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Old 08-31-2008, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Union County
529 posts, read 1,801,314 times
Reputation: 165

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Inform the school (teacher/administration) then let due process take its course. Remember, you are dealing with children and no matter what you ask about the other kid or his parents.. you will never find out because of privacy laws. Just like if another parent demanded to know who you are and your child's information. Stay in touch with your child's teacher. Ask you son to write down everything that has taken place between the two and any information he has shared with adults in the class. Make sure they are not on the same bus, if so request a different seat location if they are near. If the problem persists, you could request a change of teacher. You can contact the police if you wanted, but in cases like this the police refers you back to the school. Keep us informed as you go.
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Old 09-01-2008, 06:34 AM
 
Location: Way up high
14,115 posts, read 20,818,955 times
Reputation: 14390
This is exactly why I don't have kids. Because with my temper and no holds bar mouth, I'd probably be sitting in jail.

However, with that being said. You need to approach the teacher and principal ASAP and demand that you want a parents teacher principal meeting ASAP. More than likely, this won't happen because lack of other parents attending. This is not just childs play. There is something very seriously wrong here and obviously its being taught at home. No normal 9 year old talks like that without being brought up around that environment. Please keep us posted.
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Old 09-01-2008, 07:41 AM
 
4,222 posts, read 6,710,137 times
Reputation: 1560
In all cases that justify pressing criminal charges as this one, do so. I don't care what the "warm fuzzy" student counsellor says, this kid is a threat to society and should not be with descent children.
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Old 09-01-2008, 08:22 AM
 
1,907 posts, read 4,446,290 times
Reputation: 730
Quote:
Originally Posted by bandibadji View Post
In all cases that justify pressing criminal charges as this one, do so. I don't care what the "warm fuzzy" student counsellor says, this kid is a threat to society and should not be with descent children.

I keep trying to rep you, but I guess everyone beat me to it. I agree that the "bad seeds" need help, but the classroom is no place for it.
It sounds like you are an incredible guy and I'm sure there are parents out there who really appreciate what you have done for thier kids. I hope you are still working with children in some capacity?
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Old 09-01-2008, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
533 posts, read 1,637,674 times
Reputation: 247
Quote:
Originally Posted by bandibadji View Post
In all cases that justify pressing criminal charges as this one, do so. I don't care what the "warm fuzzy" student counsellor says, this kid is a threat to society and should not be with descent children.
perhaps she can try TALKING TO THE TEACHER FIRST. as a former teacher bandi (again, so glad that you are no longer in the classroom), didn't you hope that parents would first come to you when there was a problem rather than jumping to pressing charges without informing you or the school of the problem???

the OP came for advice, she got some great advice from me and other members, and she can take it step by step. pressing charges is NOT the first step. sigh. i am done with this one.

good luck to the OP! hopefully you can find resolution to this issue quickly and your son can feel happy and safe at school.
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Old 09-01-2008, 09:18 AM
 
133 posts, read 287,903 times
Reputation: 110
To the OP, impressionist:

I agree with most of the other posters. You must do what you feel is right. I would go to the teacher, AND principal since this is such a serious situation. Let those mama tiger claws come out if need be!

I had an incident that happened to my 5 year old daughter last year. She was not threatened by another child, but it was just as bad.

I had a discussion with the teacher. It was immediately handled. It did not occur again. But if it had, then I would have went to the principal's personal home and camped out in their front yard if necessary until I got a proper resolution. (I, too, had visions of me sitting in jail along with my husband, mother, dad, mother-in-law, and father-in-law!!)

Fortunately, this child was not in the same class with her again this new school year. If he had been, I would have insisted that he be moved to another class. And this is the only child and in my opinion, I feel as if he is treated as a "golden child."
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Old 09-01-2008, 10:08 AM
 
2,341 posts, read 4,045,530 times
Reputation: 1667
Quote:
Originally Posted by bandibadji View Post
You should know that there are those that do not change as there is no parental support or environment encouragement. I am a teacher and not a miracle worker. I gave all students 100 percent all the time. .... to that ideal wealthy high income area school where parents get involved. In that case, you will never really know. Anyway, good luck wherever you go.

Two Notes:
1) Moderator cut: tos violation

2) Wealthy, high income parents are not the only people that care about their kids and their kids education.

What every happened to good old fashioned adult/kid interaction. Rather than label a child a psychopath, how about talking to Johnny and counseling him about his behavior. A plain old, what you did was wrong and how would you feel if someone treated you this way? You know... the old fashioned talking too most of us received from some adut when we were kids and acting out inappropriately.

Also, kids can be mean. I've seen kids excluded from the play group because they didnt have the correct type of lunch box or tennis shoes. I would not be s quick to call this a hate crime in the making. How about using it as a teaching opportunity.

Last edited by SunnyKayak; 09-01-2008 at 10:41 AM..
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:59 PM
 
4,222 posts, read 6,710,137 times
Reputation: 1560
Quote:
Originally Posted by lacey3eb View Post
perhaps she can try TALKING TO THE TEACHER FIRST. as a former teacher bandi (again, so glad that you are no longer in the classroom), didn't you hope that parents would first come to you when there was a problem rather than jumping to pressing charges without informing you or the school of the problem???

the OP came for advice, she got some great advice from me and other members, and she can take it step by step. pressing charges is NOT the first step. sigh. i am done with this one.

good luck to the OP! hopefully you can find resolution to this issue quickly and your son can feel happy and safe at school.
As I mentioned in an earlier posting, there are parents that do not respond or care about what their child does. The point that I was trying to make was that pressing charges will initiate documentation of the "criminal" act and force the student and the parent to become involved in an anger management, race relations seminar or a parenting seminar for the parent. Lets face it, if this child is a serious threat, there are time limits, consultations, observations and all sorts of red tape that must be accomplished prior to any meaningful response. By the time all the bureaucratic crap is adhered to, the kid could cause harm to someone innocent. As a counselor, you should have understood that I was talking about students that have parents that will not get involved. For what it is worth, I have a masters degree in phychology and a Phd in education management.
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Old 09-01-2008, 01:22 PM
 
4,222 posts, read 6,710,137 times
Reputation: 1560
Quote:
Originally Posted by baybook View Post
Two Notes:
1) Moderator cut: tos violation

2) Wealthy, high income parents are not the only people that care about their kids and their kids education.

What every happened to good old fashioned adult/kid interaction. Rather than label a child a psychopath, how about talking to Johnny and counseling him about his behavior. A plain old, what you did was wrong and how would you feel if someone treated you this way? You know... the old fashioned talking too most of us received from some adut when we were kids and acting out inappropriately.

Also, kids can be mean. I've seen kids excluded from the play group because they didnt have the correct type of lunch box or tennis shoes. I would not be s quick to call this a hate crime in the making. How about using it as a teaching opportunity.
First, I did not say that say that wealthy parents were the only ones that care about their children. I was trying to get across that if the counsellor doesn't experience a job in the inner-city where there is diversity, poverty, high crime, and threats, she will likely not understand what it is really like in dealing with a diverse student population.

Secondly, we are not talking about a child that is going to respond to an "old fashioned" talking to. We are talking about a child that threatened to kill other children in a descriptive manner. What would you call this, an act of kindness?

Finally, you compare this student running off a kid because he is white with a situation over a lunch box or tennis shoes? Are you kidding me? What if the child was white and ran a black kid off because he was black? Would you equate that with tennis shoes or lunch box? No, it would be in the newspaper with hundreds of people wanting to expell the student permanently.

You obviously can not relate to the scenario. "Talking to Johnny" can be very effective when dealing with a child that is reasonable and has a concept of good and evil and/or a conscience. The kid in question would likely laugh in your face.

I suppose that Charles Manson and Jeffery Dahmer would likely be great neighbors if their parents had a friendly chat with them. LOL.

In closing, I would suggest that if you are interested in the helping those that are habitual problems, volunteering some time at any inner-city middle school. Afterwards, you can give me some more great inspirational ideas for use in the classroom. Again, LOL.
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Old 09-01-2008, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,507 posts, read 8,008,762 times
Reputation: 3332
I am all for getting the troubled kid some help and appropriate attention (preferably the attention of police and school officials as well as parents) but in the meantime OP's son and all the other kids should be protected from this kid. Are teachers really qualified to deal with death threats? I don't think so, I think it needs to start out with the school principal and possibly filing a complaint with the police...even if just for the sake of having everything on record. My kid would not sit for one minute in a class with the little thug, not on the same bus or even at recess. They should not be within view of each other for the rest of the year and that is not something a teacher has control to implement.

I grew up next to a family who had a bunch of thugs for sons, the youngest being my same age. In 3rd grade their youngest shoved me in front of the moving school bus. I had to resort to defending myself most of the time as my parents, and his, just thought 'boys will be boys' (apparently they all neglected to appreciate that I am a GIRL). Yeah, someone had a talk with him (repeated talks to the brothers and parents, over many years) and finally a judge and jury had the final say and each of those boys have served time in prison for various crimes. I guess all the talking didn't work.
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