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I was talking to a Southerner, that we befriended through our children's sports activities. This person knows that we're recent transplants from New Jersey. He and his wife have been extremely welcoming and nice to our family.
Yesterday we got into a conversation about Northerners moving to Charlotte. I was curious, so I decided to ask him a question directly (maybe I shouldn't have). I asked him if Southerners really hate Northerners as much as I have heard.
He looked me straight in the eyes and said: "Yes, we do, we really do."
Not a smile, nothing. I guess I got what I had coming to me. At first I thought he was making a joke, but then I realized that he was serious.
What should I make of this? This is someone who has been nothing but friendly and forth coming in the past. Is this Southern hospitality? Or a joke?
Location: Wherever it is, I am sure it is cosmopolitan
674 posts, read 804,895 times
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Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to I guess!
Look, there are jerks everywhere. There are a lot of Northerners who would say the same, make an inbreeding joke, or a joke about stupidity if you started a conversation somewhere in Boston about Southerners. Shake it off, chalk it up to that person's stupidity, and move on.
I was talking to a Southerner, that we befriended through our children's sports activities. This person knows that we're recent transplants from New Jersey. He and his wife have been extremely welcoming and nice to our family.
Yesterday we got into a conversation about Northerners moving to Charlotte. I was curious, so I decided to ask him a question directly (maybe I shouldn't have). I asked him if Southerners really hate Northerners as much as I have heard.
He looked me straight in the eyes and said: "Yes, we do, we really do."
Not a smile, nothing. I guess I got what I had coming to me. At first I thought he was making a joke, but then I realized that he was serious.
What should I make of this? This is someone who has been nothing but friendly and forth coming in the past. Is this Southern hospitality? Or a joke?
As someone myself that happens to be a transplant (4 years - West Coast) my thoughts would be.....
Why did I just ask this man a very general question about Southerners versus Northerners and then act surprised by his answer? (many years ago I learned a very valuable lesson...Never ask a question that I'm not prepared to hear the answer to).
Secondly...while his answer may now change how I view this one particular person...I surely have enough sense not to let it chage my viewpoint on other folks.
I am a Northerner myself. And yes, the truth is, a lot of Southerners do not like us down here. I have befriended a lot of Southerners here and they tell me too that same thing.
I wouldn't take it personally, obviously they do not like the northerners in general, not you in particular.
I am a Northerner myself. And yes, the truth is, a lot of Southerners do not like us down here. I have befriended a lot of Southerners here and they tell me too that same thing.
I wouldn't take it personally, obviously they do not like the northerners in general, not you in particular.
Hey..... at least the guys honest
I agree here. You asked a general question and you got a general answer. Personally I would not think it was ment towards me. I'd let the answer go in one ear and out the other. I'm sure if he didn't like you he would not be talking with you in the first place!! IMPO.
I would have asked him, "So what exactly do Northerners do that Southerners don't that makes him not like Northerners?" Is it:
their attitude
driving
kids
way they behave in the supermarket
always saying,"In New York, you can......"
complaining about the single life
what?
Im glad you wrote this.. always saying "In New York, you can...."
This has always driven me crazy. No matter where your from, this can really be insulting and annoying.
I am from Boston (proper). And I remember when the college kids would come up from NY, California or wherever, they would always say things like "well in NY the bars are open all night", or "In NY the trains run all night" or "In Caifornia we all have central air".. blah, blah, blah.... I could go on and on.. But I remember it bothered the heck out of me. It annoyed me to no end when people said things like that. I used to always say back, "then why don't you go back to your central air and all night clubs?, Boston doesnt want you here anyway!"
But that was then and this is now.. and it still goes on and it still bothers me. The only difference is, I am an adult now and the topics are more adult like.
My point is, its annoying, and I make sure to bite my tongue when I start to say "In Boston we...." And I think everyone should make an effort to do so. We are here in Charlotte, NC. And its wonderful and we all need to respect those who were here before us. And we need to recognize that its insulting to the Southerners when we constantly say "in Ny, Boston, Cali, NJ, we...."
I was talking to a Southerner, that we befriended through our children's sports activities. This person knows that we're recent transplants from New Jersey. He and his wife have been extremely welcoming and nice to our family.
Yesterday we got into a conversation about Northerners moving to Charlotte. I was curious, so I decided to ask him a question directly (maybe I shouldn't have). I asked him if Southerners really hate Northerners as much as I have heard.
He looked me straight in the eyes and said: "Yes, we do, we really do."
Not a smile, nothing. I guess I got what I had coming to me. At first I thought he was making a joke, but then I realized that he was serious.
What should I make of this? This is someone who has been nothing but friendly and forth coming in the past. Is this Southern hospitality? Or a joke?
Come on, give me a break. You actually are going to take his word that all southerners hate yankees. If you do, you probably should move back up north. That is pretty idiotic. Sorry. Everyone I know judges people by the way they act, not where they come from.
I think anybody which such close minded thinking and prejudiced doesn't deserve to be paid any attention. I am engaged to a native Southerner, her family is from Albemarle, they never get into the silly north versus south thing, my boss is from Nashville and married and Italian guy from Rochester, NY. I think it is just some close-minded people that may not like the growth of the city, but as I have stated before, this area would be another Buffalo, NY with losing pouplation and the 2nd poorest city in the country if it wasn't for all of us trasnplants. I know so many southerners who are happy and love most of the changes in the area. One is my coworker and re agent, so he likes the growth; many are my other coworkers, a couple who were born and raised here, who appreciate the jobs, the entertainment, the family stuff, etc. So I really think it is only a select few close-minded stuck in the 19th century people that think like this. To me it doesn't seem to be the norm.
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