Keeping up with the Jones Syndrome (Charlotte, Monroe: debt, vacation, income)

[bibit612]

I live in a cul-de-sac of 17 homes...16 of them have last name Jones! We all take pride in our front yards. I have just spent the last 3 hours digging and planting perennials. I personally believe we have the most beautiful street in the community, but none of the people really are flashy/wealthy. I think the "keeping up with the Joneses" that exists here is really more a result of everyone having a new house that just screams to be decorated. Up north, all my neighbors have mature lawns and are not as much into lawn work and gardening. The most that's done is cutting the lawn. Down here, the neighbors just share tips on everything, how to cut down on water, where to buy plants, where is the thermostat located and what that does to utilities. We're all really just working class or retired...no flashy cars in this street anyway, no Ethan Allen furniture. We all shop Walmart or Target and the nice thing about it is we all TALK about doing it!

[anifani821]

Originally Posted by bibit612

I live in a cul-de-sac of 17 homes...16 of them have last name Jones! We all take pride in our front yards. I have just spent the last 3 hours digging and planting perennials. I personally believe we have the most beautiful street in the community, but none of the people really are flashy/wealthy. I think the "keeping up with the Joneses" that exists here is really more a result of everyone having a new house that just screams to be decorated. Up north, all my neighbors have mature lawns and are not as much into lawn work and gardening. The most that's done is cutting the lawn. Down here, the neighbors just share tips on everything, how to cut down on water, where to buy plants, where is the thermostat located and what that does to utilities. We're all really just working class or retired...no flashy cars in this street anyway, no Ethan Allen furniture. We all shop Walmart or Target and the nice thing about it is we all TALK about doing it!

Sounds like your street is one we would all like to live on, Bibit. You are blessed to have supportive neighbors - but then, I am sure they would say the same thing about you . . . that they are very fortunate to have you next door.

[bibit612]

Yes Ani...we're indeed fortunate on our 3rd move out of state to find this place. When we were in SoCal, people were obsessed with the zip code thing. Guess that just does not work in Charlotte! LOL! It's confusing enough with the town not really being where you live! In CT, it was more the town where you live, and then again, within the town, people were concerned about your location within that grid...east of this street, north of that, or which school your kids go to. Surprisingly, DD thought she would be moving to the sticks here in Fort Mill and was disappointed (more anxious really!) that she would "lose" her ability to visit Starbucks and Panera. To her (pleasant) surprise, kids her age were sporting Coach and Dooney purses (in 8th grade) daily to school to carry pencils, calculators and lip gloss! Even if she had procured her own Coach purse last year at the outlets in Williamsburg, she decided she was not going to keep up with that and opted to not carry it to school. I secretly beamed that she has a better head on her shoulders to know it does not really mean squat, and that whether she realized it or not, she's come down to terra firma and left her prep school mentality up north. How refreshing!!!!

[NCyank]

Originally Posted by anifani821

Well, I think a lot of the "display of wealth" we see around us is really a display of "credit," Hee Hee. Or maybe I should say . . . "debt."

Conspicuous consumerism is OUT. Think green, think recycling and think "re-purposing." The smart thing to do these days is figure out ways to share un-used items in a neighborhood. For example, do a kids' clothing exchange once a month. List un-used or unwanted items on a forum to exchange or sell at reasonable prices.

Instead of keeping up w/ the Joneses, how about we all start figuring out ways to cut our consumerism and make our dollars stretch.
.

Very true, I see this a lot. People with no money but plenty of credit bragging about their latest this or that. Frankly, I am not impressed if you bought something you can not really afford in the first place...go brag somewhere else.

Where I grew up we did not discuss finances so openly...at least not to the point of walking up to someone and saying "That is such a cute bag/shoes/whatever...how much did you pay for it?" My usual answer is 'The price was just right.'

And I agree with you Ani that I am much more impressed with an attempt to reuse/re-purpose/refinish an item than with dropping it by the side of the road for trash pick-up and buying a new one. Wanna come sit on my front porch and rock a while? We can watch the hummingbirds, I got both of the rocking chairs out of someone's trash....like new.
While I have no desire to keep up with the Jones, I am happy to salvage their goods from yard sales and trash piles. As long as they keep buying to excess and being so wasteful a handful of the rest of us are doing nicely on their throw aways.

Originally Posted by BallantyneBaby

People are free to choose their own lifestyles - thats what makes this country great.

Usually the ones complaining are the ones that can't afford to compete. LOL

Ha. You would be surprised at the number of people who can 'afford to compete' but have better things to do with their time or money. I don't complain about anyone's lifestyle until they bring it up, air it out over dinner or casual conversation. Just don't sit here telling me how much you paid for 'stuff' and then complain about your Visa bill or rising gas prices. I don't want to hear that your kid is on his/her 4th ipod and then that you and your spouse argue about making ends meet. So, for all the Jones out there...if you don't want people commenting on your business....please keep it to yourselves.

Maybe it is just me....but that is a competition I choose to stay out of.

[Huckleberry3911948]

if you wana see some expensive cars, 40k plus, go with me to the laundrymat here.
expensive but poorly maintained.

[vanyali]

Originally Posted by anifani821

SSTARRX3: do you mind if we play w/ the thread some more?

I would like to see what people think is an excess display or things that go on in their neighborhoods (or kids' schools) that put pressure on others to keep up.

I think it would be enlightening to hear what goes on and makes people feel there is so much emphasis put on "status" purchases or displays of wealth (whether plastic or real).

So can you all list things that would fall in that category? Like - luxury autos? Or is it something else - like designer clothing? Or jewelry? Expensive golf clubs?

I would like to know what Mr. and Mrs. Jones are doing.

OK, try this:

One of the neighbors in my 'hood yesterday seemed to be throwing a kid's birthday party, which is fine . . . with blow-up moon-bounce type things in the yard, etc. Which is fine too, I guess.

What I really objected to, though, was them somehow getting the city (?) to CLOSE OFF COLVILLE ROAD on the block that their house is on. That was going way too far. That was just a gratuitous display of power, and I thought it was really awful.

On a related note, I want to support the people who've noticed "zip code envy" in Charlotte. I don't know about other parts of Charlotte, but let me tell you, zip code envy is alive and well in South Charlotte. I'm a transplant who accidentally bought into "too nice" a zip code, and it's been a social handicap. Whenever I meet anyone in Charlotte, the first thing they want to know is where I live. If I tell them, they get jealous and stop talking to me. If I say something vague to get out of telling them ("oh, up the street that way a bit") they get suspicious and wonder why I'm not telling them where I live, and then stop talking to me. It's ridiculous. Why does anyone care where I live?

I notice this a lot more among native Charlotteans rather than transplants. A transplant doesn't really know the difference between Myers Park and Eastover and Dilworth, for example, but to a native, the neighborhoods are worlds apart for some reason. None of it makes any sense to me.
I am so happy to be moving away. Now, if someone would just come along to buy my house. . . .

[Doorway]

Originally Posted by vanyali

OK, try this:

One of the neighbors in my 'hood yesterday seemed to be throwing a kid's birthday party, which is fine . . . with blow-up moon-bounce type things in the yard, etc. Which is fine too, I guess.

What I really objected to, though, was them somehow getting the city (?) to CLOSE OFF COLVILLE ROAD on the block that their house is on. That was going way too far. That was just a gratuitous display of power, and I thought it was really awful.

On a related note, I want to support the people who've noticed "zip code envy" in Charlotte. I don't know about other parts of Charlotte, but let me tell you, zip code envy is alive and well in South Charlotte. I'm a transplant who accidentally bought into "too nice" a zip code, and it's been a social handicap. Whenever I meet anyone in Charlotte, the first thing they want to know is where I live. If I tell them, they get jealous and stop talking to me. If I say something vague to get out of telling them ("oh, up the street that way a bit") they get suspicious and wonder why I'm not telling them where I live, and then stop talking to me. It's ridiculous. Why does anyone care where I live?

I notice this a lot more among native Charlotteans rather than transplants. A transplant doesn't really know the difference between Myers Park and Eastover and Dilworth, for example, but to a native, the neighborhoods are worlds apart for some reason. None of it makes any sense to me.
I am so happy to be moving away. Now, if someone would just come along to buy my house. . . .

That's interesting. Did you have that problem in Maryland? Did you live in an "affluent "area there as well? Just curious.........

[ruiner]

I hate to be the one to say it (and sorry if it was mentioned earlier), but why don't you all stop worrying about what other people are doing with their money and mind your own business. Kinda ironic given the way this thread has played out.

It is telling the only people who talk about "keeping up with the Jones" are always talking about other people who do it. Sometimes people just like nice cars, or nice houses, or a private block party.

[NCyank]

We have similar experiences to vanyali.

We also got asked a lot 'Where do you live?' We are in a nicer area of Union County and people made a lot of assumptions based on the town. 'How big is your house?' 'How much did you pay?' 'Oh, you must earn a lot of money to live there.' These were common responses when we answered the question. We also stopped saying where we live so people could get to know 'us' not attached to a zip code. People ask where I shop. Well, for a lot of things I go to Monroe because that is where DH works and we can meet up for lunch while I run errands. People have asked "Why would you want to go to Monroe when you can go to 'fancy pants shopping center'? It's soooo much nicer." with a scowling look on their faces. Some people I have met have lived here 10+ years and have never been to Monroe...it is not the place to be seen apparently. LOL

When we bought our house we spent the first few weeks doing some much needed updating. Our neighbors dropped by to welcome us to the neighborhood. We were dirty and wearing ratty clothes from working all day. We got to talking about local eateries and we mentioned having scarfed down a pizza at the local pizza joint...perfect for a quick meal in the middle of a small remodel. It was not gourmet but it was fine by us. Well, they made some faces and politely suggested that when we got ourselves cleaned up there were some 'decent' pizza places they would suggest instead...when we weren't so desperate for a meal. Well, I may be a Yank but that is RUDE no matter where you are from.

That being said, we are very happy here overall, I didn't intend to rant, merely to share some of our experiences. We have lived in the south for most of our married years and wouldn't have it any other way. But, most of the Southern people in towns we have lived previous to Charlotte have not been so concerned about where we live, how much we paid for goods and services, asking us outright about our finances or volunteering detailed information about theirs. I have not experienced such 'neighborhood' envy, or putting on airs previously and it was all a bit of a shock to find it here to this extent.

We are still in the South...right??

[berryjuice4life]

Originally Posted by vanyali

OK, try this:

One of the neighbors in my 'hood yesterday seemed to be throwing a kid's birthday party, which is fine . . . with blow-up moon-bounce type things in the yard, etc. Which is fine too, I guess.

What I really objected to, though, was them somehow getting the city (?) to CLOSE OFF COLVILLE ROAD on the block that their house is on. That was going way too far. That was just a gratuitous display of power, and I thought it was really awful.

On a related note, I want to support the people who've noticed "zip code envy" in Charlotte. I don't know about other parts of Charlotte, but let me tell you, zip code envy is alive and well in South Charlotte. I'm a transplant who accidentally bought into "too nice" a zip code, and it's been a social handicap. Whenever I meet anyone in Charlotte, the first thing they want to know is where I live. If I tell them, they get jealous and stop talking to me. If I say something vague to get out of telling them ("oh, up the street that way a bit") they get suspicious and wonder why I'm not telling them where I live, and then stop talking to me. It's ridiculous. Why does anyone care where I live?

I notice this a lot more among native Charlotteans rather than transplants. A transplant doesn't really know the difference between Myers Park and Eastover and Dilworth, for example, but to a native, the neighborhoods are worlds apart for some reason. None of it makes any sense to me.
I am so happy to be moving away. Now, if someone would just come along to buy my house. . . .

I so LOVE this post because it is SOO TRUE giving you rep points for this one...you sumed it up so much better than most...

and let me add I love NCYank's as well...we love it in Union County regardless, however I thought Id never see the day it was just like back up North...