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Old 08-22-2013, 03:23 PM
 
3,455 posts, read 3,138,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoPhils View Post
In my experiences both Charlotte and the Triangle seem to lean towards being more family-oriented, but both do have their younger spots.
Family-oriented to an extent but both cities/metros have substantially transformed in regards to options/activities for the younger professional crowd. in the 80s and 90s, RDU definitely had a lot of collegiate students and young professionals but there weren't places like Glenwood South (Raleigh, North Hills (Raleigh), Durham (Brightleaf, American Tobacco Historic District, Warehouse, etc) for young professionals to gather or socialize. Don't get it twisted, I lived there a long time and that was a common complaint or lack thereof...not so much anymore. I despise malls but Southpoint Mall (Durham) and area got it right.
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Old 08-22-2013, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Murica
818 posts, read 643,354 times
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This is reality. Even kids in colleges are stuck with house parties..

When I was in my teens(nineties) and twenties(early two-thousands) here you had to go to house or dorm parties. Sometimes there were raves in old warehouses in Winston-salem and Greensboro. If you went to clubs it was usually cheesy DJs, awkward yuppies, and boring, and if you didn't keep buying drinks you got tossed..
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Old 08-22-2013, 09:15 PM
 
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Honestly I think the problem you are describing could happen in any city. Sometimes you have to make your own fun.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Aristotle View Post
Family-oriented to an extent but both cities/metros have substantially transformed in regards to options/activities for the younger professional crowd.
It is also worth noting though that as the OP basically mentioned, while there are a good amount of young professionals in the area, a lot of them are engaged/married and about ready to start families themselves. Seems like OP isn't quite ready for that yet which is fine. Although instead of trying to find a lot of friends maybe it'd be easier to just find one girlfriend and then I'm sure he won't be so bored :-)
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
162 posts, read 179,872 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darlingrd View Post
Hi,

I'm a 25-year-old male. I just moved to Charlotte a couple months ago. I am so frickin' bored to death. I've lived in several cities my whole life (mostly America, then Europe), but never have I had the hardest time meeting people. I have always, always been able to meet people my age and make friends everywhere I go in the U.S. For some reason, Charlotte, I cannot meet a single person like myself to be friends with. I have had easier times when I traveled to Nashville, TN or Lexington, KY, but Charlotte- Where's all the interesting 20-somethings?? I go to Uptown, NoDa, and downtown, but nothing.

I even tried going around the college areas or trying high-rated bars on Yelp, but no luck. People say the only way to "possibly" make friends is by going to church, but apparently churches here are all "family oriented." Elevation scares the hell out of me (it seems like a weird cult and too Christiany for my taste). It seems in the South that most people my age are already married and popping out babies. I am really feeling I made a huge mistake moving here, and now I feel trapped because my living arrangement and job. I'm trying to make plans to move either to western NC or to places like Raleigh soon. Help. This is pathetic. Just venting, don't mean to complain or offend anyone who likes it here.
Replying to the posters on here. Charlotte primarily is a family, chuch and work type crowd. That is how people know each other and how they tend to soicalize. People really aren't eager to go out and meet new people. People do go to the bar, but typically they're really unsure about meeting new individuals. Its weird because you're "lonely" in public. Your expereince in other cities and Europe, if they're like mine, shows that people are a lot more friendier than this. My personal experience: Very few people in CLT know their neighbors. (That eliminates the "southern hosipitality" claim)

There are meetup groups... however in my time in CLT every one of those filled up, or were eventually filled up with eventually dramatic or toxic individuals. (I didn't have issues with the MAC group... but I didn't go to many events) Even the really nerdy (reddit) group ran into this same issue. Its irritating, but thats what happened. The best way to meet people is via house parties. But that implies you know people who throw them, or have people to invite to them.

My solution was to move to Chicago. The difference is night and day. If I'm not really up for doing something big you can always pop in to your local pub/bar and people are generally friendly. Also, I met the neighbors pretty quickly just by living there.
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Old 08-23-2013, 10:00 AM
 
6,270 posts, read 10,003,407 times
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Really, this issue has more to do with the direction of our society as a whole. I mean, the OP is looking for social advice on a computer. Also, whatever happened to actually talking to folks on the phone? Today, people would rather text others while listening to music. Just yesterday at one of the YMCAs, I walked onto the basketball court in an attempt to start up a game with others. All 12 of the other guys were under 25, had music on their heads, were shooting around, and had ZERO interest in actually playing a game. It's not a Charlotte-only issue, because I see this in many other cities as well. Our society is losing its social skills every year it seems.

Now for some advice to the OP...

Instead of trying to find your peers; place yourself in a position for your peers to find you. While you're not at work, take some cheap classes at CPCC. For some folks, a school setting is all they know; so go back to school part time. Also, park your car and ride the bus sometimes. It sounds weird, but you'd be surprised at how often people meet each other on mass transit. The ability to meet folks in your car is greatly reduced to compare to the mass transit experience. Joining a local gym is also an option, but stay away from the music-listening-don't-wanna-playball crowd LOL.

The main thing is to find a routine and make your face familiar. It is a known fact that people are attracted to familiar faces more than they are to an unfamiliar face. So with that said, get off of the computer and get out there; make your face familiar with a group that is of interest to you. Also, don't try to rush the process. Become a familiar face first, then let the rest happen naturally. In other words, don't go out trying to exchange phone numbers with folks you just met. Give it a few weeks. Let them get familiar with seeing you and hanging out with you. By then, they'll be asking for your number and facebook page.

For what it's worth, if you're into shooting basketball I'd be glad to show you some of the spots where people play pickup games.. I'm married with kids and I'm in my early 30s, but I'm always up for meeting new wannabe-ballers like myself. If basketball isn't your thing, just find "your something". Basketball is mine, so I'm usually never bored. As others have stated, Charlotte is big enough for you to find your social family. Just figure out who you are (easier said than done) and physically place yourself in an area of town with several others with similar interests.
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
162 posts, read 179,872 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by urbancharlotte View Post
Really, this issue has more to do with the direction of our society as a whole. I mean, the OP is looking for social advice on a computer. Also, whatever happened to actually talking to folks on the phone? Today, people would rather text others while listening to music. Just yesterday at one of the YMCAs, I walked onto the basketball court in an attempt to start up a game with others. All 12 of the other guys were under 25, had music on their heads, were shooting around, and had ZERO interest in actually playing a game. It's not a Charlotte-only issue, because I see this in many other cities as well. Our society is losing its social skills every year it seems.
I will agree with you on the statement that social skills have been on the decline. However, there are cities that are extremely bad about it and there are others that are really good. Charlotte was on the bad end of it.
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Old 08-23-2013, 12:04 PM
 
2,820 posts, read 4,919,480 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monksy View Post
I will agree with you on the statement that social skills have been on the decline. However, there are cities that are extremely bad about it and there are others that are really good. Charlotte was on the bad end of it.
Agreed.
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Old 08-23-2013, 12:11 PM
 
3,455 posts, read 3,138,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monksy View Post
I will agree with you on the statement that social skills have been on the decline. However, there are cities that are extremely bad about it and there are others that are really good. Charlotte was on the bad end of it.
I am not sure why you constantly compare Charlotte to Chicago or any mid-size city southern metro to Chicago. They're different for obvious reasons but casually meeting and hooking up with people in the big city or any city comes with risk. It takes a while for any reasonable person to let down certain guards unless you are a new fool.

Charlotte is plenty big enough for any person to build a social circle over time. There are festivals, events, professional sports, music venues, etc etc like anywhere else to meet people. It's akin to being a successful person, put them anywhere in any city, they're more than likely to succeed. It really gets old blaming a city and these people all seem to have a noticeable trait. Constantly monitoring these threads like a hawk to chime-in and let us know how obviously bad their social skills are. ....seems they would be too busy having fun doing other things in that new special place.
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Old 08-23-2013, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Gods country
5,511 posts, read 4,319,596 times
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Take a ride to Asheville. It has a population of about 70,000 people and is more liberal than Charlotte. It does have a huge lesbian population, however I see a lot of people your age there. I have been in Charlotte since the beginning of July and I hate it. I am actually thinking of moving back to New York.
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