. Opinions, positive and negative - matter. They give a cross section of information. But I don't think anyone is so ignorant as to not realize that "YMMV" - your mileage may vary.

I, personally, do not feel that giving both positive and negative views on any given topic posted by someone with a question is a bad thing. Opinions are going to vary b/c no two people experience the same things. And, we all come from different backgrounds . . . not everyone is looking for the same things. In the same vein, not everyone is going to count the same things as important that I do. Nor are they going to be turned off by the same things I find problematic. There is no one right answer to the majority of posts we get on this forum.

Pointing out the negatives may be the kindest thing we can to do for someone who is thinking about moving to Charlotte after seeing a video (or reading a slick article) on the bucolic, progressive, charming, movers-and-shakers, upscale, low cost of living New South life we all have in Charlotte, NC.
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Old 08-13-2012, 09:14 AM
 
222 posts, read 457,238 times
Reputation: 344
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
It is great to feel upbeat, content and pleased with your choice of where you live. But the very things that please anyone particular person (or that a person has managed to successfully compromise with/live with) may be the things that are either 1. not important to someone else or 2. much bigger issues to someone else.

I am always puzzled when people take it so personally when someone expresses disappointment with this town. The snippy remarks of "just leave" or "it must be YOU - this city has it all" are not only dismissive, but indicate an inability to look beyond one's personal preferences and experiences. If folks don't agree w/ what a poster has to say, why jump on the bandwagon to "prove them wrong?" If what they say doesn't measure up to someone else's experiences, then explain why, sure . . . but it shouldn't get personal.

Over the years, I have seen newcomers (or folks considering moving here) ask questions or express dismay over various aspects of this city and then the cheerleading starts and I frankly think some really bad info has been shared.

For example . . . when someone expresses disappointment about mass transit . . . we get, "Oh, what is your problem? We have buses! WE HAVE LYNX!!!" or . . . "You are from Chicago - where did you think you were moving? Of course we don't have a robust transit system here! Stop whining!"

The lack of a robust mass transit system may turn out to be something that impacts a newcomer's life and maybe he/she moved here with a job, or with a spouse's job . . .and so it isn't a matter of "why did you choose to move here if Charlotte wasn't the best spot for you? If you don't like it here, leave!"

Some folks move here from a city where they DID have all/most of the things that were important to them and their lifestyle. Maybe they did not even realize that what they were experiencing was not the way "every large city is." When they get here and it hits them that Charlotte does not have XYZ . . . why does that make them a terrible person for missing those things and finding Charlotte less than desirable because of that?

I get the feeling that if members of the forum are not constantly cheerleading "how far Charlotte has come" and how this is the best spot on the planet, then we have done some disservice to the city. I just do not understand this attitude.

This city is a decent place to live but we have our problems like any city. Most of us have moved here and learned to compromise and fit in and "make do" and if there are deficiencies, we figure out how to fulfill those needs we might have for entertainment, dining, recreation, education - WHATEVER. But suggesting that everyone is gonna love it here cause we have a (__________fill in the blank, i.e. Whitewater Center and Carowinds, for ex) . . . is pretty shallow. Not everyone gives a damn about (___________fill in the blank). Maybe what that person misses is (_______fill in the blank) which we don't have here -- or what we have is a poor substitute for what that person was used to when they lived elsewhere.

Telling folks that all they need to do is meet people and form a new social support system is non-advice, sounds like pandering and blowing off a person's concerns. Of course they need to do that. I doubt there is anyone who has ever moved anywhere hasn't known that this was a real issue! That is why the majority of people hesitate to move - they have to start over with building a support system (for some, that is what they WANT to do - start over - but that is not the case for everyone). Seems very condescending to brush off someone's disappointment or complaints about this city by saying "you just don't have the right friends yet."

Being straight-forward about the unemployment situation here seems to never be well-accepted on this forum, either. I sure WANT folks to tell me the straight poop when I ask a question like that. When my son was looking for jobs b/f he graduated, I inquired on several other city forums about the prospects of his getting a job (in the midst of a recession) and people were very to the point. They gave me specific info on how the area had been impacted, how many folks they knew were out of work in the same field, how hard it was for them to get a job (or replace one they had lost) . . . they gave me specific examples of cost of living, where there were decent apartments in the price range we would be considering, what the social life was like, how easy/hard it would be to form a new social circle . . . That was helpful! Had they all just been cheerleaders and said - "don't worry! we have everything here! come on down -- I found a job in 6 weeks of moving here! No problem. The UE rate just looks bad on paper." . . . I would have felt I had received no help at all. Yet, that is the type of cheerleading advice that seems to elicit happiness on this forum. You dare to actually give cautionary info and it turns into "some posters on this forum don't like newcomers."

The best advice folks can give is based on their own knowledge plus what the demographics/statistics show. Opinions, positive and negative - matter. They give a cross section of information. But I don't think anyone is so ignorant as to not realize that "YMMV" - your mileage may vary.

I, personally, do not feel that giving both positive and negative views on any given topic posted by someone with a question is a bad thing. Opinions are going to vary b/c no two people experience the same things. And, we all come from different backgrounds . . . not everyone is looking for the same things. In the same vein, not everyone is going to count the same things as important that I do. Nor are they going to be turned off by the same things I find problematic. There is no one right answer to the majority of posts we get on this forum.

Pointing out the negatives may be the kindest thing we can to do for someone who is thinking about moving to Charlotte after seeing a video (or reading a slick article) on the bucolic, progressive, charming, movers-and-shakers, upscale, low cost of living New South life we all have in Charlotte, NC.
^^^This post here should be required reading for everyone who posts on the Charlotte forum. Seriously, a moderator should make this a sticky at the top of the page, because it sums up exactly the way I feel about the Charlotte forum on City Data and how to make it better.

To add my 2 cents, what people have to realize is that a lot of the disappointments or frustrations with Charlotte that are voiced on this forum are from people who just need a place to vent. Not everyone who says, "I am unhappy with Charlotte's nightlife/culture/art scene/whatever" are looking for the other members of this forum to provide them with a solution. Most people who have realized that Charlotte doesn't have the things that are important to them are smart enough to know that the folks of City Data aren't like the genie from Aladdin, and that we can't snap our fingers and grant three wishes, like giving Charlotte a more exuberant nightlife or a better art scene or whatever is important to the person unhappy with Charlotte. Most of the time the unhappy person just wants someone to say, "Gee, I'm sorry you're not happy with Charlotte. That really sucks. If nightlife/art scene/whatever was important to me I'd feel the same way!" Most people are just looking for their concerns to be empathized with and for their feelings to be validated. That can be done in two or three sentences. Instead, we end up with paragraph upon paragraph of people arguing and bickering, and forum members who are probably members of the Chamber of Commerce complaining that people who say anything negative about Charlotte are making Charlotte "look bad." To those people I say: if you're really concerned that some random comment on an Internet forum is going to cause your local businesses to lose money, you're the one with the problem.
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Old 08-13-2012, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Charlotte,NC
33 posts, read 34,285 times
Reputation: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by movingjulie View Post
I am sure I will pay dearly for this and probably sign off! lol
jajaja!!!...hahaha!!...very funny
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Old 08-13-2012, 09:45 AM
 
Location: The 12th State
22,974 posts, read 58,480,053 times
Reputation: 14917
Quote:
Originally Posted by DMG721 View Post
^^^This post here should be required reading for everyone who posts on the Charlotte forum. Seriously, a moderator should make this a sticky at the top of the page, because it sums up exactly the way I feel about the Charlotte forum on City Data and how to make it better.

To add my 2 cents, what people have to realize is that a lot of the disappointments or frustrations with Charlotte that are voiced on this forum are from people who just need a place to vent. Not everyone who says, "I am unhappy with Charlotte's nightlife/culture/art scene/whatever" are looking for the other members of this forum to provide them with a solution. Most people who have realized that Charlotte doesn't have the things that are important to them are smart enough to know that the folks of City Data aren't like the genie from Aladdin, and that we can't snap our fingers and grant three wishes, like giving Charlotte a more exuberant nightlife or a better art scene or whatever is important to the person unhappy with Charlotte. Most of the time the unhappy person just wants someone to say, "Gee, I'm sorry you're not happy with Charlotte. That really sucks. If nightlife/art scene/whatever was important to me I'd feel the same way!" Most people are just looking for their concerns to be empathized with and for their feelings to be validated. That can be done in two or three sentences. Instead, we end up with paragraph upon paragraph of people arguing and bickering, and forum members who are probably members of the Chamber of Commerce complaining that people who say anything negative about Charlotte are making Charlotte "look bad." To those people I say: if you're really concerned that some random comment on an Internet forum is going to cause your local businesses to lose money, you're the one with the problem.
Give me a title and Ill do a copy of the post but I want to wait for after the week of DNC as I am hoping someone will create a DNC discussion thread of whats going on closures etc.....

Far as this thread topic this forum has great members who are very insightful some want me to moderate opinions because they disagree with them but Im only here to moderate things outlined in terms of service. It up you guys to agree or disagree with someone opinion as long as we dont attack the speaker of the idea.
Quote:
Our opinions on a location or issue are just that, opinions. Highly subjective. Personal preferences. Quirks, even. Leave wiggle room for dialogue, others may not see things the same as you, or been there as long as you, and any one of us can be wrong. Pouncing on someone you disagree with runs contrary to the spirit of this board and its members. We are here to help each other.
This forum over the the last 5 years is one of CD popular city forums and I always moderate out of fairness without bias.
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Old 08-13-2012, 09:50 AM
 
6,270 posts, read 9,993,341 times
Reputation: 4723
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Telling folks that all they need to do is meet people and form a new social support system is non-advice, sounds like pandering and blowing off a person's concerns.
You mean like telling an atheist in Hickory that she needs to go to church for a better social experience?

To me (a person who is not religious) such advice sounds like "pandering and blowing off a person's concerns" to be quite honest. However, I didn't pounce on that poster who made such a ridiculous post; I actually defended her and tried my best to understand where she was coming from. Maybe (just maybe) if more folks would try to understand where the other person is coming from, this forum's quality would improve. Just a thought.

As for the so called cheerleaders (when it comes to the topic of mass transit, Carowinds, Whitewater, etc) I don't see a whole lot of postings about those things. I really don't. Those things are only mentioned when folks ask "what is there to do in Charlotte"? FWIW, here is my most recent post about mass transit when the OP asked about it first....
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbancharlotte View Post
Any neighborhood within a 6 mile radius of downtown Charlotte has "decent" mass transit. By "decent", I mean a M-F average headway of 15 minutes during the day; 30 minutes by night. Service generally starts at 530 am and ends at 2 am. Charlotte Transit is basically a 20 hour a day service, which isn't too bad by NC standards (horrible by Boston standards though).
Relocating to Charlotte NC from Boston MA

^^^So if this honest opinion of Charlotte's transit when compared to Boston's is "cheerleading"; then I'm guilty as charged. Furthermore, I do ride Charlotte's transit more than 10 trips per week. I find it silly for anyone who is an occasional rider (hint hint) to give their two cents on the system at all. I mean, if you're not a regular customer of XYZ, how on Earth can you give accurate and helpful advice on XYZ (this goes for plays, musicals, museums, mass transit, clubs/nightlife, Carowinds, concerts, Whitewater, etc)?

As for those who tell folks about Carowinds and Whitewater, why not? Word of mouth from my friends and neighbors is how I learned about many of the fun things there are to do in this area. Again, this is no worse than telling an atheist to go to church. If anything, I personally tell folks about the YMCA moreso than anything else. The Y has youth programs as well as adult activities such as Yoga and Zumba. I go for the basketball and free weights. Charlotte has a rather decent YMCA community. However, a person can risk being called a "cheerleader" if they share too many of their positive personal experiences with Charlotte, NC so I'd better stop.

On a side note, I can remember (about a year ago) a group from Sun City down in Indian Land who was on the LYNX. They (a group of at least 50) all seemed to be over the age of 55 and they were laughing and having a good time. I'm not sure what they were on their way to see uptown, but they thought that being able to ride the light rail into uptown was the coolest thing (especially the ones who were from larger cities where rail is everywhere). I usually don't share personal experiences like this (on this site) because I know how some folks would react. Still though, to see a large of group of (I'll be honest) older white folks on a crowded train filled with "ethnic" youth and enjoying EVERY minute of it made me like this city a whole lot more. (I'll be even more honest) It made me realize that the comments and opinions of the same demographic as the Sun City residents here on city-data don't represent all of those who now proudly call Charlotte home. If anything, I'd say that the vast majority of the posters and comments here on city-data are the loud conservative minority who have lost touch with Charlotte 2012, while desperately clinging to a Charlotte that existed back before I was born (not talking about you speciafically ANI, I'm just talking in general).

Just from me and my wife's videos alone, you know that we take the time to experience Charlotte on a pedestrian level. Some of the things that we've caught on camera would be banned from youtube if we tried to upload them. We've seen and heard many comments about this city from folks in real life (just by listening to loud conversations without adding any of our own opinions). Generally speaking, this city is full of folks who become self appointed "cheerleaders". That's just what happens when folks find a place that they like. I say it's a good thing; you say it's not. THAT's the difference and I can totally understand your point of view. Just know that when I'm uptown shooting videos, there are about 5-10 others doing the same with their smart phones and cameras (sometimes more).

So I have to ask, would you rather move to a place that is upbeat about itself, or would you rather move to a place that is always down and out? Many of the so called cheerleaders (as I've shown in my mass transit posting) are fairly honest about what it is that Charlotte is lacking. One of my biggest beefs with Charlotte is the lack of retail options downtown. IMO, the midtown area should have been built on top of the surface parking near BofA stadium; Southpark should not exist and those same stores should be facing a street like Brevard or College. That said, does it really make sense to gripe about what it is you don't like on every post? Think about it, if you are always (or mostly) negative about the city in which you live, you tell folks alot about yourself. To me, I'm thinking "then why is this person living in Charlotte for years and years without ever attempting to leave; they must be trying to keep newcomers out". Think about it ANI, how many times have the negative folks been accused of trying to keep out newcomers? You can't live in a city, be mostly negative about that city, and still come off as being reasonable. You just can't. You'd have to leave that city first, then your negative credibility goes up. It's like the wife who complains about the husband who beats her, yet she's hugging and kissing on that jerk the very same night. She needs to leave, then folks would take her more seriously. I hope this makes sense because I think I've just lost myself....

Last edited by urbancharlotte; 08-13-2012 at 10:00 AM..
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Charlotte NC
11,720 posts, read 9,343,453 times
Reputation: 5230
yeah....what Urban said!
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
7,041 posts, read 13,104,253 times
Reputation: 2323
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
It is great to feel upbeat, content and pleased with your choice of where you live. But the very things that please anyone particular person (or that a person has managed to successfully compromise with/live with) may be the things that are either 1. not important to someone else or 2. much bigger issues to someone else.

I am always puzzled when people take it so personally when someone expresses disappointment with this town. The snippy remarks of "just leave" or "it must be YOU - this city has it all" are not only dismissive, but indicate an inability to look beyond one's personal preferences and experiences. If folks don't agree w/ what a poster has to say, why jump on the bandwagon to "prove them wrong?" If what they say doesn't measure up to someone else's experiences, then explain why, sure . . . but it shouldn't get personal.

Over the years, I have seen newcomers (or folks considering moving here) ask questions or express dismay over various aspects of this city and then the cheerleading starts and I frankly think some really bad info has been shared.

For example . . . when someone expresses disappointment about mass transit . . . we get, "Oh, what is your problem? We have buses! WE HAVE LYNX!!!" or . . . "You are from Chicago - where did you think you were moving? Of course we don't have a robust transit system here! Stop whining!"

The lack of a robust mass transit system may turn out to be something that impacts a newcomer's life and maybe he/she moved here with a job, or with a spouse's job . . .and so it isn't a matter of "why did you choose to move here if Charlotte wasn't the best spot for you? If you don't like it here, leave!"

Some folks move here from a city where they DID have all/most of the things that were important to them and their lifestyle. Maybe they did not even realize that what they were experiencing was not the way "every large city is." When they get here and it hits them that Charlotte does not have XYZ . . . why does that make them a terrible person for missing those things and finding Charlotte less than desirable because of that?

I get the feeling that if members of the forum are not constantly cheerleading "how far Charlotte has come" and how this is the best spot on the planet, then we have done some disservice to the city. I just do not understand this attitude.

This city is a decent place to live but we have our problems like any city. Most of us have moved here and learned to compromise and fit in and "make do" and if there are deficiencies, we figure out how to fulfill those needs we might have for entertainment, dining, recreation, education - WHATEVER. But suggesting that everyone is gonna love it here cause we have a (__________fill in the blank, i.e. Whitewater Center and Carowinds, for ex) . . . is pretty shallow. Not everyone gives a damn about (___________fill in the blank). Maybe what that person misses is (_______fill in the blank) which we don't have here -- or what we have is a poor substitute for what that person was used to when they lived elsewhere.

Telling folks that all they need to do is meet people and form a new social support system is non-advice, sounds like pandering and blowing off a person's concerns. Of course they need to do that. I doubt there is anyone who has ever moved anywhere hasn't known that this was a real issue! That is why the majority of people hesitate to move - they have to start over with building a support system (for some, that is what they WANT to do - start over - but that is not the case for everyone). Seems very condescending to brush off someone's disappointment or complaints about this city by saying "you just don't have the right friends yet."

Being straight-forward about the unemployment situation here seems to never be well-accepted on this forum, either. I sure WANT folks to tell me the straight poop when I ask a question like that. When my son was looking for jobs b/f he graduated, I inquired on several other city forums about the prospects of his getting a job (in the midst of a recession) and people were very to the point. They gave me specific info on how the area had been impacted, how many folks they knew were out of work in the same field, how hard it was for them to get a job (or replace one they had lost) . . . they gave me specific examples of cost of living, where there were decent apartments in the price range we would be considering, what the social life was like, how easy/hard it would be to form a new social circle . . . That was helpful! Had they all just been cheerleaders and said - "don't worry! we have everything here! come on down -- I found a job in 6 weeks of moving here! No problem. The UE rate just looks bad on paper." . . . I would have felt I had received no help at all. Yet, that is the type of cheerleading advice that seems to elicit happiness on this forum. You dare to actually give cautionary info and it turns into "some posters on this forum don't like newcomers."

The best advice folks can give is based on their own knowledge plus what the demographics/statistics show. Opinions, positive and negative - matter. They give a cross section of information. But I don't think anyone is so ignorant as to not realize that "YMMV" - your mileage may vary.

I, personally, do not feel that giving both positive and negative views on any given topic posted by someone with a question is a bad thing. Opinions are going to vary b/c no two people experience the same things. And, we all come from different backgrounds . . . not everyone is looking for the same things. In the same vein, not everyone is going to count the same things as important that I do. Nor are they going to be turned off by the same things I find problematic. There is no one right answer to the majority of posts we get on this forum.

Pointing out the negatives may be the kindest thing we can to do for someone who is thinking about moving to Charlotte after seeing a video (or reading a slick article) on the bucolic, progressive, charming, movers-and-shakers, upscale, low cost of living New South life we all have in Charlotte, NC.
Can't rep you, Ani, but, you are :RIGHT ON~!!!!!!!!!!

make up a name and let Sunny post it as a sticky!!!!!!!
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:10 AM
 
222 posts, read 457,238 times
Reputation: 344
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbancharlotte View Post
Think about it ANI, how many times have the negative folks been accused of trying to keep out newcomers? You can't live in a city, be mostly negative about that city, and still come off as being reasonable. You just can't. You'd have to leave that city first, then your negative credibility goes up. It's like the wife who complains about the husband who beats her, yet she's hugging and kissing on that jerk the very same night. She needs to leave, then folks would take her more seriously. I hope this makes sense because I think I've just lost myself....
First of all, you're giving people way too much credit. I seriously doubt any member of this forum is putting in the time and effort to try and trick newcomers into staying away by strategically saying bad things about Charlotte. You and I can both spot the people who don't want new people to come to Charlotte. They say things like "Go back to New York!" They are really obvious about their intentions. Nothing sneaky about them.

Secondly, I think it's a bit much to compare staying in a city that you don't like and staying with a spouse who physically abuses you. I would even suggest that such an analogy is in poor taste. This is the worst economy since the 1930s. A lot of people aren't going to give up a job in this environment just because they don't like the nightlife or culture of the city in which they're living. Or what about a person who can't move because they're underwater on their home? Further, a lot of the complainers probably ARE looking for jobs elsewhere, trying to sell their homes, etc, but unable to do so right now. So telling them to "shut up until they move away" is essentially doing the very thing that Ani was telling the forum NOT to do.

And again I have to ask, why do you and so many others CARE whether new people come to Charlotte? Are you a member of the Chamber of Commerce or something?
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:27 AM
 
6,270 posts, read 9,993,341 times
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Originally Posted by DMG721 View Post
First of all, you're giving people way too much credit. I seriously doubt any member of this forum is putting in the time and effort to try and trick newcomers into staying away by strategically saying bad things about Charlotte. You and I can both spot the people who don't want new people to come to Charlotte. They say things like "Go back to New York!" They are really obvious about their intentions. Nothing sneaky about them.

Secondly, I think it's a bit much to compare staying in a city that you don't like and staying with a spouse who physically abuses you. I would even suggest that such an analogy is in poor taste. This is the worst economy since the 1930s. A lot of people aren't going to give up a job in this environment just because they don't like the nightlife or culture of the city in which they're living. Or what about a person who can't move because they're underwater on their home? Further, a lot of the complainers probably ARE looking for jobs elsewhere, trying to sell their homes, etc, but unable to do so right now. So telling them to "shut up until they move away" is essentially doing the very thing that Ani was telling the forum NOT to do.

And again I have to ask, why do you and so many others CARE whether new people come to Charlotte? Are you a member of the Chamber of Commerce or something?
Maybe you missed the point of that analogy, but I stand by what I stated. As for folks moving to Charlotte, I personally don't care whether they do or don't. I just know that this community (or any community for that matter) would be better off if all folks who wished to be here were here, and all folks who don't were gone. I hate to be so blunt about it, but it is what it is. In the spirit of this "be nice" thread, I say that with a smile.

FWIW, my mother was in an abusive relationship with my dad and I repect her so much for leaving him and NYC behind. That personal experience has more to do with my analogy than anything else (but that goes back to what I said earlier about folks not even trying to understand what another poster stated; or at least asking for clarity before jumping to conclusions).
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