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PS. Hoagie, great post . . . you are a valued member of this forum and I have no doubt that you are a wonderful neighbor and coworker, as well. The truth is . . . this city is the Gateway to the New South (regardless of what Richmond says about that, LOL!!!) I think newcomers and oldtimers alike can agree that we are all growing together as this city grows. There are stereotypes that need to be dispelled. As you pointed out, friendliness and genuinely caring about the people around us transcends such silly stuff as "where someone grew up." We all have the same goals here - to make Charlotte a safe, clean, well-rounded place to raise a family, have a career - and eventually - retire. I hope everyone who comes here will have the same kind of experience you and your wife (and those precious little ones) have had . . . and will feel they can truly call Charlotte "home."
PS. Hoagie, great post . . . you are a valued member of this forum and I have no doubt that you are a wonderful neighbor and coworker, as well. The truth is . . . this city is the Gateway to the New South (regardless of what Richmond says about that, LOL!!!) I think newcomers and oldtimers alike can agree that we are all growing together as this city grows. There are stereotypes that need to be dispelled. As you pointed out, friendliness and genuinely caring about the people around us transcends such silly stuff as "where someone grew up." We all have the same goals here - to make Charlotte a safe, clean, well-rounded place to raise a family, have a career - and eventually - retire. I hope everyone who comes here will have the same kind of experience you and your wife (and those precious little ones) have had . . . and will feel they can truly call Charlotte "home."
I suggest the FOUR of us get together for tea at 3:00 where we can proceed to talk about Brian behind HIS back. Being the yankee he is, he won't give a damn
OMGosh! BRIAN! Yes, we can all talk about him, but it won't be nearly as much fun since he won't feel humiliated by it.
Only if we schedule the trip to Great Wolf Lodge to have DD coffee and donuts w/ Brian. We then can talk about everyone else to Brian. That only seems fair.
Only if we schedule the trip to Great Wolf Lodge to have DD coffee and donuts w/ Brian. We then can talk about everyone else to Brian. That only seems fair.
I concur...you and I must meet with Brian to then talk about everyone else here behind their backs - our southern mores certainly dictate we treat everyone fairly and be equal opportunity back stabbers - great point Ani
I concur...you and I must meet with Brian to then talk about everyone else here behind their backs - our southern mores certainly dictate we treat everyone fairly and be equal opportunity back stabbers - great point Ani
I knew you would agree! (or pretend to, anyway!!!)
I'm from NYC and I have some experiences in SC that I did not like at all. People were all fake-nice and would back-stab anyone and then pretend to be nice again. Southern hospitality is skin-deep and as I started - fake. Any kind of argument is seen as disrespectful (which is BS...its not disrespectful to argue!) I will be moving to Charlotte, where I heard people are AS fake and are more straight-forward. I understand it won't be as straight-forward as NYC but are people at least somewhat direct in comparison to southerners in SC and rural areas? I don't mind politeness and manners (I like it actually) but I want to be with people who can say "No" when needed, instead of saying "Sure" and not doing it.
ill say this. i moved from gastonia, nc (my hometown) to chicago, il and the people in big cities are way more "fake". Maybe you just dont get the southern politeness. it could possibly come off as fake, but i assure you, we are not. ever heard of southern hospitality? we might make jokes about yankee this or yankee that, but when it comes down to it; youre safer in charlotte when it comes down to realness. in my opinion, of course.
I'm from NYC and I have some experiences in SC that I did not like at all. People were all fake-nice and would back-stab anyone and then pretend to be nice again. Southern hospitality is skin-deep and as I started - fake. Any kind of argument is seen as disrespectful (which is BS...its not disrespectful to argue!) I will be moving to Charlotte, where I heard people are AS fake and are more straight-forward. I understand it won't be as straight-forward as NYC but are people at least somewhat direct in comparison to southerners in SC and rural areas? I don't mind politeness and manners (I like it actually) but I want to be with people who can say "No" when needed, instead of saying "Sure" and not doing it.
InfectedX, folks are having a great time being silly and "playing" the Southerner card at your expense...meaning, when folks start nitpicking our Southern ways, most Southerners will just turn it up a notch. It is a defense mechanism.
But, I'd like to give you a serious response if you sincerely want to understand, coming from a native who has interacted with a lot of newcomers on the job.
Years ago, I was hired by a relocating corporate HQ who moved most of their operation from upstate New York to Charlotte. As they filled spots, there was a good mix of southerners and upstate New Yorkers, a few NYCers, and some bi-lingual French.
Pretty much the scenario you described occured one day. One of our very young French-Canadian employees worked her way through the building, being very direct about her expectations and what she need, when she needed it, etc. There was a wake of destruction in her path. She was just completely clueless as to the "southern culture" and could not understand how she was making enemies left and right. (Behind her back, the conversations went something like this..."How rude! Smartass little whippersnapper! Who does she think she is? What, no "Please?" No "How was your weekend?" No, "Thank You?" "Does she think she is the only person who has needs?" "Does she think that we have nothing better to do than bow down before her?" "She is not a nice person." "She will not be pleasant to work with." "We will not invite her to our BBQ"...LOL). To her face, most people said..."Sure thing, I'll get right on that (bi-otch)," "Is there anything else I can do for you (like spit in your coffee)," "We'll have to do lunch sometime (like when Hell freezes over)." See, "southern culture" just demands a little sweetness served up with directness. It is just bred into us as children. You be sweet! (Sweetness is not the same as sarcasm - "You Have A Nice Day" actually means have nice day most of the time. "Bless Your Heart" generally is a statement of compassion, as in, "I feel your pain." Sarcasm enters into the picture when you have really pissed off a Southerner and they are dealing with their anger in an "indirect" fashion. "Bless Your Heart, don't let that door hit you on the way out! (Means, I wish you no bodily harm, but please feel free to leave the building).
Anyway, back to my soap opera...by the end of the day, the poor young French-Canadian was very perplexed about why everyone was reacting so poorly to her. She felt she was just being "direct." It was not her intent to be rude. It took a little while for us to all figure each other out...and decide that each of us was sincere in our own ways. Eventually, the Southerners got a little thicker skinned (and I'll admit that most rural Southerners are pretty thin-skinned when it comes to directness/bluntness), and our young French-Canadian learned to say, "Please" and "Thank You," and eventually, we did all go out to lunch and became friends.
Moral of this story - If you sincerely try to be a friend, you will make one.
(And, I can imagine you are rolling your eyes and dismissing me as a dumbass Southerner, but frankly, my dear, I just don't give a damn...still, I wish you no harm and hope you have a nice day!)
Last edited by marvinnative; 05-04-2009 at 12:59 PM..
Grow up. Have a nice German beer and some New York-style pizza and S T F U.
Spankysbbq - Still keepin' it chicken-fried fake.
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