Charlotte or Raleigh for my situation? (Chapel Hill, Matthews: middle-class, transplants, real estate)

[Chalice]

Hello, everyone!

I will be relocating to North Carolina this summer, and I have a choice between Raleigh and Charlotte.

The thing is, I am coming from New York, and I am in an interracial marriage with me being black and my husband Italian.

I’m a bit nervous about how it will be accepted, and would like an honest opinion on which would be the better city to move to considering my circumstances.

[nate11000]

Charlotte and Raleigh are two very different cities. I was born in Charlotte, lived in Raleigh most of my life, and am moving back to Charlotte next month.

In general, Raleigh is an 'older' city, with a more middle-aged population, and a little more history and culture than Charlotte. Downtown sucks, and the nightlife is mediocre, but not nonexistent (there are a few fun places and many excellent restaurants). Traffic is bad, but not awful. I commute to both RTP and Chapel Hill every day (18 and 30 miles, respectively), and my commute only stretches beyond 50 minutes on very rare bad days.

Charlotte is a much younger city, both in terms of the age of most buildings and the average age of the general population. It's clean and active, with a few more "things to do" in general (sports teams, museums, nice bars and restaurants). Most people are transplants from up north or other areas of the state. It has been accused of being a yuppie banker's town, and this is at least partially true. Your dollar will go a bit further in Charlotte, also - particularly in real estate. Traffic also is worse, although I can't quantify how much worse.

Basically, neither one is extremely "traditional southern," although Raleigh is more so than Charlotte. I can't see an interracial relationship being a problem in either city, as both have diverse populations with high percentages of minorities. However, if I had to pick one being more accepting than the other, I'd say Charlotte, for the simple fact that there are more New Yorkers and the like around. For the record, I'm a white guy married to a white girl, but we do know 2 interracial couples, and neither has complained about any backlash (other than family).

Personally, I prefer Charlotte. They are two very different cities, though, so you'll need to evaluate what's most important and decide for yourself. Good luck!

[Chalice]

Thank you so much for your insightful response. It's given my husband and me much more to consider now towards making our final decision. I can't thank you enough!!

[mmdj43]

Originally Posted by Chalice

Thank you so much for your insightful response. It's given my husband and me much more to consider now towards making our final decision. I can't thank you enough!!

So what part of New York are you from? My family and I live on Long Island. I don't believe you should have a problem either. I am Italian and my husband is Hispanic with much darker skin and the number of times we were visiting we didn't have a problem. We're moving to Matthews which is just outside the Charlotte area.

Well, good luck to you in your move. Word of advice....visit both areas for a few days before making your decision. This way, you have something to compare to. Good Luck!

[Chalice]

I'm from Long Island, actually, and I love the diversity here.
I know that people will be people wherever you go, but weighing the pros and cons of what I like/dislike, we've decided on Raleigh.

[backfist]

Originally Posted by Chalice

Hello, everyone!

I will be relocating to North Carolina this summer, and I have a choice between Raleigh and Charlotte.

The thing is, I am coming from New York, and I am in an interracial marriage with me being black and my husband Italian.

I’m a bit nervous about how it will be accepted, and would like an honest opinion on which would be the better city to move to considering my circumstances.

Chalice~

We're also weighing Charlotte (as well as suburban Atlanta). We're also an interracial family and, as such, place a premium on diversity as well as cost of living and education.

We've looked into Charlotte and think that it's definitely do-able. We'd prefer the suburbs, but once you leave Charlotte, the diversity in the surrounding suburbs decreases dramatically. For most, that's not really a problem. But for us, it's something that has to be taken into account when making a life decision like this.

You didn't mention children, so I'll assume that it's not relevant. At the same time, the school dynamics are worth noting. Specifically, some of the suburbs are wanting to secede from Charlotte. The reasoning ranges from parental choice to fear of "gangs". At the same time, of the top advanced placement 100 high schools in the country, the ones located in North Carolina were primarily in Charlotte. In any event, there are some interesting dynamics at play.

Having never spent any serious amount of time in North Carolina, I don't know what to expect in terms of how we will be received. And this is why we're also considering suburban Atlanta. Diversity there is just a matter of fact. Whereas in suburban Charlotte, it's kind of a wildcard. As such, we might have to be on guard (and goodness knows, we're tired of that).

But I suppose, the more of us who choose to make Charlotte home, the less of a concern this will be. Best of luck.

[JAS]

Pick any large city in NC, and I doubt it would be a big deal. This isn't the 1930's South any more - I doubt that you would have any problem in any of the large metro areas of NC.

[a1m1700]

Originally Posted by mmdj43

So what part of New York are you from? My family and I live on Long Island. I don't believe you should have a problem either. I am Italian and my husband is Hispanic with much darker skin and the number of times we were visiting we didn't have a problem. We're moving to Matthews which is just outside the Charlotte area.

Well, good luck to you in your move. Word of advice....visit both areas for a few days before making your decision. This way, you have something to compare to. Good Luck!

Same here I'm Italian and my husband Cuban. I never thought once about what people would think, maybe he has though.

[Washingtonian]

I'm an African American woman. I have worried about the issue in Charlotte. Specifically, I'm concerned about diversity as it relates to my child. It seems that some of the neighborhoods are unofficially segregated. I want my child to be in a diverse neighborhood and diverse school. She's very smart so I want the best for her just as everyone else but I want to her to continue to be accepting and grow up with the diversity we are familiar with from the MD suburbs.

I'm very accepting of all cultures. I would welcome you here along with anyone else. I wouldn't base my decision on your race but whether you and your husband are good people.

After saying all that. Now that I'm single again. Does your husband have a brother?

[backfist]

We have the same concerns, Washingtonian. Our kids are bi-racial, loving, extremely bright and gifted, yet very impressionable. The last thing that we want to do is introduce them to a neighborhood/community where they/we need to prove ourselves worthy of living within the suburb we choose.

We're really struggling with moving to the Charlotte suburbs because we feel that it's important for our kids to know that there are other kids of color who are also bright, intellectual, well-behaved and responsible (I mean as much as any kid can be). But when they're routinely in the extreme minority, it's too easy to see themselves in the same light as other parents and kids do: "the kids who everyone's trying to get away from". Our kids end up having to prove themselves in ways that others don't.

I'm sure this sounds foreign to a lot of folks. And to them I just say that they've been blessed for not having to deal with it. At the same time, the more we ignore it, the worse it'll get.

In light of all that, we're considering a Charlotte suburb that has enough of a middle-class Black population that we don't have to feel isolated or self-conscious.