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Old 12-10-2007, 04:46 AM
19 posts, read 33,934 times
Reputation: 11


At the age of 26, Ive visited more then 23 states and countrys all over the world. Lived in 3 different countrys while growing up (those courtys being Spanish-English) and I met somone on the internet through a dating site. I tryed moving to Seattle from California-Things didnt work out. I have been talking to this guy for a year and we met in POrtland and been together dating for 5 months now. Things turned out more then just friends and because things didnt turn out the way I thought they would so that I could study in Seattle I thought it would be a great idea to move to NC when I can be accompanied by a friend while going to school and my life wouldnt be so lonley either. He has moved from his recent place to a new loft in the arts district (Charlotte) with plans of living with me. Planning on buying a car and even buying me the warmest jacket from North Face to go Camping and sight seeing with him. Total sweetheart! We get along like a finger to a fing, its awsome! but the only thing is that I dont want to move to North Carolina. I am an art student with a long reputation in the arts and could get into any well-known Art school as well as continue to succeed in what I do. My priorities now are my future goals of graduating with a BFA ( which are 2 more years to go) then get a degree in Art Therapy (2 more years) and work in the art industry while working hard towards my academic goals. I feel I am not in love with him but I love him for the person he is. I come from a very cultural background and he comes from a very educated family. We are the perfect mix. The thing is that I am not ready to give up my freedom and the best place in the world to express and evolve as a student. I am also in dought of my sexuality and would perfer a city like San Francisco, New York or Seattle, where I would feel more free to explore. He wants to have children the day of tomorrow or adopt and I want nothing to do with children or adopt. His mother has a graphic design company which I would be working for part time while I continue my education and his brother, as well as, his mom are working artist and art graduates. Everything sounds great! I would be living in a beautiful loft in the NoDa area with an awsome Friend/lover getting to know his family of artist and actually getting paid to learn design by helping his mother in her graphic design company, sounds great right!? And all I have in my head is..How the hell did I get myself into this. I mean I love the guy but I need a challenge and I feel art schools in NC arnt very savy. I dont want to get married nor plan my life right at the moment with him, and most definite have children of any sort. I somtimes feel as if thought i am being persuad to go with the flow since i dont have a sold groung at the moment and i want very much so to go to school. I also wanna live my life and continue to persue my goal as an artist and student. I'm going to visit him for christmas and all I'm thinking is how the hell will I tell him what I am feeling and after christmas say goodbye forever? Maybe I will like it in NC when I am with him but in the long run I feel I will have no future graduating from an art school in NC. this is my story in a nutshell. All your ideas really help Thanks for reading!!

Old 12-10-2007, 05:45 AM
Location: Wesley Chapel/Weddington, Union County, NC
125 posts, read 342,444 times
Reputation: 42
All I can saw is, wow, you have a LOT of decisions to make. Just relax and come to Charlotte with an open mind. Sounds like you have some great opportunities here so don't rule us out just yet. We are not a Seattle, New York or San Francisco though but I think you will find Charlotte as a pretty neat place.
Old 12-10-2007, 05:48 AM
755 posts, read 2,246,455 times
Reputation: 321
It sounds as though your issues go way beyond North Carolina. Don't try to build a life with someone based on maybes. If you really care about/love this guy then don't preclude him from finding true happiness with a woman who shares his wants re: marriage and family. And why would you put yourself through that? You'll only end up resenting him.

Any break-up is hard, but it sounds as though this relationship should end. You both need to get on with your own lives, rather than trying to fit square pegs in round holes.
Old 12-10-2007, 06:19 AM
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,212,814 times
Reputation: 22375
Default Have you considered?

Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) - have a son who graduated from SCAD - terrific degree, wonderful college, charming city and very supportive of the arts and students.

If you decide to come to Charlotte, you could see how you feel about SCAD . . . and see if you want to make plans to eventually go there.

Also, there are BFAs and MFAs available from universities here in NC, such as East Carolina, UNC-G, and AppState. I have not checked this out recently, so you will want to get online to make sure what programs are available . . . but I am pretty sure the ones I listed are current. I am not sure about art therapy, as the only program I had checked out was w/ KU, I believe, in Lawrence, KS.

The other decisions about your personal life are not going to be easy and you may find CLT is not for you. However, now may be the time to explore it. You may be surprised what artists are doing here.

Good luck!
Old 12-10-2007, 08:11 AM
4,222 posts, read 6,731,996 times
Reputation: 1560
Everyone thinks differently. Only you can make decisions. Any comment anyone makes is from an opinion of a person that is in a totally different situation. If you have doubts, I would stay where you are. Charlotte is nice but definately not Seattle or San Francisco. Besides, if you were in love and felt secure with your boyfriend, the choice would be easy. Aparently it isn't, so I would do more research on my own if I were you. Anotherwords, set your priorities.

Last edited by vindaloo; 12-10-2007 at 09:34 AM..
Old 12-10-2007, 09:41 AM
Location: Newton, MA
58 posts, read 164,976 times
Reputation: 17
Your post makes me think your hesitation is more about the direction your relationship is taking and that you are not feeling ready for 'all of that'. It sounds like you are still figuring out who you are and what you want from life. My advice is to take that time and if this relationship is meant to be in the long run then you will return to it when the time is right. Good luck and let us know how you are doing as you work it out.

Last edited by thecherif; 12-10-2007 at 09:42 AM.. Reason: typos
Old 12-10-2007, 10:22 AM
942 posts, read 1,068,477 times
Reputation: 224
I find when we hesitate about decisions it is because we are seeing little red flags on the horizon. I think that is what you are seeing, and I think little red flags can become real big flags when we decide to do something that doesn't feel completely right. It would probably be in your best interest to do some serious visiting to Charlotte and look before leaping both with the city, the area and the man in your life. If Charlotte just doesn't have that warm comfortable feeling we need in a place, it is most likely you will lose interest in your friend. Maybe you will end up liking Charlotte, but a visit of some substance is certainly needed in this case before moving there.
Old 12-10-2007, 12:16 PM
Location: Charlotte, NC
422 posts, read 1,217,699 times
Reputation: 240
Honey, location is not your problem...
Old 12-10-2007, 01:47 PM
Location: Wherever it is, I am sure it is cosmopolitan
674 posts, read 607,944 times
Reputation: 138
Dude, you people are better than me because heck if I could read through that whole thing, sheesh.
Old 12-10-2007, 02:14 PM
117 posts, read 409,475 times
Reputation: 36
stay where you are...i love it here for a lot of reasons but if i had the means and opportunity to be where you are i would be and it sounds like this guy wants a different life then you...so you should probably just be friends or...you could just say why not...life is about experiences so just try it for a year or two with the intention of making your permanent home back on the west coast....good luck!!
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