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Old 06-12-2008, 02:50 PM
 
Location: https://t.me/pump_upp
250 posts, read 525,366 times
Reputation: 253

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I can respond from PAST moves, and the key is how much you left behind. Older people, meaning people who have seen a lot of family pass away, aren't typically leaving as much behind as younger people. I could move this weekend and not miss a beat, but this where the differences in people comes into it.

I am a loner. I have like 4 people I REALLY call friends, and I correspond with them mainly by email as it is. It doesn't matter where that email comes from. One of the reasons I am looking to make a change is to MAKE me get out and see new things, hopefully in a city where people can go out at night without being shot at and not worry about their car being gone when they get out of the restaurant. As far as making friends and needing friends, I am simply not in that camp. Introverts just are not that way. I could really go forever without having a group of people around me. It doesn't make me feel comfortable, needed, wanted, loved.... in fact, being a strong introvert, it makes me nervous and saps my energy. I was marred for 5 years to a woman who was as extroverted as I was introverted. Trust me, opposites DO NOT attract. There were people in our house ALL the time, and I hated it. There is too much you can do alone to spend your life worrying about "meeting".

(PS - Disclaimer - None of the above is in any way relevant to the opportunities of meeting attractive, single women.... LOL!!!)

In my case all I have here in Ohio is one sister with whom I do not speak anyway, friends who only call me when they want something, and a job that is rather portable, so there is nothing keeping me from moving. I would have to come back one weekend every November to play my band's huge annual reunion show, but it's either a 400 mile drive or a 2 hour plane ride.

Homesickness is something YOU can create or overcome. With email, Skype, digital cameras, instant messaging with photo sharing..... plus when you move you have a built in excuse to have people visit you.
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Old 06-12-2008, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
452 posts, read 1,340,069 times
Reputation: 140
Well I've been here about a month...Im getting to know charlotte that ive lost sence of my old city. As far as friends, friends come along when your not thinking of finding one..If you strive so much to find one you wont find the right friend. Mostly a hang out buddy. For some people hang out buddies are just HANG OUT buddies. In Miami I had about 2million friends. I had 2 True Friends. One of them is looking to relocate to charlotte as well.
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Ayrsley
4,713 posts, read 9,655,325 times
Reputation: 3824
Quote:
Originally Posted by ctribucher View Post
I'm in! I volunteer to be the tour guide through Old Town Alexandria!!!
Is that where you're from? I grew up in Alexandria.
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
1,808 posts, read 6,468,592 times
Reputation: 753
No, I'm not originally from Alexandria but I lived there for 10 years.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tober138 View Post
Is that where you're from? I grew up in Alexandria.
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:05 PM
 
1,350 posts, read 3,762,459 times
Reputation: 422
I haven't even moved to NC yet and I am already home sick. I know when I lived in SC many, many years ago, I lived there for 4 years. The first 6 months I cried everyday all day. After 6 months we went back home for a visit and I could not wait to go back to SC. When it came time to move back home after DH got out of the Navy I went kicking and screaming. Things were different then, mostly because we didn't have kids. I'm hoping the same thing will happen here once we are settled into our new home. Good luck.
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:07 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,077,446 times
Reputation: 22750
Quote:
Originally Posted by trishlee View Post
I have been here almost 6 months and I am still so homesick I could scream. And I do almost every day. I have tried all I know how to meet people but when your kids are older, and when you haven't found a job, it is really hard to do. I too, wanted to move here and was in agreement with my husband's decision. He had a job waiting for him. And really all he (and maybe most men) need is their job and spouse. I need more. I need friends!!! Anifan, you really articulating it all well. Where do you live? You sound like you would be a great friend.
I am in S. CLT!! I am serious - let's do lunch. Ya'll wanna do a Girls Lunch Out??? I am up for it!!!

You are sooooo right. Women need other women - studies show this is a very real need. We are able to keep a better equilibrium in our lives when we have other female friends. We bolster, we kvetch, we laugh, and we empathize. Plus, women share knowledge, whether it is about raising kids or how to best clean your windows, LOL!!
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
452 posts, read 1,340,069 times
Reputation: 140
So what do men do?
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:21 PM
 
1,350 posts, read 3,762,459 times
Reputation: 422
[quote=anifani821;4082166]I am in S. CLT!! I am serious - let's do lunch. Ya'll wanna do a Girls Lunch Out??? I am up for it!!!

Wait for me
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
1,808 posts, read 6,468,592 times
Reputation: 753
I would be up for a South Charlotte Girls Lunch Out (GLO - love it!), especially since I keep missing the evening ladies night out events.

To the OP, one piece of advice that I'm sure many of the posters on this board will tell you is to try and relax and give things time. When I first moved to Charlotte, I also worked from home. When I got into the office, it was nice having real people to talk to during the day!

Other ways to get out and meet people are to check out sites like meetup.com. You can also check into volunteering - I'm in the screening process right now to volunteer at the animal shelter (hopefully I will pass!).

"Rolling with it" is also good advice. It has helped me whenever I moved domestically, as well as a stint I had as a young girl living in Bolivia (the country, not the town near NC's coast!).
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:28 PM
 
Location: NE Charlotte, NC (University City)
1,894 posts, read 6,434,682 times
Reputation: 1049
My wife and I planned our move to a "T" when we left Orlando last summer. Jobs lined up, rental house, utility hook ups, vehicle registrations, yadda yadda yadda. The whole 9 yards. Come to find out, that last 1 yard of the 10 is the friends and family thing. You just can't plan it or really do much at all to make it happen...which drives me up the wall as an engineer! I need an equation...a chart...a table...something to tell me what's going to happen!

I've done ok with the friends and socializing thing since I have a "tangible" job where I go to an office and interact every day. My wife on the other hand works from home and has nowhere near the interaction I have with other people, so it's been tough for her. We've bounced around a few different churches trying to find a place to call "our church" and haven't really met true "friends" there yet. I've certainly fallen in with some folks at work that I would classify somewhere between an acquiatence and a friend...but still, not a full-fledged "friend" yet.

As Luis said, this friend thing happens when you're not trying or when you don't expect it. Otherwise, it's forced and can be awkward or too fake...as I've kind of experienced in my desire to make friends. I've found myself telling co-workers about our adventure to find friends and how we'd like to meet people...almost trying to coax them into wanting to hang out and do something. When I catch myself, I back off, because that's not the enviornment I want to make a friend in.

Just recently, we've bought a house here in Charlotte after renting for nearly a year. Immediately, we became nearly friends with some of the neighbors...something I doubt you'll get as a renter (we didn't) due to a number of reasons...unfortunately, due largely to the "those are the renters, stay away from them" syndrome people get. I guess what I'm saying with this paragraph is that getting into a house of your own will help...it adds a sense of being permanent to you and others...but it's absolutely not something to rush into. Renting is definitely the way to go until you figure out the area...

We're caught int eh same place as you...not into the club/bar thing and at the verge of starting a family, and I'll add to this that we're out of college and any sort of schooling...so we're left to our jobs, church (if you go), and any other random activity we might do to make friends. Not very easy...but I'm confident it will happen. Heck, just look at this forum...meet ups and offers to have lunch all over the place! A new way to make friends for the users!

I'm not sure I really answered anything directly here in this post, but I hope I made it a little bit easier to deal with knowing you're certainly not alone in this! If you get here and find yourself coming up blank with friends, drop me a Direct Message. Maybe this is a channel to make it happen!
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