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Old 01-26-2013, 04:28 PM
 
3 posts, read 2,312 times
Reputation: 15

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i plan on moving from dc to charlotte soon and was wondering would it be a benficial move. i have a 3 yr old who i am raising by myself and also whose father passed away a year ago and i kinda want to get out of the area for a while. from what i hear as far as housing thats the only thing thats cheaper then living here (dc) but everything else is still the same. i kinda just want to move on with my life create a fresh start for myself and especially for my son. when the accident happened with his dad i had to move in with my son grandmother so its kinda arkward living with my bf mom and i feel like i will truely never be able to move on in that atmosphere.it also happened in the area i live in so im constantly reminded everytime i drive pass the street. his gravesite is maybe ten mins from my house its just so many burndens here that i think im trying to push away and its hard to do so im looking to go somewhere affordable but easy to maintain considering i have a little one,....... its not so much that im trying to run away from my thoughts as it is i want to have a fresh start. a yr later my son still asks about his dad naturally and its just painful i know that the move itself would not help the pain i am not indicating that at all but my bf family all went to therapy to deal and i was the only one who didnt go so i feel like i still have alot of unresolved issues im dealing with. just to move away for a yr i think would maybe give me some me time. i try to be careful not to even cry around his mom just because i dont want to upset her with all my stress and heartache cuz i know she has alot of heartache 2. he was the father of my child but i had only known him for 4 yrs she has been with him all 21 yrs he was alive on this earth so i dont even want to imagine the grief she has. i think i pretty much made my mind up but im open to all opinions,......
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Old 01-27-2013, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Charlotte. Or Detroit.
1,455 posts, read 3,651,094 times
Reputation: 3264
Quote:
Originally Posted by new_life2013 View Post
i plan on moving from dc to charlotte soon and was wondering would it be a benficial move. i have a 3 yr old who i am raising by myself and also whose father passed away a year ago and i kinda want to get out of the area for a while. from what i hear as far as housing thats the only thing thats cheaper then living here (dc) but everything else is still the same. i kinda just want to move on with my life create a fresh start for myself and especially for my son. when the accident happened with his dad i had to move in with my son grandmother so its kinda arkward living with my bf mom and i feel like i will truely never be able to move on in that atmosphere.it also happened in the area i live in so im constantly reminded everytime i drive pass the street. his gravesite is maybe ten mins from my house its just so many burndens here that i think im trying to push away and its hard to do so im looking to go somewhere affordable but easy to maintain considering i have a little one,....... its not so much that im trying to run away from my thoughts as it is i want to have a fresh start. a yr later my son still asks about his dad naturally and its just painful i know that the move itself would not help the pain i am not indicating that at all but my bf family all went to therapy to deal and i was the only one who didnt go so i feel like i still have alot of unresolved issues im dealing with. just to move away for a yr i think would maybe give me some me time. i try to be careful not to even cry around his mom just because i dont want to upset her with all my stress and heartache cuz i know she has alot of heartache 2. he was the father of my child but i had only known him for 4 yrs she has been with him all 21 yrs he was alive on this earth so i dont even want to imagine the grief she has. i think i pretty much made my mind up but im open to all opinions,......
I'm so sorry for your loss. My advice would be to try therapy to help you deal with those unresolved issues. Then, when you're in a better place emotionally, it might be easier to decide if you want to move, and to where. It sounds to me like you are still hurting and grieving, and that may not be the best time to make a decision as important as this. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
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Old 01-28-2013, 12:33 AM
 
Location: South Charlotte
403 posts, read 765,336 times
Reputation: 295
NewLife.......I too am sorry for your loss. First and foremost, I feel that you really need to go to grief counseling. It may not be what you want to do....but it is what you need to do. You can't move forward....until you have resolved the issues that you can't even imagine that will follow you...no matter "where" you go. You need to be emotionally strong....so that you can make mature decisions. Moving would only intensify the problems that you have now. Why not do the counseling...for whatever time it takes, and in the meantime get all the information that you can get about Charlotte (our newspaper The Observer has a great magazine called Living Here...perhaps you could write them)....it will be like getting your eggs in a row....being able to make this important decision, where you might live....a job if you need one...and even day care. You want to make the "right" decision for your circumstances, with no regrets.
Good Luck....I will be pulling for you!!!
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Old 01-28-2013, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Charlotte NC
11,723 posts, read 9,374,209 times
Reputation: 5239
Go to counseling or find someone who you can talk openly about your anger, sadness, depression, etc..

You can't run away from your grief. Also think about your son and his Dads family. They lost him and now you want to move the child away from them too?
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Old 01-28-2013, 11:15 AM
 
104 posts, read 272,602 times
Reputation: 93
I agree seek counseling think that would help. Taking your son far away may create additional stress on your son and his grandmother. I wish you and your family, much peace.
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