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Old 02-11-2009, 09:03 PM
 
19 posts, read 58,208 times
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My STBX is the one who wants the divorce. We met our one year separation time frame and I finally received papers. These papers are separation, custody & child support papers. Why are they not divorce papers? I would prefer to just get this over with. This seems like an extra step. Is this NC practice?
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Old 02-11-2009, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
311 posts, read 915,867 times
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Ask your spouse.
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Old 02-11-2009, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,729,092 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charlotte2011 View Post
My STBX is the one who wants the divorce. We met our one year separation time frame and I finally received papers. These papers are separation, custody & child support papers. Why are they not divorce papers? I would prefer to just get this over with. This seems like an extra step. Is this NC practice?
It all depends on when you filed for that separation. For example, if your separation papers are dated 1/15/09 you'll get your divorce papers 1/15/10. The year is counted from the date of filing, get it? You are not divorced yet.
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Old 02-11-2009, 10:04 PM
 
19 posts, read 58,208 times
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When I did consult with a NC attorney he said that we can divorce after we are separated for one year. We did not have to get legally separated we just had to be living in separate homes. So I know that we have been apart long enough to get divorced. When my STBX said that he was sending me papers I was expecting divorce papers.
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Old 02-11-2009, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charlotte2011 View Post
When I did consult with a NC attorney he said that we can divorce after we are separated for one year. We did not have to get legally separated we just had to be living in separate homes. So I know that we have been apart long enough to get divorced. When my STBX said that he was sending me papers I was expecting divorce papers.
Well, the lawyer is right, you don't HAVE to file separation papers, but when filing for the divorce you have to both have signed something showing that you each agree the date you quit living together was one year prior. If that is what you filed then it usually just takes 8 weeks or so to get the final divorce paperwork.

Since you said you received "separation papers" I'm thinking somebody somewhere screwed up and only filed for legal separation, not divorce. You better clarify with your ex what he filed.
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Old 02-11-2009, 10:21 PM
 
19 posts, read 58,208 times
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I know I should just ask him I just hate giving him yet another opportunity to tell me how he doesn't want to be with me. He will assume that I am asking because I think that he is doubting himself. I just think that when someone wants a divorce as bad as he does that he would get right to it.
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Old 02-11-2009, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,729,092 times
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Originally Posted by charlotte2011 View Post
I know I should just ask him I just hate giving him yet another opportunity to tell me how he doesn't want to be with me. He will assume that I am asking because I think that he is doubting himself. I just think that when someone wants a divorce as bad as he does that he would get right to it.
Is it possible he's just too stupid to have understood the process and didn't file the right thing?

In any case, just send him a very straightforward email saying, I'm just looking for clarification - where are the actual divorce papers?
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Old 02-12-2009, 04:19 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
7,041 posts, read 15,038,729 times
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Maybe bypass him and just talk to the attorney?
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Old 02-12-2009, 04:21 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
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OR (better idea) get an attorney of your own to handle it....expensive, I know, but, your own attorney will ensure your best interests...
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Old 02-12-2009, 05:41 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,729,092 times
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Originally Posted by chicagocubs View Post
Maybe bypass him and just talk to the attorney?
Chi, doesn't sound like she has an attorney, only that she consulted one at one time. You don't have to have one to file for divorce in NC, though it would be very wise to do so.
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