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Old 06-09-2008, 02:37 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,165,475 times
Reputation: 22373

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I think that sometimes, people have unrealistic expectations when they move to a new place (anywhere, not just CLT). I also think that where you are living w/in a region can mean a huge difference as to how much you like - or dislike - the whole area. Plus, some people are just less adaptable and miss their friends, family and "old" neighborhood.

I prefer to "make the best" of any situation I am in. We moved six times - different towns - by the time I was 12, due to my dad being in college, then graduate school, then getting transferred . . . and so . . . I was STUCK. Leaving friends was awful, leaving my classrooms was awful . . . but I managed to figure out by the time I was 7 that no matter where I lived, it was up to me to reach out, find the good stuff and look over the negative things. I carried that lesson on in my life . . . best to make chicken salad out of chicken droppings . . . and find a way to enjoy where you are. You can't "retrieve" lost days feeling unhappy about where you live . . . all we have is today . . . I don't want to waste one day feeling angry, disappointed or sad about where I live. Just makes more sense to jump in and figure out how to make it better. Sometimes, finding a new friend (or a better neighborhood) is all it takes to make the world seem like a much nicer place.

Last edited by brokensky; 06-09-2008 at 02:38 PM.. Reason: typo
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Old 06-09-2008, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
1,808 posts, read 5,868,979 times
Reputation: 748
That may be true, LoveBoating, but I do honestly think that your attitude greatly influences your experience. If you have a negative attitude, it is likely that you are going to miss out on the positives of where you happen to be.

I'm not happy all the time, that's just not realistic. But I think that having a good attitude makes life easier. And I'm less apt to complain to people I just met about things I don't like about a given situation. That's what my DH is for - LOL.

And if I was the native in question, I would find it insulting that a newcomer would have so many negative things to say. Constructive criticism is fine, but heaping a lot of negatives on someone you just met doesn't serve much of a purpose either, with the exception of letting out a good vent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Don't know what being "miserable" has got to do with being honest. The lady was just expressing her and her husbands feelings about being here.
People aren't going to be HAPPY all the time!!
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Old 06-09-2008, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Living near our Nation's Capitol since 2010
2,177 posts, read 2,916,070 times
Reputation: 5851
Like many of you, I am a transplant here too (as of November 2007). Before I arrived here I did my homework. I looked at many aspects of life here: housing, safety, climate, culture, health care, the weather, the economy and cost of living, and proximity to fun places to visit, etc. As a single woman, I had to look at those things really really carefully. I don't have to worry about schools but I do have to worry about other things that influence the quality of my life here.

No, Charlotte is NOT perfect...what place is?...but it sure beats where I came from! I moved here from the crime ridden, drug infested, tax-you-to-death city of Baltimore and believe me when I say, THIS IS BETTER (well, for ME it sure is!)

I truly feel sorry for families who moved here for job opportunities for the primary breadwinner of the family... and then their spouse and kids left heel marks all the way from where they were dragged, kicking and screaming, and hate it here. However, if I could give them any advice at all it would be to give this area the benefit of the doubt and TRY to find things you enjoy.

Life is too short to be so miserable. I wish all peace who are here against their wishes.
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Old 06-09-2008, 02:49 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,165,475 times
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As a native, I don't get insulted when people complain but I do ask - did you come here by choice; and what have you done to get to know the area better . . .

I have had the misfortune of ending up in places I did not want to be. It is very jolting when it happens! However, all a person can do is make the best of it. When I see a disgruntled mom . . . and hear her discussing how lousy the area is (especially in front of her children) . . . I gotta wonder . . . does she not realize she is passing all this negativity on to her children? How can they learn to adapt and how can they possibly get settled in a new area - and feel good about it - w/ constant reminders or how lousy it is in their new home? There is a lot to be said for being the "leader" in the family - and showing some grace under pressure . . . and teaching your children that life is what you make it.
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Old 06-09-2008, 02:59 PM
 
1,350 posts, read 3,310,262 times
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I think I vent my frustrations on here so not to bother my family and friends. They all fell so terrible about us leaving I don't want to make things worse for them. I try to keep a happy face for the kids. I try not to complain to my DH, he feels bad enough about having us leave our home, friends and family. And I don't dare tell my family because they are so sad and angry we are leaving. So you all are the lucky ones who get to hear my concerns and complaints. SORRY!!
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Fort Mill, SC (Charlotte 'burb)
4,730 posts, read 17,789,217 times
Reputation: 1008
Cuz I couldn't get a job in WNY let alone a good one.
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Drury Lane
822 posts, read 2,544,727 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newcharlottan View Post
I was sitting at a play area today and was sitting near two other ladies. We all chitchatted a bit about the weather etc. One (Ann) asked if us other ladies were new to Charlotte? I nodded yes and the other (Betty)said she was a native.

I went on to say that it was a bit difficult in the beginning with the job market but now I am really content living here. Ann said her husband hated his job and he is getting paid alot less than his previous salary.

Betty changed the subject and asked what school my kid was in. I told her and said that I was really happy with the school and how much my kid loved it. Ann said that the schools were so much better where she was from and she is looking into private for her kid and hopes she can find one that is at least similar to their previous public school.

Uh okay, I desperately tried to change the subject yet again and no matter what I said or Betty said about Charlotte, her previous city was so much better.

At one point, Betty said pointedly, "Why did you come here then?"

Ann huffed and left.

I mean really? All these things are easily researchable and her husband already had the job before they came so they knew about the salary change. If they are that miserable, and it was that great, why did they come? Oh and it wasn't a house, they had been here a year and just found and bought a "resale" house.

I had to smile though, I have been here for almost two years and feel like a mama bear about Charlotte. :-)

Have you run into this?
All the time.
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Drury Lane
822 posts, read 2,544,727 times
Reputation: 249
Quote:
Originally Posted by njmdpanc View Post
You picked NY/Nj for what reason?
I know a lot of Charlotte native who do an awful lot of complaining!
What do they complain about? All the transplants and their complaining? Round and round we go.
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:13 PM
 
330 posts, read 933,930 times
Reputation: 304
Someone's gonna get mad at me for this one

Complaining is a major pastime for folks who come from where I grew up. In fact, I think it is safe to say that without complaining, nobody in my old neighborhood would have ever talked. Of course, when they move here, they bring that with them.

Best thing to do is to tell them that Arthur Ave. bread is not as good as the bread you get at Harris Teeter and watch as their heads explode. It's fun. Try it.
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:24 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,165,475 times
Reputation: 22373
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAMF View Post
Someone's gonna get mad at me for this one

Complaining is a major pastime for folks who come from where I grew up. In fact, I think it is safe to say that without complaining, nobody in my old neighborhood would have ever talked. Of course, when they move here, they bring that with them.

Best thing to do is to tell them that Arthur Ave. bread is not as good as the bread you get at Harris Teeter and watch as their heads explode. It's fun. Try it.
ROFLMAO!!!! OMGosh - you so got it, LAMF. I believe the yiddish term is "kvetching" and yes, it is an artform in certain areas of the country!!!! My NJ and PA relatives would sit around and kvetch all the time. I mean - complain and compare and disparage WHERE THEY LIVED - yet they would fight you if you suggested the Philly Cheesesteaks sucked (or their union sucked, for that matter, hee hee hee).

I do soooooo know what you mean, but had not thought about that in years!!!!! As a kid, I used to sit and hear the adults going on and on (when we would visit) and all I could think is - if it is so rotten here, why don't you leave???? They would be fussing about pro sports, the weather, their garbage pick up - WHATEVER!!!!!!!!

Last edited by brokensky; 06-09-2008 at 03:24 PM.. Reason: typo
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